Johnny Moronic Capturing

28/03/2012

Update for 28 March...

Russia looks good today.

You and I (I'll only ever know this film as Finding t.a.t.u thank you very much) is about two online friends Russian country girl Lana (Mischa Barton) and American girl living in Moscow Janie (Shantel VanSanten) who bond over their love of girl duo t.a.t.u. Lana dreams of being a model and writes lyrics influenced by t.a.t.u. Janie has a new Russian mum and gets by stealing her mother's drugs. They plan to meet each other at the t.a.t.u concert in Moscow, but when they get there, it turns out the tickets are fake. So, they go looking for a party and end up at one where they meet dodgy boy band promoter Ian (Charlie Creed-Miles) and one of the band members Dima (Alex Kaluzhsky) who introduces them to famous fashion mogul Edvard (Anton Yelchin, honing his Chekov) and the party life. Things are about to go awry as they taste the high life. Janie gets hooked on heroin and Lana gets sent up to jail (which bizarrely looks like the same place she works...). But, there's a surprise in store for Lana and Janie and it involves t.a.t.u. Filmed (and possibly finished) in 2007, so much so it's final 2011 release has an 'Introducing Shantel VanSanten' even though The Final Destination was her first film released, You and I is pretty much and sex and shoot 'em up drugs film that was promised, but is downright laughable at every turn, which is exactly what I wanted. I can't decide what was more laughable in the film, a YouTube video with no hits becoming the worldwide sensation hit that t.a.t.u was looking for, Bronson Pinchot bizarrely cold cameo, Edvard 'leaving' the girls alone so they can have a lesbian affair in his bed, Lana thinking of coming a whore, Lana going to jail for a trumped up public nuisance charge after the son of local 'entrepreneur' who has a thing for her has his chance of a recording contract snuffed out or the terrible singing he tries to get one with. Or, or, oh it's just all bad, but who cares, it's every bit as bad I hoped it would be and that's all I wanted. Or how Janie is found on the street by t.a.t.u's producer, even though he has no idea who she is...

Mischa Barton in You and I

Raw HD caps of Mischa in You and I are available here.

(1080HD - video link in image) 22548kb 20sec 1920x816 (bra)

(1080HD - video link in image) 77908kb 1min 09sec 1920x816 ('nude' under covers)

(1080HD - video link in image) 23192kb 20sec 1920x816 (breast falling out of shirt, sex scene covered)

(1080HD - video link in image) 165804kb 2min 28sec 1920x816 (Shantel VanSanten shows bum and side-boob, bra and G-string, Mischa in T-shirt and panties, girl-girl kissing, lengthy)

Shantel VanSanten in You and I

Raw HD caps of Shantel in You and I are available here.

(1080HD - video link in image) 40278kb 36sec 1920x816 (arms covering breasts, 'nude' but covered, side-boob in blouse)

Tags: Mischa Barton, Shantel VanSanten

27/03/2012

Update for 27 March...

Let's go to Britain for a horror film.

Demons Never Die is a slasher horror thriller about a group of students who get together online and chat. Called the Suicide Kids, each has their own problems and when one of the group apparently kills themselves, the group plans to kill themselves after a party held by Ashleigh (Shanika Warren-Markland). Archie (Robert Sheehan) has developed a thing for Jasmine (Jennie Jacques) and they finally get together, just as they are to kill themselves. Except, it seems some of the gang are killing themselves earlier than expected. But when Jasmine escapes a masked killer, they realise they are being targetted. And it all comes to a head at the party. Hmm... stock standard thriller here, nothing special and at times it's actually pretty ordinary. The idea of a suicide pact is handled in such a blasé way that it's hard to take this film seriously. And that's the problem, these people want to kill themselves, but they have a problem with being killed? Seriously? Bah! I only watched the film for Jennie Jacques, who I've espoused a liking to one this site a few times and she doesn't disappoint. Even the usually comical Robert Sheehan seems out of place here. And the killer? Who cares?

Jennie Jacques in Demons Never Die

Raw HD caps of Jennie available here.

142964kb 3min 27sec 1920x816 (breasts, bra and panties, sex scene, extremely lengthy)

Emma Rigby in Demons Never Die

28126kb 29sec 1920x816 (bra and panties)

Tulisa Contostavlos in Demons Never Die

62790kb 1min 20sec 1920x816 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top and shorts, upshorting)

Anara Atanes in Demons Never Die

24152kb 23sec 1920x816 (bra, brings out vibrator)

Tags: Jennie Jacques, Emma Rigby, Tulisa Contostavlos, Anara Atanes

25/03/2012

Update for 25 March...

OK, today a Chilean film set in Spain if that makes any sense.

199 Recetas Para Ser Feliz (199 Tips To Be Happy) is a dour relationship drama about a Chilean couple Tomás and Helena (Tamara Garea) who are currently living in Barcelona. Tomás is about to get a new job working on the advertising side of a book company while Helena is in between jobs after surgery for appendicitis. Helena gets a letter from Sandra (Andrea García-Huidobro), who was the girlfriend of her brother who recently died in a tragic diving accident. She is coming to Barcelona and is looking to meet her. The couple let Sandra stay with them, but she is about to change their relationship and not necessarily for the better. Tomás becomes obsessed with her and spends his days following her around and dreaming of having it off with her. Helena and Sandra also become closer and as the summer gets hotter, both Tomás and Helena want Sandra and it's not going to end well. Oh and Tomás is in charge of promoting a book called 199 Recetas Para Ser Feliz and Helena becomes a nude model. Oh boy, I found this film impossible to like. The characters are all incredibly selfish and do not care about their actions in the slightest. None of them are likable, which is fine, but it also means that I don't really give a shit when everything turns to shit. There's copious amounts of sex and nudity, which is great and all, but the film is torturous to watch. Bah!

And there's a large seamless collage of the panning scene with Tamara Garea which does an infinitely better job of expressing the scene than the video.

Tamara Garea in 199 Recetas Para Ser Feliz

71186kb 2min 21sec 1280x704 (breasts, side-boob, hair covering breasts, bare back, panties, lengthy)

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Tamara Garea and Andrea García-Huidobro in 199 Recetas Para Ser Feliz

74046kb 2min 29sec 1280x704 (Tamara shows full frontal and rear nudity, Andrea shows breasts and in wet panties possibly showing more, lengthy)

9364kb 18sec 1280x704 (breasts from both, Tamara in bra, girl-girl kissing)

162146kb 5min 18sec 1280x704 (Tamara shows full frontal and rear nudity and possibly bush from behind, Andrea shows breasts and bum, girl-girl kissing and sex scene, both women in separate sex scenes/threesome, extremely lengthy)

Andrea García-Huidobro in 199 Recetas Para Ser Feliz

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26618kb 52sec 1280x704 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top and panties)

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28950kb 59sec 1280x704 (braless in T-shirt and shorts, briefly fingered)

Alana Vandeweghe in 199 Recetas Para Ser Feliz

6290kb 15sec 1280x704 (full frontal and rear nudity, posing nude)

Tags: Tamara Garea, Andrea García-Huidobro, Alana Vandeweghe

23/03/2012

Update for 23 March...

OK, now that the issues are hopefully resolved, I can continue with the updates.

Cenizas Del Cielo is a Spanish drama about a Scottish travel writer who settles in a small Spanish town. There he meets the folks including Federico, a crusty old man obsessed with getting rid of the power station which is polluting the area. There also Tati (Beatriz Rico) and Mario who are desperate to have a baby and Cristina (Clara Segura), who is a struggling single mother/farmer. The writer falls in love with the place, it's people and with Cristina and it's going to take a lot for him to leave. OK little slice of life drama more about the characters than about anything in particular. And the characters are fun, particularly feisty Federico who is very passionate in everything he does. The ending is a bit trite, but the film is pleasant enough.

The site should be fully functional now, I've updated the search and comment sections. If you come across any issues, don't hesistate to contact me. Hopefully, I won't have anymore of the issues the were beginning to plague site. But, I predicted that this would happen a while back. Now, here's hoping there won't be any bandwidth/high load issues in the near future.

Clara Segura in Cenizas Del Cielo

11114kb 28sec 960x528 (breasts, brief bum, sex scene)

Beatriz Rico in Cenizas Del Cielo

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19164kb 51sec 960x528 (full frontal nudity from a distance, breasts, bum)

Raquel Hevia in Cenizas Del Cielo

12064kb 30sec 960x528 (breasts, bra)

13358kb 32sec 960x528 (bikini)

Tags: Clara Segura, Beatriz Rico, Raquel Hevia

15/03/2012

Update for 15 March...

Ah, it's time for a Spanish (well technically Colombian) film, it's been a while.

La Cara Oculta is a thriller about an up and coming Spanish conductor Adrian (Quim Gutiérrez) who has a major role in a orchestra in Colombia. He walks into a bar and starts drinking himself into depression, but a barmaid Fabiana (the gorgeous Martina García from Amar A Morir and Rabia) takes a shine to him and helps him out by taking him to her house to sleep it off. The next day, Adrian goes back to the bar and asks Fabiana back to his palatial country house where they begin an affair. The next morning, police come around and tell him the latest news on his missing girlfriend Belén (Clara Lago, also gorgeous, remember her awesome debut El Juego del Ahorcado), who seems to have disappeared off the face of the Earth. Adrian seems disappointed, but moves on with Fabiana and she makes herself comfortable in the house. But, strange things begin to happen. It sounds like someone is screaming through the plumbing and ghostly occurrences begin to freak Fabiana out. Has Belén being murdered or something else more bizarre. Look, I'm dancing around it, but the trailer gives away what happens to Belén (well, sort of), but who cares? La Cara Oculta is a solid thriller with an intriguing set-up, a neat twist or two and two gorgeous actresses with a decent helping of nudity (particularly the rather gratuitous stuff from Martina). Surely, this film will be up for a dicey PG-13 remake sooner rather than later.

Martina García in La Cara Oculta

Raw HD caps of Martina are available here .

(1080HD - link in image) 79866kb 1min 05sec 1920x816 (breasts, see-through bra, panties)

(1080HD - link in image) 128014kb 1min 44sec 1920x816 (full frontal nudity in bath, breasts, lengthy)

(1080HD - link in image) 70826kb 57sec 1920x816 (brief full frontal nudity, breasts, in shower, in towel)

(1080HD - link in image) 41942kb 34sec 1920x816 (breasts, see-through bra, panties, sex scene taken from behind)

(1080HD - link in image) 56352kb 46sec 1920x816 (full frontal nudity, in bath and shower)

Clara Lago in La Cara Oculta

Raw HD caps of Clara are available here.

(1080HD - link in image) 33854kb 27sec 1920x816 (breasts, bum)

(1080HD - link in image) 56308kb 49sec 1920x816 (plenty of cleavage in nightie)

(1080HD - link in image) 8864kb 12sec 1920x816 (breasts)

Tags: Martina García, Clara Lago

13/03/2012

Update for 13 March...

Over to America today.

Martha Marcy May Marlene is a drama about Martha (Elizabeth Olsen) who one day up and leaves the cult she has been staying at for the past two years. She calls her sister Lucy (Sarah Paulson) and she comes and gets her, but not without resistance from the cult. Lucy takes her to the lake house which she shares with her husband Ted (Hugh Dancy). But, the transition back into the every day world is not easy for Martha as the ways of the cult have become the only way she knows. She exhibits behaviour that continually shocks both Lucy and Ted and finds it hard to break her ways. And it may just have devastating consequences. A well made and intriguing film that blurs Martha's current state to her coinciding memories of being in the cult. The film is a great study about the effects of being a part of an abusive cult with Martha being shown as a submissive mess of a person to the point of being almost child-like. To be honest, I found her sister's and brother-in-law's rather conservative behaviour to be just as intriguing. They had no idea how to handle her at all and Martha's reaction to her sister wanting a baby possibly best sums up the whole situation.

Elizabeth Olsen in Martha Marcy May Marlene

Raw HD caps of Elizabeth available here.

82906kb 1min 01sec 1920x800 (in towel)

98258kb 1min 08sec 1920x800 (bum, side-boob, swimming naked in water, in towel)

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40892kb 35sec 1920x800 (side-boob, forced sex scene taken from behind)

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196664kb 2min 23sec 1920x800 (bikini, see-through T-shirt to bikini and denim shorts, nippy, lengthy)

177400kb 2min 27sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage in T-shirt, nippy, also upskirt to panties, submissive sex scene taken from behind also dark sex scene from Sarah Paulson, lengthy)

56008kb 55sec 1920x800 (extremely brief breasts bending over between legs, pissing herself)

21340kb 16sec 1920x800 (breasts, panties)

29516kb 27sec 1920x800 (bikini, mostly dark underwater)

Tags: Elizabeth Olsen

12/03/2012

Update for 12 March...

A couple of British films today.

Best Laid Plans is a drama about two friends, low rung crim Danny (Stephen Graham) and simple Joseph (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) who follows Danny around. Danny has gotten himself into a little trouble owing a local kingpin $10,000 and while being shook down by the kingpin, Joseph comes to his rescue, knocking out two goons very easily. This leads the kingpin to suggest to Danny that to help pay his debt, Joseph can get involved in some illegal cage fighting. But, Joseph is a gentle giant and will not have any of it, but Danny tricks him into it and Joseph seems to be quite good at it. At the same time, both men meet a lover, Danny with a prostitute Lisa (Emma Stansfield) and Joseph with another simple person Isabel (Maxine Peake). Things are about to spiral out of control for Danny as Joseph rises through the ranks and the kingpin wants Joseph for his own nefarious needs. Best Laid Plans is a solid drama, not perfect, particularly as though it seems that the makers want the two men to have lovers no matter what, but this is a drama isn't afraid to delve into the issues of simple people and handles them with some sensitivity. It ends in a pretty typical 'everything is too perfect' ending, but this film is a well worth a look.

Awaydays is an 80s set football hooligan drama about Carty (Nicky Bell), a young man working with his uncle, looking after his troubled sister Molly (Holliday Grainger) and obsessed with football and getting in with the local pack of football 'fans'. After impressing the leader of the pack (Stephen Graham again), he is allowed to travel with them to the games where basically they go to beat up other 'fans'. Over time he becomes more and more involved and things are about to get out of control, moreso after the death of the leader. Can he get out before he gets hurt. Oh, who cares... Why do I watch these football riot dramas? They attempt to make them about the down side of being involved, but it seems like there's a lot of upside to rioting as well. And that's fine, but they all turn out the same way for the most part and Awaydays doesn't stray. I will say that the soundtrack is pretty impressive, a lot better than the film deserves. At least it's not all disappointingly familiar.

Emma Stansfield in Best Laid Plans

Raw HD caps of Emma available here.

71220kb 1min 43sec 1920x816 (breasts, two sex scenes and a hand job, lengthy)

50852kb 1min 09sec 1920x816 (breasts, two sex scenes)

Rebecca Atkinson in Awaydays

26630kb 1min 05sec 960x528 (chemise and panties, nippy, sex scene taken from behind)

Samantha McCarthy in Awaydays

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Lianna Sorsa in Awaydays

12668kb 34sec 960x528 (lift up skirt to reveal panties, stockings)

Tags: Emma Stansfield, Rebecca Atkinson, Samantha McCarthy, Lianna Sorsa

11/03/2012

Update for 11 March...

Another new Australian film today.

Jucy is a comedy about two best friends Jackie (Cindy Nelson) and Lucy (Francesca Gasteen) who are about to have a rapture in their 'womance'. Both girls work at a video store in Brisbane and are active in the local amateur theatre group and seem to be just enamoured with the cast after party than the play itself. Jackie has a crush on Alex (Ryan Johnson), a dippy wannabe method actor but oh so handsome and when he comes with the news of a new play casting of Jane Eyre everything looks to be going great. Then Jackie goes off her meds. Then Alex goes off with another actress. And Lucy gets the lead. At the same time, Lucy is given an ultimatum by her sister to get her life together by first giving up acting, which she in no way wants to do. It about to get messy for this 'womance'. Alright, first off, I hate these new turns like BFF and 'bromance/womance' and all that other bullshit, so I probably should hate this film. But like the director's previous film, All My Friends Are Leaving Brisbane, in which most of the same people are involved in Jucy, it's a film that does it's darnedest to win you over. Jucy is not perfect, but is winning and fun and impossible to dismiss.

Cindy Nelson in Jucy

9274kb 23sec 960x544 (brief bra and panties, plenty of cleavage in singlet top, nippy)

11354kb 28sec 960x544 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top, shorts)

46114kb 1min 53sec 960x544 ('nude' but covered under towel, bra and panties, sex scene, lengthy)

62150kb 2min 31sec 960x544 (Cindy in bikini, Francesca Gasteen showing plenty of cleavage in singlet top and bikini bottoms, very lengthy)

Francesca Gasteen in Jucy

54296kb 2min 12sec 960x544 (plenty of cleavage in nice dress, lengthy)

Sarah Kennedy in Jucy

21328kb 53sec 960x544 (bum)

Tags: Cindy Nelson, Francesca Gasteen, Sarah Kennedy

06/03/2012

Update for 6 March...

A new Australian film today, they still make them right?

Roadman is a South Australian set drama about a serial killer Max (Travis McMahon), haunted by the memory of his abusive father and desperately wanting to stop killing. Across the road lives Lorraine (Georgii Speakman) who looks after her sick father and she takes a shine to Max. After some nervous moments, they fall in love and things take off, but both have issues that they must get over before they can make a full committment. So, Max stops the killing, well tries to and Lorraine's father dies meaning they can live together in his cottage in the country. But after an argument, Max goes out and attempts to kill a girl, but she gets away and things get out of control for Max. An OK little film that's pretty tight story wise, more drama than thriller with solid lead performances. And another shining advertisement for the state of South Australia...

Georgii Speakman in Roadman

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39956kb 1min 38sec 960x544 (side-boob, plenty of cleavage in singlet top, sex scene, lengthy)

14564kb 47sec 960x544 (bare back, in bath)

2540kb 12sec 960x544 (bare back in shower)

12246kb 1min 03sec 960x544 (nippy)

Tags: Georgii Speakman

05/03/2012

Australian Classics for 5 March...

First off, I hope you like the new digs. OK, it's pretty much the same, but now I have more resources which will hopefully mean that the site will not have bandwidth or resources issues. The move is still in progress and you'll find that some things will lead straight back to the old site (such as the search and comments), but all the collages and videos should be available. If not, tell me where and I'll fix it. The old site is still available for archive purposes, but will go down once my account runs out in about a year and I'll move the johnnymoronic.com address over. All new stuff will be posted at johnny-moronic.com.

Today, I'm going to burn off a few 'classic' Australian movies with only some quick videos and a quick series with collages. Also, some brief reviews.

Last update I promised a couple of Bruce Beresford films, so first up is the 1978 school girl drama The Getting of Wisdom about a country girl who is sent to a city boarding school, but is finding it hard to fit in until she makes up a story about having an affair with the new handsome priest. When found to be a fraud, she is ostracised by all, but becomes friendly with a socially connected teacher. You know, i shouldn't like this film, it is period dress after all, but it is a well-made and at times quite satirical look at life in an all-girl boarding school. And it has a slew of young Australian actresses who all went onto roles I've capped on this site. Just some brief side-boob action from Kerry Armstrong.

The next Bruce Beresford film is the 1980 Aussie Rules football drama The Club, reteaming with Don's Party writer David Williamson for a behind the scenes look at the boardroom machinations of the Collingwood Football Club during a premiership year. Not a bad film, but not as good Don's Party. The football scenes are OK, although it is obvious the inserts are from a different ground. Plus, they beat my side, the old Fitzroy, in the grand final and I can't abide by that. And Micky Conlan getting shown up twice. Bullshit! And great to see Rene Kink getting a decent role here, even though he drops the towel...

Next up is quick look at the no budget freaky horror movie DemonsAmongUs about a man moving to a country town just as demons invade the town and ravage various inhabitants. Not bad for a no budget film, has a few good ideas but seriously overstylised to the point of visual overload.

Moving Out is a 1983 drama about Gino (Vince Colosimo in his first role), who is an immigrant kid just trying to make through life but when he learns that he is moving to Dandenong to a bigger house like all the other 'wogs', he fears he is going to lose everything he has built up including his friends. Gee, this was a staple when I was in high school, remember it vividly, so rewatch after probably 2 decades, it still holds up quite well and Colosimo is really good on debut. He went on the make the very similar Street Hero a year later, with pretty much the same people plus a wasted Sigrid Thornton (um, I mean her role in the film wasn't big not what you're thinking...). Just a quick videos of various moment from the film of Desiree Smith is a short skirt not quite covering everything, which seemed to happen numerous times. Check out the guy perving up her skirt... And that great Aussie Rules related graffiti that even I remember from my youth.

Finally, another Paul Cox film, the 2000 elderly romance drama Innocence, during his Adelaide period (although some scenes are filmed in Melbourne and Belgium). Andreas (Bud Tingwell) and Claire (Julia Blake) were lovers many moons ago and after the death of his wife, Andreas contacts Claire to renew their friendship, but they become lovers again even though Claire is married, albeit in a loveless marriage. Interesting look at an elderly love affair although it strangely devolves into a very obvious ending. The requisite nudity in a Paul Cox film comes from Belgian actress Kristine Van Pellicom playing the younger Claire although their is a sex scene between the elderly lovers...

Kerry Armstrong in The Getting of Wisdom

63454kb 47sec 1920x1088 (side-boob)