Johnny Moronic Capturing

22/12/2008

Update for 22 December

Lots of little series for this update from quite a diverse batch of films.

First off The Love Guru, which is quite possibly the worst film of the year, well the worst I've seen and I've seen some absolute shit. I would suggest that Mike Myers was going for the record number of dick jokes in a film, he might not have reach that record (whatever that is), but he sure broke the record for the most unfunny ones, which is all of them. And to top it off, two elephants have sex, and then it just gets sad. And to think Mike Myers made fairly funny films like the two Wayne's World films, So I Married An Axe Murderer and bits and pieces of the first two Austin Powers films...

Well, if you want terrible, how 'bout an unnecessary prequel to Vacancy. The original is a pretty solid thriller and this prequel just rehashes it without the suspense and is a lot dumber. As an origin film, it's incredibly pointless and what's with the the killing of the black couple... Needed more kills? And what's happening with Agnes Bruckner's career? I predicted that she was going to be star 5 years ago and now she's making forgettable straight to DVD fare. Pffft...

The Soul Keeper is about the relationship between psychiatrist Carl Jung and one of his patients Sabina Spielrein, who later discovered a kindergarten called The White Nursery in Russia that was shut down by Stalin. Basically, this film is about Sabina and how she influenced the word of Jung and Freud in the area of schizophrenia (although Jung was fired for having an affair with her), it's an OK film, but seems to brush over what influence she actually had to focus on the affair.

And When Did You Last See Your Father is a film starring Colin Firth about a son coming home to see his dying dad and remembering moments in his life, particularly ones involving him and his father. It's a pretty good film, a bit of a weepie, with a solid cast. Snow Angels is an excellent drama that focuses on the complexities of relationships, whether they are just starting, falling apart or spiralling into tragedy. A great ensemble cast and a well told story from the director of other good dramas All The Real Girls and Undertow (and Pineapple Express, which is something completely different).

What We Do Is Secret is a film about the seminal punk band The Germs and their impact on the punk scene during their 3 years of existence. Their gigs were so out of control that they were banned from pretty much everywhere in LA. The film focuses more on lead singer Darby Crash than the other members, and there really isn't much focus on the music in the film (well the jury's still out over whether they were that good...), but they featured in the great doco The Decline of Western Civilization and have had an impact on many bands, including Nirvana and Red Hot Chili Peppers. The film's is OK, but kind of skirts over their career (which is a problem with bio pics), not giving a lot of insight in what makes them good (or shit).

Finally a couple of foreign films, An Italian Romance, a pretty forgettable romantic drama about a man who obsesses over a woman he first saw in a saucy photograph. Sheesh, just rub one out and get on with it (no offence to Maya, she's fine). Then there's Un Poco de Chocolate which is a sweet little Spanish romantic comedy about new loves and lost loves and such and it has Bárbara Goenaga, a new fave, so it makes the film much more watchable, well for me anyway.

Jessica Alba in The Love Guru

Raw HD caps of Jessica in The Love Guru are available here.

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Meagan Good in The Love Guru

Raw HD caps of Meagan in The Love Guru are available here.

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Agnes Bruckner in Vacancy 2: The First Cut

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Emilia Fox in The Soul Keeper

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Elaine Cassidy in And When Did You Last See Your Father?

Raw HD caps of Elaine available here.

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Kate Beckinsale in Snow Angels

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Olivia Thirlby in Snow Angels

Raw HD caps of Olivia in Snow Angels are available here.

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Bárbara Goenaga in Un Poco de Chocolate

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Maya Sansa in L' Amore Ritrovato (An Italian Romance)

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Randi Newton in What We Do Is Secret

Raw HD caps of Randi from What We Do Is Secret are available here.

December 2008 collages

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Tags: Jessica Alba, Meagan Good, Agnes Bruckner, Emilia Fox, Elaine Cassidy, Kate Beckinsale, Olivia Thirlby, Bárbara Goenaga, Maya Sansa, Randi Newton

14/12/2008

Update for 14 December

I'm back again, this time to finally get a bunch of stuff just sitting on my hard drive that I should've done ages ago. Plus, I can past the 1000 series mark... Well, if you want to be technical, I've missed a couple of series, redone a number and done more not counted at Johnny Moronic Television. But hey, I just thought I'd bring it up.

Elegy is about an aging professor who has one last fling with one of his much younger students (Penélope Cruz, too old for the role). It's an OK movie and anytime Penélope is in a film, I'm there as you will have seen from the numerous time that I've capped her. And she looks amazing in this film, what more can be said?

Así del Precipicio is a well, terrible but a magnificently sleazy Mexican film about three women housemates who all have pretty big problems, whether it be to do with love, alcohol and drugs or just plain old criminal. No likeable characters (not that it matters), characters with absolutely terrible motives (there's about 10 minutes of the film which is unwatchably bad), but plenty of sex, nudity, drugs and sleaze for those who like that (...puts hand up). By the way, Ana de la Reguera is the (hot) nun from Nacho Libre, and she's very naked here...

I accidentally came across Zulay Henao during my travails down to the bottom shelf, and she appears in 2 bottom shelf forgettables, Feel The Noise and Illegal Tender, both worthy of the bottom shelf and only redeemed by Zulay. Her dancing in Feel The Noise is a highlight (the only one). Hopefully I'll cap more from her in the future.

If you look closely, you'll see that's it's almost a Spanish update, but don't think I'll get around to an official one, just post what I have in between other updates.

Penélope Cruz in Elegy

Raw HD caps of Penélope are available here.