Johnny Moronic Capturing

31/05/2009

Update for 31 May...

The updates are steadily coming along, today from the British horror comedy, Lesbian Vampire Killers.

First off, a rant. Last Thursday, I went and saw Lesbian Vampire Killers in the cinema when it opened here and got a nasty surprise. Prices had gone up again! That's 4 times in 4 years. It now costs $17 to go to a decent cinema, which is almost as much as a DVD of the film would be in a few months. And then because it's a limited release, they drag the film to the smallest and scumiest cinema in the joint. Sadly, this was the only place playing the film anywhere near me, so I had no choice. Look, I like going to the cinema to watch films still, but to watch a hard to find, limited release on a weekday morning for $17 is an absolute rip-off. It looks like the major, comfortable cinemas are becoming more off-limits to me in the near future.

And what's happened to 'Tight-Arse Tuesdays'?

Alright, calm down...

How can a film called Lesbian Vampire Killers be anything but great? Well... sadly it isn't. It's only OK. Basically, two friends go to Cragwich for a hiking weekend to get away from it all. It turns out that the town is cursed by vampire and not just any vampires, lesbian vampires! And the two friends along with 4 hot chicks are used as bait for the vampires, but it turns out the party has two key ingredients for one helluva night. To bring back the beloved lesbian vampire queen Carmilla, the blood of the last remaining person in the lineage of the knight who damned Carmilla and the blood of a virginal woman need to come together, and it just so happens both are in the party. This film desperately wants to be Shaun of the Dead, even down the the two leads been remarkably similar to those of Shaun of the Dead, but it's just not as funny or as well made. But it's not bad and there's some fun to be had. And there's lesbian vampires...

Raw HD caps of all the girls of Lesbian Vampire Killers are available here.

Myanna Buring in Lesbian Vampire Killers

Myanna Buring, Ashley Mulheron, Tiffany Mulheron and Louise Dylan in Lesbian Vampire Killers

56257kb 42sec 1920x800 (Tiffany and Ashley Mulheron show plenty of cleavage in singlet top and bra peeking out, Tiffany in short skirt with upskirt, Ashley and Louise Dylan in shorts)

319880kb 3min 54sec 1920x800 (Tiffany and Ashley Mulheron show plenty of cleavage in singlet top and bra peeking out, Tiffany in short skirt, Ashley and Louise Dylan in shorts, extremely lengthy)

162235kb 2min 1920x800 (Tiffany Mulheron with hair over breasts, plenty of cleavage in singlet top and bra peeking out with short skirt, upskirt, Louise Dylan in shorts, Vera Filatova in see-through dress to nipple patch, lengthy)

Myanna Buring and Vera Filatova in Lesbian Vampire Killers

263762kb 3min 13sec 1920x800 (see-through dress to nipple patch from Vera, plenty of cleavage from Myanna, extremely lengthy)

177849kb 2min 11sec 1920x800 (see-through dress to nipple patch from Vera, plenty of cleavage from Myanna, girl-girl kiss between Silvia Colloca and Vera Filatova, girl-girl kiss between Myanna Buring and Vera Filatova, lengthy)

Silvia Colloca (with Vera Filatova) in Lesbian Vampire Killers

93863kb 1min 10sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage in bra top, girl-girl kiss with Vera Filatova, some topless chicks)

113088kb 1min 23sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage)

Vera Filatova in Lesbian Vampire Killers

Ashley Mulheron in Lesbian Vampire Killers

65657kb 50sec 1920x800 (breasts, in towel, in shower)

32551kb 25sec 1920x800 (breasts, breasts grabbed)

Tiffany Mulheron in Lesbian Vampire Killers

Emer Kenny in Lesbian Vampire Killers

94601kb 1min 11sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage)

Lucy Gaskell in Lesbian Vampire Killers

23731kb 19sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage)

79179kb 59sec 1920x800 (bra)

Nude Girls in Lesbian Vampire Killers

10891kb 10sec 1920x800 (breasts of two girls)

Tags: Myanna Buring, Ashley Mulheron, Tiffany Mulheron, Louise Dylan, Vera Filatova, Silvia Colloca, Lucy Gaskell, Emer Kenny

27/05/2009

Update for 27 May...

I've haven't done a lot recently, but that's for a few reasons, one of them being I'm planning some pretty big updates in the coming weeks starting tonight.

The Unborn is a preposterous horror film that mixes Jewish folklore, the Kabbalah, Nazi experiments, an exorcism, requisite creepy kids, some shit about twins and any other garbage into a plot about a young girl fighting her family's past demons. There is some freaky imagery in the film, but it needs a lot more to save it. And if you've seen the posters for the film, namely the ones with Odette in her tight little panties, you can see the level this film is working at.

But it gets worse, much much worse and that's Stolen Life (called Reckless Behaviour: Caught on Tape everywhere else but Australia). This film has Lifetime written all over it, which automatically drags it down, but not to the depths this film reaches. A kindergarden teacher goes with her friends to Spring Break, where they have too much to drink and get filmed by one of those Girls Gone Wild like camera crews and the teacher becomes a internet 'porn' star. But it seems some of the footage has been doctored to make it look like she was having sex. People in her local town find out and she becomes an outcast. And there's a stalker. And it's complete and utter bullshit. The plot is preposterous and the actions of the characters are just plain ridiculous. This is someone making a film that wants to expose the sleazy world, but has never ever experienced it and also doesn't want to offend anyone. Some of the things are mind-boggling like the stalker magically finding his fetish. The doctoring of the footage is bad, really bad. And the girl power ending is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. There's more, but I'm having therapy to forget this film. One of the worst films I've ever seen...

At least Odette is hot, and I mean mega hot.

(Update 04/02/2011) Back with the reduxes today, this time off one of the most searched for series on this site, Odette Yustman from The Unborn. Take a wild stab in the dark as to why. Here's a clue:

Still an awful film and basing the mystical crap on, of all things, the Kabbalah. Seriously? Bah... And man, does Odette look like a doll come to life. Amazing looking woman.

(Update 29/04/2017) Not done with the HD reduxes, today the made-for-TV movie Reckless Behaviour: Caught On Tape (it was called Stolen Life here in Australia) that was actually made in New Zealand, so there's a bunch of Kiwi actors throughout (including the two Hannahs below). Terrible and terribly naive movie about a teacher who goes on a holiday with her friends that just happens to coincide with Spring Break. While at the beach they, but particularly Odette's character, is preyed upon by a film crew looking for sleazy footage and get the ladies to 'loosen up'. Then it gets discovered on a porn site and she and her family become pariahs in the community. And don't forget a stalker for more 'punishment'. So, so bad, so much laughable stuff, my favourite being when they need an expert to show that obvious inserts were put into the videos. Also, I thought to myself, who is the New Zealand actor who always plays sleazes and I bet they turn up in this movie and I come up with Mike Edward and lo and behold he turns up as a distributor of the DVDs. Hahaha, of course...

Odette has a scene where she shows some side-boob with obvious patches over nipples, probably the closest we'll ever get to nudity from her. Also forgot that Hannah Marshall (from Packed To The Rafters and The Infinite Man) shows some side-boob in this movie, more than she's ever shown.

Odette Yustman in The Unborn

Raw HD caps of Odette from The Unborn are here.

February 2011 collages

May 2009 collages

80013kb 1min 03sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage and panties, possible camel toe - too dark to see)

47193kb 38sec 1920x800 (bare back in shower, plenty of cleavage in towel)

204488kb 2min 37sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top and panties, camel toe, brief sex scene, very lengthy)

126352kb 1min 38sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage)

161371kb 2min 05sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top, lengthy)

13251kb 12sec 1920x800 (midriff)

Odette Yustman in Stolen Life (Reckless Behaviour: Caught on Tape)

Raw HD caps of Odette in Reckless Behaviour: Caught On Tape are available here.

April 2017 collages

May 2009 collages

Raw caps

38680kb 45sec 1920x1088 (side-boob with patch on breasts, 'nude' under covers)

285371kb 4min 39sec 1920x1088 (brief side-boob/arm covering breasts, bikini, faking orgasms, extremely lengthy)

52489kb 50sec 1920x1088 (arm covering breasts, bikini)

38704kb 48sec 1920x1088 ('nude' in shower)

Hannah Marshall in Reckless Behaviour: Caught On Tape

Raw HD caps of Hannah in Reckless Behaviour: Caught On Tape are available here.

May 2009 collages

133748kb 2min 10sec 1920x1088 (side-boob, bikini, lengthy)

Hannah Banks in Reckless Behaviour: Caught On Tape

Raw HD caps of Hannah in Reckless Behaviour: Caught On Tape are available here.

May 2009 collages

112225kb 1min 49sec 1920x1088 (bikini, takes top off, fakes orgasm, lengthy)

Tags: Odette Yustman, Hannah Banks, Hannah Marshall

15/05/2009

Update for 15 May...

Yeah, I know, this movie is going to be capped to death. So I thought I'd get in early with my look, well as early as I can...

Powder Blue is another one of those ensemble dramas where all the characters amazingly interact with each other. And of course they all have problems. A man wants someone to help him kill himself. A woman is desperately trying to get out of her situation and hopes that her son awakes from a coma. A dying man becomes obsessed with above woman, but what is his relationship with her. And a socially awkward man who reluctantly runs his failing family business wants to become a puppeteer. If you've read my previous posts, I really am beginning to hate these movies, they are just so contrived and maudlin. And now they are becoming more pretentious, I mean The Air I Breathe was practically unwatchable. This is a bit better, but it's still begins pretty badly and ends a lot better.

Oh, and Jessica Biel gets naked...

This is also the first time I've capped from a MKV file, which is fine for caps but making videos was a complete pain. Ugh, they took forever to make, but they're done and they are higher quality than usual and bigger. So, is that what they mean 'no pain, no gain'?

Jessica Biel in Powder Blue

Raw HD caps of Jessica from Powder Blue are available here.

July 2016 collages