Johnny Moronic Capturing

26/05/2010

Update for 26 May...

A quick update today from the New Zealand/French film The Vintner's Luck.

In early 1800s France, a young man is working at the local vineyard but dreams of making his own wine. After marrying Celeste (Keisha Castle-Hughes), he receives land and gets a visit from an angel who will guide him to his goal. He suffers much hardship before the death of the local wine maker, who asks his baroness niece (Vera Farmiga) to employ the man as the vineyard's winemaker. There's not that many films about winemaking, although there's been a few lately like Bottle Shock and A Good Year (Sideways is more about wine tasting). This one was much more interesting than I thought it would be, although the angel angle is a bit strange, particularly the direction it takes, but it doesn't weigh the film down. One thing I did find intriguing though is that the film takes place over about 20+ years, but Keisha Castle-Hughes doesn't seem to age a day, in fact she looks younger than her daughter when the daughter gets married. It's quite bizarre.

And there's a nice smattering of nudity throughout.

Keisha Castle-Hughes in The Vintner's Luck

10951kb 9sec 1920x816 (sex scene)

100352kb 1min 23sec 1920x816 (side-boob, arm covering breasts, possible nip-slip, sex scene taken from behind)

43868kb 36sec 1920x816 (breasts sucked, man goes under her dress to pleasure her, plenty of cleavage)

43096kb 35sec 1920x816 (plenty of cleavage, breast sucked, brief sex scene)

13159kb 10sec 1920x816 (breasts and the breasts of many others)

66269kb 55sec 1920x816 (breasts)

Vera Farmiga in The Vintner's Luck

62081kb 51sec 1920x816 (side-boob, bum, in bath, getting toweled down by two women...)

55405kb 45sec 1920x816 (breasts, sheet covering breasts)

179993kb 2min 26sec 1920x816 (breasts, sex scene, one breast is scarred)

Tags: Keisha Castle-Hughes, Vera Farmiga

22/05/2010

Update for 22 May...

I promised a weeked update and here it is.

Dear John is everything you know it is and deserve if you're watching it. Basically, some military lunkhead (a theme with this update) sees a pretty girl's (Amanda Seyfried) bag drop into the water and goes and gets it. She invites him to a party and they hit it off. Cue every soppy cliche under the sun including both lovers caring for disadvantaged people (so that you can love them more). When he is shipped overseas, they continue to write to each other until she can't take no more and she stops writing. Oh, really. I know, this isn't for cynical arseholes like me, but this film is so desperately manipulative. And Amanda Seyfried is in a slew of them. There's one out called Letters to Juliet which is based on a most moronic concept where people (OK, women) write to Juliet of Romeo and Juliet, a fictional character in a play from hundreds of years ago. OK, people writing to God, fine, he may exist. Kids writing to Santa, fine, they don't know any better. Fully functional adults writing to a fictional character, retarded. Ahhhhhh. Aren't we glad Amanda did Chloe? Well... I just watched it, but I've used up all my vitriol and I'll leave it to when I possibly get around to doing caps from the film.

Oh, and Amanda looks pretty damn fine in this film, which is some consolation I s'pose.

House Broken is a (ahem) comedy about two 20-something brothers who are still living at home and are going nowhere, much to the chagrin of their retiring father. So, he drags his wife to a cabin and leaves the boys to fend for themselves and of course, they are hopeless. They have no money, no jobs and the father has purposely not paid the bills, leaving them without electricity. So, it's time to grow up. Well, most of the jokes fall flat or are repeated so that you might find them funny the 10th time, but to be honest, the film is not completely awful, just not funny enough.

The question I ask is, can the WWE find someone with less screen presence than John Cena, the star of the first Marine film? Well, actually no, because of a sneaky little trick they should've employed in the first film. Starring Ted di Biase, who is charismaless, but they get around this by continually saying that he's a military lunkhead (there's that theme again), so it's excuseable. So, then it's down to the arse-kicking and this time it's a bunch of locals led by the sadly forgotten Temuera Morrison who want the Americans out. Cue the requistite Die Hard action. Slightly better than the first, but then, this film has the also unappreciated Lara Cox in a bikini, thereby continuing my insane pursuit of capturing Australian actresses in film.

Finally, there's Last Ride, a movie about a fugitive (Hugo Weaving) dragging his son with him as he evades the law after he commits some crime. The type of film critics in this country fall over themselves to praise and audiences will never know about, the film has it's moments, but inevitably isn't that great.

Amanda Seyfried in Dear John

Raw HD caps of Amanda in Dear John are available here.

(1080HD - video link in image) 71706kb 1min 07sec 1920x800 (bikini under see-through dress also same from Leslea Fisher)

(1080HD - video link in image) 15512kb 13sec 1920x800 (bikini bottoms)

(1080HD - video link in image) 30702kb 28sec 1920x800 (bum crack)

(1080HD - video link in image) 49188kb 46sec 1920x800 (short skirt, upskirt)

(1080HD - video link in image) 110594kb 1min 44sec 1920x800 (strategic 'nude', bra, sex scene)

(1080HD - video link in image) 18490kb 17sec 1920x800 (side-boob)

Brie Larson in House Broken

Raw HD caps of Brie from House Broken available here.

16414kb 15sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage in midriff revealing top, shorts)

32856kb 31sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage in midriff revealing top, shorts, puts a bloke's hand down her shorts)

10372kb 9sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top, shorts, down blouse)

43178kb 40sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage, shorts)

113590kb 1min 48sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top, shorts, lengthy)

4258kb 3sec 1920x1088 (sports bra, short skirt lifting up to reveal panties)

9290kb 8sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage, shorts)

Caitlin Crosby in House Broken

Raw HD caps of Caitlyn from House Broken available here.

148576kb 2min 20sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage in midriff revealing top, shorts, down blouse, lengthy)

16480kb 14sec 1920x1088 (bra)

Katey Segal in House Broken

23688kb 22sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage)

45210kb 42sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage in nightie)

40698kb 39sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top, breasts bouncing all over the place)

Christine T. Nguyen and Tabitha Taylor in House Broken

13022kb 12sec 1920x1088 (breasts and panties/G-strings from both women)

Lara Cox in The Marine 2

(1080HD - video link in image) 118706kb 1min 51sec 1920x1040 (bikini)

(1080HD - video link in image) 11384kb 9sec 1920x1040 (extremely quick upskirt)

Anita Hegh in Last Ride

4696kb 13sec 960x416 (very brief nipple, breasts/side-boob)

Tags: Amanda Seyfried, Brie Larson, Caitlin Crosby, Katey Segal, Tabitha Taylor, Christine T. Nguyen, Lara Cox, Anita Hegh

21/05/2010

Redux Friday Resurrected...

A quick redone update today. Piece by piece, I'm going to do all my old series aka pre-johnnymoronic.com (I think I've done over 100 so far).

Today, it's stuff from 21 Grams, an excellent drama from 2004 featuring Naomi Watts, Sean Penn and Benicio del Toro and on reflection an excellent supporting cast.

I'll have some new stuff from movies over the weekend.

Naomi Watts in 21 Grams

Raw HD caps of Naomi in 21 Grams are available here.

April 2021 collages

May 2010 collages

169002kb 2min 48sec 1920x1040 (breasts, sex scene, very lengthy)

64872kb 1min 06sec 1920x1040 (one piece bathing suit)

46768kb 47sec 1920x1040 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top, panties)

Melissa Leo in 21 Grams

51062kb 52sec 1920x1040 (bra, short skirt, sex scene)

Tags: Naomi Watts, Melissa Leo

20/05/2010

Australian Classics for 20 May...

After the precession of TV stuff over the past couple of weeks, it's time for something from the movies. So, it's back to some old Australian films.

Dead Calm is a superb (well, for the most part) and tense thriller set in the middle of the ocean. A couple (Sam Neill and Nicole Kidman) have taken a lengthy holiday on the seas to get over the death of their child in a car accident. After seeing no one for weeks, a boat appears out of nowhere, apparently abandoned until they spot a man (Billy Zane) rowing towards them, looking like his escaping from something. As the man rests, the husband goes over to check the abandoned boat, but the man wakes up and takes over control of their boat, taking hostage the wife and leaving the man stranded on his leaky boat. I say that the film is superb for the most part because there is a completely unnecessary final scene that only seems to be there for some fireworks (literally, as Billy Zane cops a flare through the mouth in the most insanely accurate long shot ever). It's not scary, it's not tense, it's totally expected and a complete waste of time. What's wrong with having a 80 minute film instead this filler? Ah well, the rest of the film is excellent, so I can't bitch too much.

And anything from the curly haired Nicole Kidman's days is always worth a look.

A few weeks back when I released stuff from the film Bloodmoon, I talked about what could be the worst Australian film of all time. Today, I'll offer up another entry in the form of the late 90s serial killer thriller Dead End. The film has never been released in Australia, not even onto video (a surprising number of Australian films from this period have never been released here for some reason), so I have an old British version. A former detective turned crime writer, haunted by not being able to solve his final case, has it all dredged up again when someone seems to be recreating the serial killer's murders. Meanwhile, the cops working on the case thinks it's the writer. But, of course, we know it's not, so it can only be his rather anonymous assistant, who he hates (sorry, that's a spoiler, but it's that freaking obvious).

The film was clearly made for international sale, but it completely bungles it's location. It's clearly set in Melbourne, but the FBI are working on the case? Why the fuck are the FBI working on the case? Why do the cops have American accents, but work for the Victorian police force? And there's are so many Victorian place names said throughout the movie, so what's with the American bullshit? I don't get it. There are other baffling moments such as a sub plot about the crime writer finding out that he was adopted. You know why? So that he can be related to the serial killer. Why does he have to be related to the serial killer? And isn't it bizarre that he is investigating the killings that are done by his unknown father? Then there's the graphic retelling of a rape which he openly describes to his fans at a cocktail party? Isn't that a bit wrong? Sure, it shows the only nude scene of Stingers star Kate Kendall, but was it really necessary? The ending is magnificently awful (the panty sniffing bit is a highlight).

And what a shame Victoria Hill has a body double throughout the film. She was at her peak hotness in this film. Funnily enough, she would get naked a few years later in Macbeth and December Boys.

So, is Dead End worse than Bloodmoon? Oh, you better believe it is. And the multitude of great reviews of this film at IMDB and not one bad review is just as baffling as many moments in this film. I smell a rat.

Nicole Kidman in Dead Calm

May 2010 collages

57364kb 55sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage in nightie)

162842kb 2min 38sec 1920x800 (one piece bathing suit, very lengthy)

103520kb 1min 40sec 1920x800 (breasts, bum, shorts ripped off, sex scene, lengthy)

33854kb 32sec 1920x800 (various upskirts and gown riding up to reveal panties)

149546kb 2min 25sec 1920x800 (one piece bathing suit, lengthy)

Lisa Collins, Paula Hudson-Brinkley, Sharon Cook and Malinda Rutter in Dead Calm

16418kb 15sec 1920x800 (girls showing breasts and in bikini bottoms)

Victoria Hill in Dead End

35790kb 1min 35sec 720x544 (Victoria shows plenty of cleavage and stockings and suspenders, breasts, bum and bush of body double)

2116kb 4sec 720x544 (breasts, top of bush, bum of body double, in shower)

15218kb 41sec 720x544 (nightie of Victoria, breast, nippy, panties pulled down of body double)

Kate Kendall in Dead End

9240kb 22sec 720x544 (breasts, shirt and bra ripped off, violent rape scene)

Shana Satakovski (Victoria Hill's body double) in Dead End

Leigh Holmes in Dead End

5158kb 15sec 720x544 (breasts, G-string)

Tags: Nicole Kidman, Lisa Collins, Paula Hudson-Brinkley, Sharon Cook, Malinda Rutter, Victoria Hill, Kate Kendall, Shana Satakovski, Leigh Holmes

02/05/2010

Update for 2 May...

I apologise for the site being down for 24 hours yesterday, it was a bandwidth problem, but hey, it's back up for the moment...

The Stepfather is a remake of an 80s B film, not really a film anyone was crying out to remake, but it out, so whatever... Anyway, a man has just killed his family, shaved off his beard and is ready for his next victim. He meets a woman at the supermarket and there's an instant attraction. Not long later he moves in with her daughter and son and the film gets going as the eldest son comes home from military school to meet his new dad and reacquaint himself with his hot girlfriend. But, the stepfather doesn't take long before he gets that feeling again. As I said above, there really isn't any need to remake the original and this film seems all rather pointless, except for plenty of bikini action from Amber Heard, but really...

The Kovak Box is a Hitchcockian thriller about a popular sci-fi author whose wife just jumps out of a window to her death. Then, a Spanish woman (Lucía Jiménez) gets a phone call, hears well known suicide song Gloomy Sunday and then jumps out the window, amazingly surviving. They coincidentally meet each other as they are leaving England and find out they have a connection. They then meet a creepy old man who tells them that he is involved in experiments in mind control and that there is going to be a mass suicide of hundreds of people and they are the only ones who can stop it. A very interesting and almost successful thriller which definitely deserves more attention.

Purgatorio is a Mexican film featuring a set of short stories featuring people who get caught in difficult situations which put them in some sort of purgatory (hence the title...). There's one story about a man who leaves his wife with his father to look for work in America, only for it to all go wrong. There's a story about a man looking after a drunk couple friend's baby while getting to know a prostitute. And there's a story about an old man who marries a much younger woman, but she soon becomes involved with the other male members of the house. Whatever, I just watched it for Ana Claudia Talancón, one of my faves.

Amber Heard in The Stepfather

Raw HD caps of Amber from The Stepfather are available here.