Johnny Moronic Capturing

28/05/2011

Australian VHS Classics for 28 May...

I hope you called your bookie last week, cos, here's the 5th consecutive Saturday Australian Classic. And I won't mention gambling again thanks to proposed legislation...

In Too Deep, from the makers of Zone 39 (see below), is a 1989 Melbourne based sweaty neo-noir about Wendy (Santha Press, another little known lead), a clothes shop owner by day and jazz singer by night who is in a tawdry relationship with Mack (musician Hugo Race), a layabout who sings in a rock band. Things are about to become strained between the two because of a number of reasons. First, Wendy's sister Jojo (Rebekah Elmaloglou, dangerously young) decides that she wants to stay with her big sis in her warehouse style apartment (that only ever exists in TV and film) and she wants to be just like her. Second, there are two cops that are following Mack convinced that he has a tape of a politician doing very bad things. And finally, it turns out Mack is a bank robber who have pulled a number of heists (geez, pulling bank robberies in Victoria in the 80s, I'm surprised none of the robbers were shot by the cops) and Wendy has found out and wants to feel the danger. Oh, and Mack is a psychopath and Wendy and Jojo are testing his patience. Of all the places in Australia, I think only anywhere in Tasmania would be less likely to set a steamy thriller than Melbourne. Sure, Melbourne gets hot in summer (not this past summer), but it's nowhere near as hot as everywhere else in Australia. Interesting film that looks suitably hot and sultry and has that lazy feel of noir, but there ain't much of anything going on (alright there's a fair bit of sex and nudity). Worth a look, mainly for the mood of the film as the main plot is barely worth mentioning.

And man, Rebekah Elmaloglou is exactly how I remember her, which is strange cos she's only 15 years old in this film. Was she really that young in Home and Away? (Turns out she was) You know, she has some quite sexy stuff in the film, but what type of person would I be if I posted it? Probably the same as if I didn't...

The original source was remarkably dark, so a fair bit of work was needed to make some scenes watchable. It is what it is, but the videos should be watchable at the very least.

Santha Press in In Too Deep

27023kb 1min 17sec 720x576 (breasts, bum)

30208kb 1min 26sec 720x576 (breasts, plenty of cleavage)

20147kb 58sec 720x576 (plenty of cleavage in nice dress, upskirt)

25052kb 1min 12sec 720x576 (breasts, bum)

2914kb 9sec 720x576 (one piece bathing suit)

14471kb 42sec 720x576 (full frontal and rear nudity, plenty dark)

42903kb 2min 01sec 720x576 (full frontal and rear nudity, two sex scenes, one taken from behind, one on a swing, lengthy)

17472kb 50sec 720x576 (breasts, giving blow job)

16777kb 46sec 720x576 (one piece bathing suit)

29229kb 1min 23sec 720x576 (bra, takes off panties)

14614kb 42sec 720x576 (side-boob and panties, gown)

Tags: Santha Press

27/05/2011

Update for 27 May...

No redux Friday today (I can hear the collective sigh from here), but I've had enough time to scrounge up a quickie from a newly released film.

John Carpenter's The Ward is a ghost story thriller set in 1966 about Kristen (Amber Heard), who is put into a restricted part of a mental asylum after she is caught burning down a house. In the ward with her are Emily (Mamie Gummer), Sarah (Danielle Panabaker), Iris (Lyndsy Fonseca) and Zoey (Laura-Leigh) who are all in for various reasons. Kristen begins to see a ghost who seems to be of former resident Alice (Mika Boorem), a ghost that recently killed another resident Tammy. Kristen is desperate to break out of the asylum, but it seems the ghost is keeping her there. The ghost is also killing the other residents one by one and the bodies are disappearing in what seems like a cover-up by the doctor, nurse and orderlies. Can Kristen break out of the asylum before the ghost kills her. Well... there's a twist. A pretty stock standard thriller from the seriously out-of-form John Carpenter (his first film is 10 years) that feels like it could've been directed by anyone. Nothing special, a neat twist, but if you think about the story, it's setting and what type of people inhabit it's setting for half a second, you'll work the twist out. It's not completely obvious, but it ain't much of a puzzle either.

And Amber Heard is always worth watching...

And what happened to the Bluray of this film? Looks like it's been dumped (here in Australia anyway). I guess John Carpenter's name don't sell no more. Oh, and fuck that "John Carpenter's" title. If it don't sell, it's time to give that up.

Amber Heard in John Carpenter's The Ward (including 1 video with Laura-Leigh, Mamie Gummer, Danielle Panabaker and Lyndsy Fonseca)

Raw HD caps of Amber are available here.

(1080HD - video link in image) 116949kb 1min 27sec 1920x824 (see-through slip, upskirt revealing panties)

(1080HD - video link in image) 21949kb 17sec 1920x824 (side-boob, bare back, bra and panties, in shower)

(1080HD - video link in image) 110447kb 1min 23sec 1920x824 (nipple tape, side-boob, bare back from Amber, side-boob from Laura-Leigh, Mamie Gummer and Danielle Panabaker also featuring Lyndsy Fonseca in shower)

Laura-Leigh in John Carpenter's The Ward

Raw HD caps of Laura-Leigh are available here.

(1080HD - video link in image) 3014kb 2sec 1920x824 (upskirt)

Tags: Amber Heard, Laura-Leigh, Mamie Gummer, Danielle Panabaker, Lyndsy Fonseca

21/05/2011

Australian VHS Classics for 21 May...

Let's continue with the lost Australian VHS classics for today's version of Australian Classics (four in a row, call the doctor, your bookie or someone you love...).

Ebbtide is a 1994 thriller (possibly erotic thriller) set in Adelaide about a hotshot lawyer Jeff Warren (US actor Harry Hamlin) who takes over the cases of his long time buddy who is killed while investigating a case against a company accused of polluting the water around it's plant which resulted in the death of a boy fishing nearby. Turns out his friend is nothing more than an ambulance chaser who stumbled onto this case because his mother wants justice, but what Jeff finds is a massive cover up involving it's two owners Ellen and Harry Fielding (New Zealand actress Judy McIntosh and John Waters). Jeff becomes obsessed with Ellen, and they begin an affair, which the Fieldings will use to frame Jeff for the murder of the real Harry Fielding (don't ask). And then... Well, Ebbtide starts off earnestly enough before it loses the plot completely as soon as Judy McIntosh hits the screen (not her fault). The film devolves into a pointless erotic thriller and any plot momentum goes straight out the window. But then the early 90s is full of dodgy erotic thrillers cashing in on Basic Instinct (hell, Harry Hamlin was in another called Save Me, remember that?). John Waters sleepwalks through his limited screen time. Then there's the ending, which is absolutely preposterous. An open ending for a film like this, really? It's a shame about director Craig Lahiff because he's a decent genre director (Coda, Fever, Heaven's Burning... dodgy Russell Crowe sideburns and all), but this (and his previous Strangers) are utter stinkers, only memorable by morons like me who remember the nude scenes in them (note to self: find a copy of Strangers for Anne Looby's nude scene).

Just a reminder, these collages and videos are from a VHS, so it's not perfect, but perfectly watchable.

Judy McIntosh in Ebbtide

12294kb 33sec 720x544 (sex scene)

53244kb 2min 28sec 720x544 (bum, underwear, sex scene, lengthy)

11264kb 29sec 720x544 (breasts, in shower)

8186kb 23sec 720x544 (brief breasts, sex scene)

65532kb 2min 57sec 720x544 (breasts, bum, long shirt possibly see-through - no underwear??, lengthy sex scene)

Unknown in Ebbtide

6132kb 17sec 720x544 (breasts, bum, possible bush from behind, sex scene(s) including reverse cowgirl)

Tags: Judy McIntosh

20/05/2011

Redux Friday finds some old VHS tapes...

Collages and videos from Court of Lonely Royals are now available here.

I've been putting this off for ages, but it's time to head into the back catalogue and unearth some VHS only titles of mostly Australian films, that most likely will never make it to DVD. The technology has gotten to the point where VHS is near DVD quality (depending on the quality of the tape), so why not find some long lost titles.

Angst is a 2000 Australian slacker comedy about three people who share a house in Sydney. Dean works at a video store and is writing horror movie screenplay as life passes him by. Ian works at a King's Cross sex shop as a failed stand-up comedian. Jade (Jessica Napier) is unemployed with not much going on except trying to dump her ever persistent boyfriend. All are about to have small life-changing moments that will help them get out of their ruts. Dean meets May (Abi Tucker), a goth, who helps him move on from his previous girlfriend. Ian goes to a party of his old school buddy Barnesy, who convinces him to give stand-up one more try. Jade takes a (non-sexual) liking to Mole, a teenage junkie who Jade convinces the boys to take in after Mole fails to rob the sex store where Ian works and tries to help Mole out, even after he steals their precious VCR. Very much of the time, Angst may only be 11 years old, but it feels like a relic and I should know, I was these characters 11 years ago (still am to a certain extent). While it's incredibly easy to see it's influences even without watching the movie, some of those even feel passé. I think it's a film very much of it's time and even the slacker genre has moved on from this, not much mind you, it's still obsessed with marijuana, just less obsessed with pop culture as slackers of the 90s were/still are. An OK film with some funny moments, but feels dated. And the two lead male actors have barely worked in film/TV since (although one is a mainstay of slightly comic ads). And I've always had a thing for Abi Tucker, there's that I s'pose. There's a interesting moment (that only I could appreciate) where one character looks at an internet dating site called 'Love Bytes' and all I could think of is that lost cable mini-series from the early 2000s that I've been trying to find called... Love Bytes, starring... Abi Tucker.

I first capped Angst in early 2002, actually it's the first film I capped with my own video tuner, back in the days when at full size I could only cap at 5 frames per second and the largest size I could get at full frame rate was 480x360, but only on good days. I've been itching for a belated DVD release anywhere since, but it doesn't seem to likely to ever happen, so I did the next best thing. The quality of the videos could easily pass for 'DVD quality', but it's straight from a VHS of the movie, which is something new I'm still trying out. I have a few Australian titles that I've been looking for that are not out on DVD anywhere in the world and would appear to be lost in the vault buried under an ocean. Some titles are of 'DVD quality', others I have are barely passable, so I might not make collages of them. Some titles even have absolute shitloads of nudity. I'll try to release them regularly, usually under the weekend Australian Classics label, but I also have a number of DVDs of Australian films (and TV) I've got to get to as well.

Tomorrow in Australian Classics will the be the second VHS title, as requested, from Ebbtide. I'll speak about that more tomorrow, cos it's an absolute doozy of a film. And by doozy, I mean impenetrably dreadful. Sadly, that's the problem with what I do, I'm going to come across some appalling films in the process.

But, there's some good stuff coming, that you won't get anywhere else.

Oh, and I've tacked on some better quality videos from the 2006 weirdo hitman conspiracy thriller Court of the Lonely Royals, which I've had laying around for a while, but was inspired to release by seeing a very young Samantha Noble (as in 14-15) in the 1st series of All Saints. There's a couple of lost nude scenes (from actresses that have already done nudity) from that first season that I'll release soon enough. Possibly next week if I get everything done.

Abi Tucker in Angst

56324kb 2min 44sec 720x544 (breasts, side-boob, 'nude' but covered, bra, sex scene and gone down on, very lengthy)

Jessica Napier in Angst

5118kb 17sec 720x544 (side-boob, two flashing of breasts from behind)

Tags: Abi Tucker, Jessica Napier

15/05/2011

Update for 15 May...

Been a bit up and down with what I've done recently. One week all movies, next week all TV. TV seems to be delivering by the bucket load in recent times.

Good Neighbours is a Canadian black comedy thriller about 3 inhabitants in a Montreal apartment block over an extremely cold winter beginning with the Quebec secession referendum in 1995. Louise (Emily Hampshire) is a bit of a sour puss who works at a Chinese restaurant and has 2 cats. Spencer (Scott Speedman) is a wheelchair bound shut-in whose only outside contact seems to be from a masseuse and Louise, and they mainly talk about a serial killer who is stalking girls in Montreal. Victor (Jay Baruchel) is a new arrival from China and attempt to build a friendship with Louise and Spencer. Oh and there's a French-Canadian woman who also lives at the apartment building and is a miserable drunk, hates Louise's cats and generally complains about everything in French. When the serial killer knocks off Louise's co-worker, Victor offers to walk Louise home from work, which she accepts. Then, the crazy neighbour has had enough of the cats and poisons them to death, and Louise decides to hatch a rather devious plan to bump off the neighbour and make it look like Victor has done it. Oh and Spencer has a secret, which may just play into Louise's hand for her devious plot to work. Interesting little black comedy that has a powerhouse performance from Emily Hampshire, particularly when she dreams up her murder plot which shows her to be extremely devious and willing to do anything to get her revenge. Also the film reminds me of a similar Canadian film in Love and Human Remains, but is superior to that film as the main focus of Good Neighbours is not which one is the serial killer (*spoiler* actually the serial killer isn't determined by the end of the film) but around the relationship between the three protagonists and their increasingly weird and secretive behaviour. Well worth a look if you like a murderous black comedy.

Damn, Emily Hampshire's fully nude scene is incredibly dark. I did what I can, but it's still pretty dark. The collages are problematic as well, not the seams though, the dark makes things easier... Hopefully I can get my hands on a HD source to improve what I have up.

Emily Hampshire in Good Neighbours

Raw HD caps of Emily are available here.

(1080HD - video link in image) 57671kb 44sec 1920x816 (breasts, in bath)

(1080HD - video link in image) 145040kb 1min 49sec 1920x816 (full frontal and rear nudity, lengthy, plenty dark)

(1080HD - video link in image) 138739kb 1min 46sec 1920x816 (nippy, see-through top to nipples, shorts, lengthy)

Tags: Emily Hampshire

14/05/2011

Australian Classics for 14 May...

3 weeks in a row must be a record 'round here for a concept.

Zone 39 is a 1996 sci-fi thriller set in the near future about Leo Magaw (Peter Phelps), who is a lieutenant in the Federated Republics army, who are still fighting a war with the New Territories Union. When his pregnant wife (Carolyn Bock) is assassinated after she accesses classified information about the goings on in the disputed Zone 39. Racked with grief, Magaw is forced into doing border patrol work in Zone 39, a job that is notorious for sending previous patrolmen crazy. And slowly Magaw becomes crazy, because of the poisoned water source which he discovers thanks to the apparition of his wife. It seems that some high-up members of the Federated Republics have poisoned the water and are covering it up. Dying from being exposed to the water, Magaw must work with the enemy to get the message out to the locals that they are in danger of being poisoned to death by the callous leaders. Strange little sci-fi film that has pretty much disappeared off the face of the Earth, but is surprisingly efficient considering it's obvious budget restraints. Filmed in both Melbourne (Flagstaff Station looks decidedly appalling, I wonder how they did that as it's never looked that putrid) and in Woomera for the Zone 39 scenes (close to where Pitch Black was later filmed), the film is basically a single hander with Peter Phelps on screen for at least 90% of the film and he does pretty well. Sci-fi isn't a genre done much in Australia or well for the that matter, but this film has a pretty decent stab at it and has some success.

Carolyn Bock in Zone 39

16336kb 43sec 768x416 (full frontal nudity, sex scene)

21546kb 56sec 768x416 (breast, side-boob, in shower, plenty dark)

Tags: Carolyn Bock

07/05/2011

Australian Classics for 7 May...

Midnite Spares is a 1983 action comedy about a wannabe race car driver Steve (James Laurie, upholding the tradition of no names in the lead of 80s Australian films) who has come back to his father's workshop after he is killed in mysterious circumstances. The place is run by a ragtag bunch, but for the most part they are squeaky clean. It is suspected that a rogue group of car thieves is behind his father's death and Steve wants his revenge, but this group has friends in high places and they aren't going down without a fight. Also, Steve falls for Ruth (Gia Carides), but she has a rather strict family and it's going to take a lot to convince them he's the bloke for her. As I said above, the lead is a virtual no name, but the cast is full of a merry band of journeymen actors who are more well known. The mood is jovial through and for the most part the film is played for broad laughs. It's a fun film without been all that memorable and came from a period where Australians were flooded with similar car films (Mad Max, Running on Empty etc.). I'm surprised that these type of car films aren't still getting made as Australians are still pretty obsessed with cars.

And man, Gia Carides is so young and cute in this film that the role seems like a relic. She pretty much only plays blowsy women and has for over 20 years (see Strictly Ballroom, Bad Company, Primary Colors, Brilliant Lies, East of Everywhere and the now showing Small Time Gangster plus many others). Amanda Dole is one of those curious fixtures in 80s Australian cinema, more notable for her nude spread(s) than her acting, but she's the star of a curious film called Pandemonium thanks to her boyfriend of the time. I've haven't actually seen the film, but everyone that's seen it seems to have no idea what to think about it. And Amanda starts naked in the film... Might have to find a copy somewhere.

Gia Carides in Midnite Spares

Raw HD caps of Gia from Midnite Spares are available here.

May 2011 collages

10056kb 11sec 1920x1036 (bra)

163996kb 2min 51sec 1920x1036 (plenty of cleavage, very lengthy)

31401kb 35sec 1920x1036 ('nude' under covers)

70316kb 1min 16sec 1920x1036 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top/long shirt)

Amanda Dole in Midnite Spares

Raw HD caps of Amanda from Midnite Spares are available here.

March 2023 collages

May 2011 collages

41257kb 45sec 1920x1036 (brief breasts, plenty of cleavage in nice dress)

53161kb 56sec 1920x1036 (bikini also other women in bikinis)

73709kb 1min 20sec 1920x1036 (breasts, bra and panties, skirt, stockings)

Tags: Gia Carides, Amanda Dole

06/05/2011

Redux Friday gets Shakespearean...

Collages and videos from Macbeth now available here.

It's good of the French to release an Australian film on Bluray as it's never gonna happen here. Hadn't seen the film since I first capped it, but it's still a pretty solid present day rejig. And one of the last pre-Hollywood starring roles for Sam Worthington.

And yeah, Macbeth is my favourite Shakespeare play.

05/05/2011

Update for 5 May...

Let's head in to something a little more... obscure.

A Nocturne is a Melbourne based vampire philosophical drama about two vampires, a male and a female apparently called X and Z (although I don't remember this) who roam the streets of Melbourne looking for their next victim and find one. They being her back to their abandoned warehouse and feast on her with a cannibal who recites arcane poetry and Vee, a woman they turned into a vampire. After the feast, they meet their French mentor who tells them that the path they are leading is not the one to the 'transcendence' they are looking for. Dismayed by this, they wander the streets in a daze until a tragedy occurs. Well, I hope that's clear. Now, can you tell me what it all means because I am at a loss. There are two quotes from Nietzsche bookending the film and there is a vibe that all is futile throughout, but my feeble mind just doesn't understand it at all. And I'm surprised Troma are involved with the distribution as this seems a little heavier than the usual low budget fair. I tried...

Vanessa de Largie in A Nocturne

36754kb 1min 36sec 960x544 (breasts)

8916kb 24sec 960x544 (full frontal and rear nudity)

33622kb 1min 27sec 960x544 (breast, top pulled down)

Frances Marrington in A Nocturne

19960kb 53sec 960x544 (bra, shirt ripped open)

Tags: Vanessa de Largie, Frances Marrington

04/05/2011

Update for 4 May...

More HD stuff. I must be mad...

Chain Letter, from the makers of 7eventy 5ive (yeah, the title says it all really), is a horror film about a group of teenagers who are stalked by a killer all because they failed to pass along a chain letter. There's also something about an anti-technology group being behind it and the killer murdering everyone with a chain. Usually, I'd go into more detail, but why bother, the filmmakers didn't. The chain letter is a rather flimsy concept for killing someone, considering the killer doesn't seems to give a shit about whether or not they send it or even have any reason, even a flimsy one, to target the kids other than to kill someone. Hell, we don't even find out who the killer is, which is fine, but it keeps in line with everything in the film not thought out past the kills. And even the kills are far too elaborate to make any sense, particularly the final kill which needs two cars to be driven at the same time. Dreadful and then some.

Cherilyn Wilson in Chain Letter

Raw HD caps of Cherilyn are available here.

132233kb 1min 38sec 1920x1080 (breasts, in bath, lengthy)

Madison Bauer in Chain Letter

Raw HD caps of Madison are available here.

40989kb 32sec 1920x1080 (side-boob, in towel, in shower)

Tags: Cherilyn Wilson, Madison Bauer

03/05/2011

Update for 3 May...

Has it been that long since I've done some HD stuff? Let's re-enter the fray with a site fave.

Tamara Drewe is a gentle and very British romantic comedy about a small town who is about to be turned upside down thanks to the arrival of Tamara Drewe (Gemma Arterton). Back in her home town to fix up the old family house for sale after the death of her mother, she is about to tantalise a number of men, including former lover Andy and adulterous writer Nicholas, but in the meantime, she is dating a drummer for rock band she was interviewing. Add in a couple of bored teenage girls desperate to meet the drummer and things become well and truly shook up. Oh, and Tamara has had a nose job, which seems pretty pointless to the plot, but is obsessed over. A rather disappointing and utterly predictable film that spends way too long on the bored teenage girls and their very juvenile antics. The ending is so trite it's could be considered offensive to the viewer. And there's no lead up, just Tamara has to end up with Andy, even though there's no spark throughout the film. Bah, the more I think about, the pissed off at it I am. At least there's Gemma lighting up the screen, that's the best I can say about the film unfortunately.

Gemma Arterton in Tamara Drewe

Raw HD caps of Gemma are available here.