26/09/2010
Australian Classics for 26 September...
Let's head to the 90s for Australian Classics today.
Love in Limbo is a strange oddity from 1993 as in it's a film in which it's lead is a lesser known actor (Craig Adams, who had actually had come off a decent role in the underrated Holidays on the River Yarra) than the two other main actors in the film (Russell Crowe and Aden Young), hell it's probably a rare time where you will see Russell playing a nerdy virgin... Anyway, it's the 50s in Perth and Ken is obsessed with the female form. He is constantly drawing naked women and pervs on his twin sister's (Maya Stange) best friend who lives behind them, who he also has a crush on and fantasises about his teacher. All this sexual energy has his mother (Rhondda Findleton) worried, so she gets her brother to give him a job where he meets lady killer salesman Max Wiseman (Martin Sacks) who takes him under his wing, a roguish coworker, Barry (Aden Young) and a nerdy supervisor who's always sticking to the rules, Arthur (Russell Crowe). He becomes friends with Barry and Arthur and they decide to travel to a remote brothel to get laid. I remember watching this film late on TV back in the 90s, but I could barely remember anything about it. I remember them going to a brothel and Russell Crowe and Maya Stange were in it, but that's about it. Hell, I thought Maya played one of the prostitutes. She doesn't, they are played by actresses with few roles (see below). Not a bad film with some excellent period detail and a nice smattering of nudity throughout, but I doubt Russell Crowe thinks much about it anymore although his character is very similar in tone to his character from A Good Year.
In The Red is a late 90s car action film set in Sydney about a leader of a gang, Dymo, who is shot up at his home by a rival who wants his turf. The cops know who is was and take in the rival, but let him go as they try to get him on something bigger. With his gang, Dymo goes about tracking down who is responsible and getting revenge. Oh and everyone has hotted up cars so plenty of car chases. And thank fuck for those pretty well done car chases because the rest of the film is absolutely fucking awful. The lead actor is a complete block of wood (laughably described in the IMDB synopsis as 'charismatic') and his gang are hardly worth cheering for. Usually, if you are making a bunch of criminals the 'good guys', you'd make them at least likable, but they all a bunch of arseholes and I couldn't have cared less for them. Terry Serio is OK as the rival and it's good to see him behind the wheel again after 80s cult classic Running on Empty, but his role is barely written and he doesn't have much to do. Allison Cratchley gets lumped with a shit of a role, which is great for the pervs, but something you wouldn't tell future employers about. This film is hard to find, and thank fuck for that cos I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. This goes on the list of all time terrible Australian films for sure.
Rhondda Findleton in Love in Limbo
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Samantha Murray in Love in Limbo
Samantha Murray and
Maya Stange in Love in Limbo
Paula Forrest in Love in Limbo
Emily Bott in Love in Limbo
Kate Hall in Love in Limbo
Julia Moody in Love in Limbo
Annie Murtagh-Monks in Love in Limbo
Allison Cratchley in In The Red
Allison Cratchley and Vanessa Steele in In The Red
Vanessa Steele in In The Red
Coralie Eichholtz in In The Red
Tags: Rhondda Findleton, Samantha Murray, Paula Forrest, Maya Stange, Emily Bott, Kate Hall, Julia Moody, Annie Murtagh-Monks, Allison Cratchley, Vanessa Steele, Coralie Eichholtz
24/09/2010 Australian Classics for 24 September... Australian Classics heads back to the 80s for another classic Everett de Roche written Aussie thriller. Um, yeah, that's the opening line to the previous update that applies to this update as well... Harlequin is an Australian thriller that has been made to look like an international film with broad accents from Australian actors and an international cast (David Hemmings, Robert Powell, Broderick Crawford). A senator's son is dying from cancer when he is visited by a man dressed as a clown and they develop a rapport. Later, this man enters the house and mysteriously cures the kid of cancer. We find out he is Gregory Wolfe, a self proclaimed faith healer and magician who is let into the senator's and his family's lives. But, the senator is skeptical of Wolfe as he has charmed his way into the family. So, he get's his flaks to find out about the real Gregory Wolfe. In the meantime, Wolfe passes his tricks onto the now healthy boy and then strange things begin to happen endng with the maid who accuses him of rape who is mysteriously disfigured by acid. Wolfe is thrown in jail, but he escapes and comes back to cause a little havoc. Much better than it's reputation and much better than I thought it would be, it's a interesting thriller which has a supernatural side that mixes well with the thriller element. There's also some amazing moments like Wolfe holding the boy over the edge of the cliff or he and boy destroying a car with a high pitch noise or the scene where he gets rid of an abscess from the senator's aides wife and gets rid of it by chopping off her finger... And Alyson Best does what she does, on film, well, best. The film's not perfect, but definitely deserves a look. Alyson Best in Harlequin
Raw HD caps of Alyson in Harlequin are available here. May 2017 collages September 2010 collages
Tags: Alyson Best 21/09/2010 Australian Classics for 21 September... Australian Classics heads back to the 80s for another classic Everett de Roche written Aussie thriller. Fortress is a white knuckle thriller starring Rachel Ward as a school teacher in a remote town whose school is invaded by a group of men in creepy masks who are on the run from a crime. The crims take the school teacher and her class of young children of varying age hostage and drive them out to a cave to keep them for later use. That's the crims first mistake. They have badly underestimated their hostages and their own knowledge of the outback. From then on the crims try to get the hostages back under control while the hostages try to get home using their local knowledge to their advantage. Fortress is a superb little thriller that seems to be sadly lost in Australia (I had to get the DVD from the US as it look unlikely to get a release here anytime soon, or at all...). There is surprising tension and brutality throughout and the kids using their skills to capture and kill their captors is quite something. Let's face it, Everett de Roche always writes enjoyable thrillers with hardly a failure to his name. And those masks the crims wear are something else altogether. Where the hell did they come from? Rachel Ward looks pretty damn good in this film, but then that's a given as she looked amazing during the 80s. Shame we don't see Rebecca Rigg acting anymore. Going to have to dust off that bizarre double-sided DVD I have which features Tunnel Vision, a terrible mid-90s thriller that has a nice bra and panty scene from Rebecca Rigg. The film also features a young Asher Keddie, who is now the star of her very own Sunday night drama, Offspring. Rachel Ward in Fortress
Rebecca Rigg in Fortress
Tags: Rachel Ward, Rebecca Rigg
19/09/2010 Update for 19 September... The movies I've been watching recently have been quite random, so in keeping with this tradition here's the film Perfect Victims. Perfect Victims is a long delayed thriller, of sorts, about a couple of friends at a California University, one of which is rich and the other is poor. They cut a swarve through the place, partying all the time, sleeping with plenty of girls and generally pissing others off. They want to join a Skull & Bones like frat and to do so, they must perform the requistite stunts including driving a car into a wall at over the speed of 50mph, which they both do. And then they two guys and their girls and drug dealer friend go to the rich boy's home in England, a mansion and then things run off the rails fast and it starts with the poor boy sleeping with the rich boy's girlfriend and will end in death. Man, does this film want to be Fight Club and boy does it fail. The film is a complete mess and possibly one of the reasons it sat on the shelf for over 2 years. The plot runs off the rails so fast that you just have to sit back and shake your head with all the nonsense. Once they get to England the film becomes so absurd that it comes as little surprise that the twist renders the whole England scenes as meaningless. Ah well, it gives us a little nudity from Emily Hamilton in a real scungy, drug-fucked role. Shame we couldn't get a better look... Fuck... I'm hoping to have a few Australian classics over the coming week, including some interesting ones. Maybe... Sienna Guillory in Perfect Victims
Emily Hamilton in Perfect Victims
Tags: Sienna Guillory, Emily Hamilton
13/09/2010 Update for 13 September... Back with the horror movies. Book of Blood based on a story from a Clive Barker collection is about a man who is hideously disfigured who is hunted down by a bounty hunter and is about to be killed, but before, he tells the killer his story which begins with a world renowned paranormal expert who get the man in to help with her latest experiment as he supposedly has supernatural abilities. In the beginning, he seems to be faking it, but the expert has a thing for the man, maybe even a supernatural thing for him, so she continues until she has irrefutable proof that he's faking it, but then the real ghosts start to invade his body and all hell breaks loose. Or something, A pretty forgettable piece of nonsense, but will probably be best remembered in the future for Sophie Ward's extremely long nipples. If it's remembered at all... Sophie Ward in Book of Blood
Raw HD caps of Sophie in Book of Blood are available here.
Romana Abercromby in Book of Blood Tags: Sophie Ward, Romana Abercromby 10/09/2010 Redux Friday rises again... Collages and videos from Candy now available here. Revisiting Candy again, this time in HD form and hopefully this will be the last time. As much as I like Abbie Cornish, I really don't need to see this film again. Being watching 16 year-old Abbie in her first on screen appearance in Wildside and man is she was showing signs there that she was going to do some heavy stuff in the future, hell, her character becomes a drunk and sleeps with her teacher. She even plays a teenage stripper in Close Contact a year later. Dark enough for ya?
08/09/2010 Australian Classics for 8 September... The word 'classic' is used advisedly in this update. Nightmares is a 1980 slasher film directed by sleazy auteur John Lamond (check the documentary Not Quite Hollywood for his interview performed in front of a topless pole dancer...), which sees Lamond go out of his comfort zone and attempt a horror film. Before this he made two 'documentaries' about sex and the Emmanuelle-esque erotic 'drama' Felicity. A young girl spies her mother having sex and is shocked by the experience. In a car trip, her mother is getting felt up, the young girl freaks out has an accident and dies. Years later we follow a young actress, Helen (gorgeous American actress Jenny Neumann), as she auditions and gets a role in a play. She is befriended by a soap actor who is also auditioning (Gary Sweet, before he lost his hair and his balls dropped). During the rehearsals of the play, Helen freaks out and exhibits strange behaviour, particularly around people exhibiting affection. Meanwhile, the killings begin, all with glass shards, first with a couple having sex in a back alley and then it moves onto the theatre workers. And if you haven't worked out who the killer is from my synopsis, then I'll come out and tell you that it's Helen because the film is so clumsily written that I don't know whether they want us to know or they're trying cover it up, but it's that fucking obvious it's Helen from 5 minutes in that all tension is completely run out of the film, even during the killing scenes which are incredibly boring as a result. One is flat out laughable as one person is getting killed the other watches on offscreen waiting for her turn to be killed. Poor Briony Behets cops an undignified death. Two women and two men die completely naked (so make that 4 more undignified deaths). I never thought I'd say this, but thank something for John Michael Howson (now a right-wing talkback host...), the only good thing about this film with his marvelously smarmy critic goading the director about being in his favourite seat right behind the director as he can see the director squirm as the terrible play unravels. Mind you, I'm sure Lamond doesn't care in the slightest, he sure as hell says so in every interview he gives... One of these days I'll get around to some of his other 'classics'. Pacific Banana anyone? Jenny Neumann in Nightmares September 2010 collages Sue Jones in Nightmares Raw HD caps of Sue from Nightmares are available here. September 2010 collages Rossana Zuanetti in Nightmares Raw HD caps of Rossana from Nightmares are available here. September 2010 collages Angela Menzies-Wills in Nightmares Tags: Jenny Neumann, Sue Jones, Rossana Zuanetti, Angela Menzies-Wills
05/09/2010 Update for 5 September... Back onto the movies. Wild Cherry is a teen comedy which is almost a female version of American Pie, hell it's heavily influenced by it, although you could say ripped off and wouldn't be far wrong. Three girls (Tania Raymonde, Rumer Willis and Kristin Cavallari) are desperate to lose their virginity before the end of high school. Helen is boyfriend of the quarterback and seems a slam dunk to lose hers while the other two have interest from other football players. Then, the three girls discover that they are a part of a plan by the football players to 'pop the cherry' of every girl in their grade. But instead of going with the flow and doing what they were going to do, they wrangle all the virgins and beg them to not let these boys take their virginity and then dump them afterwards. Hijinks follow. Oh and Tania Raymonde's character has never had an orgasm so she must have one so she can enjoy sex (according to her helpful friends). Hmm, not a bad film, but the closeness of the plot to American Pie is astonishing at times. Rob Schneider's father character is a direct rip off of Eugene Levy's American Pie character right down to the sex talks. But, it's forgivable when he's actually not bad and it helps that Tania Raymonde is very charming in the lead. Shame she'll never be a big name actress as she's always quite watchable. Tania Raymonde in Wild Cherry
Raw HD caps of Tania from Wild Cherry available here.
Rumer Willis in Wild Cherry
Raw HD caps of Rumer from Wild Cherry available here.
Tags: Tania Raymonde, Rumer Willis, Kristin Cavallari, Tegan Moss
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Recent updates:
26/09/2010 - Rhondda Findleton, Samantha Murray, Paula Forrest, Maya Stange, Emily Bott, Kate Hall, Julia Moody and Annie Murtagh-Monks in Love in Limbo, Allison Cratchley, Vanessa Steele and Coralie Eichholtz in In The Red
24/09/2010 - Alyson Best in Harlequin (1080HD)
21/09/2010 - Rachel Ward and Rebecca Rigg in Fortress
19/09/2010 - Sienna Guillory and Emily Hamilton in Perfect Victims
13/09/2010 - Sophie Ward and Romana Abercromby in Book of Blood (1080HD)
10/09/2010 - Abbie Cornish in Candy (HD redux)
08/09/2010 - Jenny Neumann, Sue Jones, Rossana Zuanetti and Angela Menzies-Wills in Nightmares
05/09/2010 - Tania Raymonde, Rumer Willis, Kristin Cavallari and Tegan Moss in Wild Cherry (1080HD)