Australian/New Zealand movies: 2002

A real drop off of Australian/New Zealand movies with nudity or just sexy scenes in them, both in number and quality and that's even after 2001 was a fairly weak year. There are decent scenes in Walking on Water, Garage Days and a bit of action from minor players in Trojan Warrior.

2002

Australian Rules

Racially-charged drama set in small town South Australia around the local Australian Rules football team. Blacky (Nathan Phillips) would rather read books than play footy but his strict father and coach forces him into it (Simon Westaway). He plays with his best friend, an Indigenous boy named Dumby Red (Luke Carroll) who's the best player in the team but is riddled with troubles including his propensity for committing crimes. Just as things are looking good for the team on the field, Dumby is involved in a botched burglary that ends in someone's death. Meanwhile, Blacky falls for Dumby's sister Clarence (Lisa Flanagan) which really pisses off his father. Solid drama with a heavy mix of the class differences between white and black people and how it effects the town while set around the fortunes of the footy team.

No nudity in Australian Rules but there's some collages and videos of Lisa Flanagan from the movie available here.

 

 

Blurred

Teen comedy set around Schoolies Week, a week (or so) where teenagers go to the Gold Coast to let off steam after finally finishing high school. Follows a number of groups, not necessarily high school students who are all heading to Schoolies Week. Being a while since I've seen it but I remember it not being that much of a comedy when it probably should've been closer to an American style party comedy. But instead it's wistful about things and more about couples getting together. Boring!

There's no nudity in Blurred but there's a few videos from the movie available here.

 

 

Cupid's Prey (NZ)

Thriller set in the US but made in New Zealand where grad student Rebecca (Katrina Browne) is invited by her boyfriend Matt (Glen Drake) to his family's estate to do some 'studying' and to meet his parents, Jeremy (Jack Wagner) and Iris (Joanna Pacula). They are very accommodating of her, in fact Jeremy wouldn't mind being with Rebecca and he gets the chance after she sees Matt flirting with another woman at a party. Rebecca stops Jeremy before their fling goes too far but Jeremy is persistent and a man with some sway at the university and uses it to get Rebecca a prime research position. This is soon rescinded when Rebecca continues to reject his advances then Jeremy tells her to not be involved with the family as Matt tries to woo her back. Then it is revealed that a housekeeper was murdered and Jeremy was suspected before a transient man was arrested. Jeremy can't help himself and still wants Rebecca so he continues to harass her and she is now frightened for her life. But is it Jeremy or someone else she must be more frightened of? Basically a made-for-TV movie with a little bit more sex than usual, nothing special, but watchable even with a ludicrous plot that sets up a silly twist at the end.

Both Katrina Browne and Julia Ryan briefly show their breasts.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Cupid's Prey here. A preview is below.

Katrina Browne in Cupid's Prey

    

 

Julia Ryan in Cupid's Prey

    
    

 

 

Dirty Deeds

Gangster thriller set in the 1970s where the Chicago Mafia decides to get a foothold in Sydney and sends out failing capo Tony (John Goodman) and his ambitious underling Sal (Felix Williamson) to sell their new poker machines to local kingpin Barry (Bryan Brown). Barry already runs the local clubs successfully and doesn't want anyone cutting in but knows that if he kills them, more will come and try to get rid of him. So Barry welcomes them tentatively. Meanwhile, Barry's nephew Darcy (Sam Worthington) has just finished a tour of Vietnam and Barry is looking to show him the ropes and one of his jobs is to keep an eye on Barry's mistress Margaret (Kestie Morassi) particularly away from Barry's wife Sharon (Toni Collette). That is proving harder than he thought when she shows an interest in him. Then there's Freddie (Gary Waddell) who wants Barry dead and after a failed attempt foiled by in-the-pocket detective Ray (Sam Neill), Freddie enlists Sal to help him thin out Barry's crew. All this comes to a head when Barry takes everyone out for a trip to the outback for some pig hunting and other fun while he goes about showing who's the boss of Sydney to those who undermine him. OK crime drama that plays light but is not really the comedy it is trying to be. Bryan Brown basically rehashes his great Two Hands character to some success but the plot is a bit of a mess and for a movie that has a budget over $10 million, it looks decidedly cheap at times, no more than a back alley car chase. Also not a memorable role for John Goodman either but he does have his moments when trying to convince Darcy of the virtues of a pizza.

No nudity in Dirty Deeds but there's a couple of sexy scenes featuring Kestie Morassi which I've made videos of below. My original collages are available here.

Kestie Morassi in Dirty Deeds

5974kb 21sec 960x400 (plenty of cleavage in T-shirt that is lifted up)

19142kb 1min 15sec 960x400 (plenty of cleavage in nightie, 'nude' under covers, down blouse/upskirt)

 

Garage Days

Comedy about a struggling garage band that is desperately trying to make it, not helped by a terrible first gig. But Freddy (Kick Gurry) is delusionally confident about his and his band's ability so he attempts to get the attention of big time manager Shad Kern (Marton Csokas). Meanwhile, Freddy is having issues with his long term girlfriend and bandmate Tanya (Pia Miranda) for being a bad lover while something clicks between Freddy and Kate (Maya Stange) just as she realises she's pregnant with her boyfriend Joe's (Brett Stiller) baby. Joe has problems of his own with a psychotic goth stalker Angie (Yvette Duncan) he's fallen for. Just as Freddy manages to get Shad's attention, something happens to blow their chance but Freddy will stop at nothing to get their break and thanks to their manager Bruno (Russell Dykstra) they get will play at The Big Day Out, legally or not. Silly movie, a strange diversion for big ideas sci-fi/horror director Alex Proyas and turns in a baffling mix of broad comedy and oddly dark drama. Gurry is well cast as the delusional Freddy and always seems to be having fun but the movie just never settles on what it wants to be: a comedy or a dark drama about the vagueries of being a band.

Nudity from Pia Miranda, Yvette Duncan and Natalie Jain.

You can find a synopsis with collages and HD videos from Garage Days here. A preview is below.

Pia Miranda in Garage Days

    
    

 

Yvette Duncan in Garage Days

    
    

 

Natalie Jain in Garage Days

    
    
    

 

 

Guru Wayne

Wacky comedy with most of Melbourne's comedy scene turning up in cameos. David (Todd MacDonald) is unsuccessfully attempting to start a PHD when he comes across a scam guru/drug dealer who is getting a lot of attention. After seeing the guru in action with his frigid girlfriend Debbie (Jessica Gower), David hatches a plan with his mate Garry (Fletcher Humphrys) to start a cult of their own to prove that it's all a scam although Garry is only doing it to make a lot of money through drug dealing. Things get going quickly as David is fairly convincing as a guru but the drug side gets the attention of the police so they send in undercover cop Jane (Jane Allsop basically playing her Blue Heelers character) to get to the bottom of it. But David instantly falls for her and Jane reciprocates even while she continues investigating his scam cult. David gets really into being a guru and actually wants to do good but Garry and his scumbag mates are going to bring down the good that David is doing, especially when the police start to sniff around Garry's mates. Average comedy that goes after a well-worn and obvious target and drowns in cameos that few outside of Melbourne would even recognise. David is an interesting character and if the movie was more about him and Jane it might've made a better romantic comedy but the drug plot takes over and all the comedy evaporates. At least the movie is better than those terrible 80s Melbourne comedies made by comedians.

No nudity in Guru Wayne but there's a few sexy videos from the movie below.

Jessica Gower in Guru Wayne

804kb 3sec 960x544 (plenty of cleavage in nightie, sex scene)

3820kb 11sec 960x544 (plenty of cleavage in midriff revealing top also another woman in bikini)

 

Kristie Jandric in Guru Wayne

8682kb 29sec 960x544 (hair over breasts/implied nudity)

 

The Hard Word

Crime thriller about the Twentyman brothers - Dale (Guy Pearce), Shane (Joel Edgerton) and Mal (Damien Richardson) - who are locked up in Sydney's Long Bay Prison together for robbery and are used by various police-backed lowlifes to perform robberies in return for a bit of money and certain prison privileges. A bunch of corrupt cops have a proposition for them: a multi-million dollar robbery in Melbourne which they accept but they hatch a plan of their own to stay out of jail. Except things go wrong from the beginning as it turns out they are robbing bookies on Melbourne Cup Day, the biggest betting day of the year. Also the bent cops have sent along two nasty pieces of work to help out, with the intention of offing the Twentyman brothers afterwards. Then there's Dale's girlfriend Carol (Rachel Griffiths) and her new lover, a shonky lawyer who want their share of the robbery. A well made film with solid performances from a pretty decent cast, an interesting vibe (including the use of butcher's slang) which make the film an enjoyable watch. Strangely the only movie the director ever made.

Nudity from Rhondda Findleton and Leanne McCulloch.

You can find a synopsis with collages and HD videos from The Hard Word here. A preview is below.

Rhondda Findleton in The Hard Word

    

 

Leanne McCulloch in The Hard Word

    
    

 

 

Queen of the Damned

Mostly Melbourne-shot adaptation of an Anne Rice novel. The vampire Lestat (Stuart Townsend - what happened to him?) is awoken by the sound of a nu-metal band playing near his tomb but instead of eating them alive, he decides he wants to be their front man and all the pleasures that come with it which are plentiful when they become a huge hit. Meanwhile in London, a vampire researcher Jesse (Marguerite Moreau) is introduced to Lestat's diaries by her boss (Paul McGann) in a hope to stop her further inquiries about Lestat but this only fuels them to the point that she wants him to turn her vampire. Meanwhile Marius (Vincent Perez) is awoken by Lestat's lust for everything and is alarmed when Lestat plugs into Akasha (Aaliyah), the queen of all vampires and wakes her. And she wants it all and convinces Lestat to come with her until he realises she offers nothing but devastation. So it's up to Jesse's long lost mother Maharet (Lena Olin) and her band of fellow vampires to stop Akasha before the devastation happens. OK vampire thriller, Townsend is pretty good while Aaliyah is also good in a small (and final) role. It is pretty funny that Lestat is brought to life by the sounds of nu-metal which absolutely dates this movie horrendously.

No nudity in Queen of the Damned but there's some videos from the movie below.

Aaliyah in Queen of the Damned

166421kb 3min 58sec 1920x800 (plenty of cleavage in bra top, extremely lengthy)

 

Nicole Fantl in Queen of the Damned

92266kb 1min 47sec 1920x800 (Nicole in see-through top to bra, Alyssa McClelland shows plenty of cleavage and in short skirt, lengthy)

 

 

Radio Samurai

Movie made between 1999-2006 but somehow it gets a 2002 date; no idea why. Low budget comedy where a radio presenter Gene Roseberry (Stuart Orr) is sacked after making one too many pranks but is given one more episode to finish up. He decides to go big with a radio play and gets the help of his feminist writer girlfriend Alison (Joanna MacKay) and sleazy best friend John (Nathan Hill) who have just hooked up without the radio presenter's knowledge. Things are looking bad particularly with his replacement Randy (Thomas Caldwell) more than willing to humiliate him but Gene decides to go ahead with his flimsy plan and hope for the best. Silly movie with a ridiculous central love triangle which bogs the movie down for the most part. The comedy is particularly nonexistent and it's low budget causes all sort of problems with the plot while the ending is incredibly limp. Does have a cameo from Brooke Satchwell who seems a class above this. A struggler.

Brief nudity from Debbie Griffiths who flashes her breasts to distract a presenter.

You can find a synopsis with videos from Radio Samurai here. A preview is below.

Debbie Griffiths in Radio Samurai

    
    

 

 

The Road from Coorain

Adaptation of the autobiographical book by Jill Ker Conway about her struggles to break free from her family home. Or something, I don't remember much about it.

Brief nudity from Katherine Slattery and British actress Juliet Stevenson.

You can find a synopsis with videos from The Road from Coorain here. A preview is below.

Katherine Slattery in The Road from Coorain

    

 

Juliet Stevenson in The Road from Coorain

    

 

 

Seconds to Spare

Channel 9 telemovie that imported Antonio Sabato Jr. for this thriller about a terrorist who hijacks a train and threatens to blow it up if he isn't paid a ransom. Or something...

No nudity in Seconds to Spare but there's a video of Kate Beahan in a bathing suit from the movie available here.

 

 

Secret Bridesmaids' Business

ABC telemovie adaptation of a popular local play about the hours before Meg (Helen Dallimore) is getting married to James (Vince Colosimo). She spends most of her time getting ready and enjoying herself with her bridesmaids Angela (Rebecca Frith) and Lucy (Sacha Horler). Over the day, fun is had and secrets are revealed including a big one involving Meg's sister Naomi (Alice McConnell) which threatens to derail Meg's wedding. One for the ladies and pretty much just a filmed play.

No nudity in Secret Bridesmaids' Business but I've made a few videos from the movie which are available below.

Helen Dallimore in Secret Bridesmaids' Business

35870kb 2min 11sec 960x544 (plenty of cleavage in gown/nice dress, down blouses, lengthy)

 

Helen Dallimore, Rebecca Frith and Sacha Horler in Secret Bridesmaids' Business

55586kb 3min 10sec 960x544 (all 'nude' in spa bath, Helen and Rebecca in towels, extremely lengthy)

 

Alice McConnell in Secret Bridesmaids' Business

6326kb 20sec 960x544 (see-through petticoat to bra and panties)

 

 

Till Human Voices Wake Us

Drama that follows two teenage friends Sam and Silvy (Brooke Harman) who live in a small country town in Victoria. Silvy needs to use calipers to walk and on the day of the local dance, Sam takes Silvy to the river and they both get in the water and after a momentary lapse, Sam loses Silvy and she disappears assumed drowned. Years later Sam (Guy Pearce) now teaches in a university in Melbourne but when his father dies, he comes back to his home town for the funeral. On his way there, he spots a woman struggling in the river during a storm and he saves her. Calling herself Ruby (Helena Bonham Carter), she fascinates Sam as she reminds him very much of Silvy and over the next day he spends as much time with Ruby as he can to get back what he once had. But is she really SIlvy or even real? After an interesting start, the movie gets mired down with the late plot twist which is far too obvious and predictable and not anywhere near as interesting. Apparently, this film was recut for American release and is told in flashback, but I don't think it would fix the predictability of the plot

Brief nudity from Helena Bonham Carter.

You can find a synopsis with videos from Till Human Voices Wake Us here. A preview is below.

Helena Bonham Carter in Till Human Voices Wake Us

    

 

 

To Become One

Low budget master Neil Johnson returns with a bizarre hybrid movie. Melinda (Emma Grasso) enjoys life and she and her friends live a life of petty thievery. All of a sudden her life is turned upside down by a killer in a gas mask who is killing her family and friend one-by-one until they get to her. In a tussle, she overpowers the killer and unmasks him and he tells her that he's her brother Michael (Jay Gallagher). Reeling from the revelation, Melinda is taken by Michael and she wakes up in a makeshift hospital and finds herself joined to Michael. Turns out they were conjoined twins that were separated at birth and Michael wants to be back with her. And he's enlisted the help of cultish mad doctor Hatcher (David Vallon) to help realise it. Melinda is stunned and tries to find a way to not only remove herself from the binds to Michael but to get away from the hell she is in. Feels like two movies in one and neither make a whole lot of sense, even less when they are joined together. Why does Michael need to kill everyone? Can't he just kidnap Melinda? The motives for everything make little sense then some of the so-called dead reappear later in the movie. An absolute mess.

No nudity in To Become One but there's a few videos from the movie below.

Emma Grasso in To Become One

3926kb 14sec 752x568 (bra)

10696kb 49sec 752x568 (bra)

 

Izumi Pennicott in To Become One

6040kb 25sec 752x568 (bra and panties)

9934kb 1min 752x568 (Izumi in bra, girl-girl kisses)

 

Cherry Lefevre and Penni Conlan in To Become One

2298kb 8sec 752x568 (one woman in bikini, another in one piece bathing suit)

 

 

Tongan Ninja (NZ)

Parody of dubbed Hong Kong movies particularly Bruce Lee movies. As a kid, Sione and friend Marvin survive a plane crash on Tonga and are forced to join a martial arts camp on the island after Sione's father is eaten by piranhas. Years later, Sione the Tongan Ninja (Sam Manu) is sent to Wellington to help Miss Lee (Linda Tseng), the owner of a Chinese restaurant that is being harassed by gangsters sent by Mr. Big (Victor Rodger). The Tongan Ninja dispatches all foes and wins the heart of Miss Lee but he is haunted by one enemy Action Fighter aka Marvin (Jemaine Clement) who has never forgiven the Tongan Ninja for how his life has become. And he's arrived in Wellington looking for revenge. Somewhat funny parody of Bruce Lee movies with the plot basically the exact same as The Way of the Dragon plus there's musical interludes from early stage Flight of the Conchords and all sorts of silly cultural references. Not bad.

No nudity in Tongan Ninja but there's a sexy scene featuring Linda Tseng which is available below.

Linda Tseng in Tongan Ninja

17784kb 59sec 960x544 (plenty of cleavage in slip, 'nude' under covers)

 

Toy Love (NZ)

Chaotic romantic comedy where Ben (Dean O'Gorman) sees Chlo (Kate Elliott) at a bar and tries to pick her up but fails miserably so he asks her to start again only for another man Jim (Peter Feeney) to cut in. Ben has a go at him and they tussle and they both get kicked out. As Ben leaves, he comes across Jim and his buddies who see him and chase after him. As he runs, he sees Chlo in a taxi who helps him escape. They go to his house where he lives with his girlfriend Emily (Marissa Stott) and he introduces Chlo as his casting agent for an ad he's about to shoot. They fool around in the bathroom then Chlo leaves possibly never to be seen again. Turns out Ben narrowly avoided finding out that Emily is in love with mechanic Francois (Michael Lawrence) and she's cheating on Ben with him. The next day, Ben picks up Nancy (Genevieve McClean) and they go to her house but she loses interest. Ben hears someone nearby spying on them and goes to check who it is and it's Chlo. This begins an anarchic, wacky journey where we'll see whether Ben and Chlo get together which goes to many ridiculous places with no real clear path as to where it's going almost like it was made up as they filming it. Chlo is so unpredictable that she's hard to pin down, she's like the ultimate manic pixie dream girl. Ben flits between Chlo and Emily although this is probably the only predictable thing in the movie as you know where Ben's going to end up. It's a hectic movie that bounces from one wacky moment to another so you'll either find it a lot of fun or completely silly.

No nudity in Toy Love but there's a few videos from the movie available here.

 

Trojan Warrior
aka Kick to the Head

Australia's turn at a martial arts parody. A bag man for the mob Theo (Arthur Angel) decides to testify against a local kingpin which causes the kingpin to put out a contract on Theo's life that every low-life scumbag in Melbourne wants. Theo is a fool but he has one ally in his cousin Ajax (kickboxing champion Stan 'The Man' Longinidis) who keeps him alive as the neverending assault of comical low-life scumbags and corrupt cops attempt to get the reward. Written by mysterious local Melbourne identity Headley Gritter (who was also involved in the terrible Dead End), it's chock full of local identities, so many Aussie Rules footballers including Mark 'Jacko' Jackson and bafflingly Chopper Read playing a character named Eric Bana??? The plot is completely ridiculous and the comedy barely registers but if you're into it's style of silliness and don't mind hearing The Masters Apprentices 'Turn Up Your Radio' a million times (the lead singer has a cameo, of course!) you might like it. But it's pretty bad in an almost enjoyable way.

Nudity from Julianne Armstrong, Rosey Kevekordes and a number of anonymous women.

You can find a synopsis with videos from Trojan Warrior here. A preview is below.

Julianne Armstrong in Trojan Warrior

    
    

 

Rosey Kevekordes in Trojan Warrior

    
    
    
    
    

 

Unknowns in Trojan Warrior

    

 

 

Walking on Water

Heavy drama where friends and family gather to see Gavin die by euthanasia after a long battle with the HIV virus. This includes friends/housemates Charlie (Vince Colosimo) and Anna (Maria Theodorakis), Charlie's lover Frank (Nic Bishop), Gavin's mother (Judi Farr), brother Simon (Nathaniel Dean) and Simon's wife Kate (Anna Lise Phillips). But Gavin doesn't go so smoothly and Charlie 'finishes' him off which will haunt him over the coming days. He and Frank also start to have issues. But he's not the only one that struggles with Gavin's death. Anna starts drinking heavily, doing everything around the house and has a fling with Simon. No-one seems to be handling Gavin's death well and maybe a change of scenery will help Charlie and Anna get through it. Dark drama about the struggle of grief that is full of big performances particularly from Colosimo and Theodorakis but are helped with some great material to work with. But it is heavy going all the way.

Maria Theodorakis shows her breasts in a couple of scenes.

I've redone a video from the movie in slightly better quality than the one that was available. You can find previous collages from Walking on Water here.

Maria Theodorakis in Walking on Water

    

27402kb 1min 32sec 960x512 (breasts, see-through bra, skirt, panties taken off, sex scenes including getting eaten out, lengthy)

 

Quite a number of movies had nothing to cap for this year including the bizarre Steve Irwin movie The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course, Bill Bennett's mining buddy comedy The Nugget, funny lawn bowls comedy Crackerjack, romantic comedies The Real Thing and Searching for Mr Right.Com, Indigenous dramas Beneath Clouds, courtroom drama Black and White, Phillip Noyce's Rabbit-Proof Fence and Rolf de Heer's The Tracker, horror movies Reign in Darkness and Guardian, light comedy Tempe Tip, social drama short New Skin, satire Crazy Richard, American TV co-production Disappearance and made in China martial arts action movie Warriors of Virtue: The Return to Tao where New Zealand actor Kevin Smith was killed in a stunt gone wrong.

There's also no nudity in the New Zealand movies Whale Rider, sci-fi thriller The Vector File and kids movie The Legend of Johnny Lingo.

I wasn't able to find the following movies: Avoca, BloodSports, Como Fue: A Story of Tina Modotti, Eloise, Finding Joy, Hey Sista!, In Blood, Issues, The Killbillies, The Merchant of Fairness (but has a classification that includes sex scenes), My Little Brother's a Vampire, The Silence of Angels, Signs of Life, Something About AJ, Sway, Teesh and Trude (although I have watched this and don't remember anything to cap) and ZTS: State of Entropy. I've watched the telemovie Heroes' Mountain that doesn't have any nudity but has a brief bathing suit scene which I was hoping to cap but couldn't find my better quality copy of it. I'll fix that when I find it. As far as I know there's no further New Zealand movies.

If 2002 was a light year for movies to cap, 2003 is a return to form which will probably need 3 updates to complete.

 

Tags: Kestie Morassi, Jessica Gower, Kristie Jandric, Aaliyah, Nicole Fantl, Helen Dallimore, Rebecca Frith, Sacha Horler, Alice McConnell, Emma Grasso, Izumi Pennicott, Cherry Lefevre, Penni Conlan, Linda Tseng, Maria Theodorakis