Australian/New Zealand movies: 1982

It really picks up in 1982 with a lot more movies being made thanks to the 10BA tax credit. Which is great for something to watch but it also means that the quality of the movies made take a significant drop in quality in some cases with movies clearly being made to cash in. That's not to say there's some good movies being made, there's just a wider gap in quality now,

With the amount of movies made, I've decided to split the 1982 update into two parts.

1982

Airhawk: Star of the North

Silly little telemovie about a pair of pilot brothers who go on-the-run with their girlfriends from an unknown group of crooks who want them dead for some reason. Turns out one of the brothers is involved in diamond smuggling but it takes an eternity to find this out but not nearly as long as the crooks waiting to go after them in a remote house they have cornered. There's one baffling scene where someone takes pot shots at them from a plane while they on top of a building. Then it ends in the most bizarre way possible with the diamond smuggler being killed but not by the crooks and for the most ridiculous of reasons.

No nudity but a swimsuit scene featuring Louise Howitt and Elli Maclure.

Louise Howitt and Elli Maclure in Airhawk: Star of the North

16181kb 58sec 696x536 (both in one piece bathing suits)

 

 

Breakfast in Paris

Another year, another John D. Lamond movie, this time a tepid comedy/drama about a career woman (Valley of the Dolls star Barbara Parkins) who goes to Paris for work and comes across the most annoying person she's ever met on the plane, a photographer (Rod Mullinar) who tries to get with her in Paris. She finally relents but then he doesn't fit into her busy lifestyle and the movie turns into a will they/won't they melodrama. For a movie mostly set in Paris is sure does look like Melbourne.

Some brief nudity from Barbara Parkins while in bed.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Breakfast in Paris here. A preview is below.

Barbara Parkins in Breakfast in Paris

   
   
   

 

 

Brothers (Aus/NZ)

Terry Bourke tries a more dramatic, slightly less sleazy movie and still can't help himself. After two journalist brothers survive a massacre in Timor (based on a real life massacre), both brothers go their separate ways with one brother Adam (Chard Hayward) continuing on as a photographer in war zones while Kevin (Ivar Kants) moves to New Zealand and has shacked up with a rather staid woman (Alyson Best in her least sexiest role ever). They catch-up after 4 years but both have changed dramatically and PTSD has affected the both of them. Bourke is out-of-his-depth with the more serious material and there's a final scene so out-of-place in the movie it seems to be there so that Bourke can do at least one crazy scene.

Some brief nudity from Jennifer Cluff and Margaret Laurence behind a shower screen.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Brothers here. A preview is below.

Jennifer Cluff in Brothers

   

 

Margaret Laurence in Brothers

   

 

 

Carry Me Back (NZ)

Comedy about two useless brothers (Goodbye Pork Pie's Kelly Johnson and Middle Age Spread's Grant Tilly) who travel with their farmer father to the big rugby game and stay overnight in town only to find their father dead in his bed. The brothers work out that they can only inherit the farm if their father dies on the farm so they hatch a plan with their aunty (Dorothy McKegg) to smuggle him back home without anyone finding out. But every way they try ends in a new problem. Silly but quite funny movie as the antics get more wacky the closer they get to home.

Both Angelique Meyer (as a stripper) and Katy Platt (as the 'exotic' masseuse) are nude in the movie.

Angelique Meyer in Carry Me Back

14562kb 53sec 1280x720 (breasts, brief bum, jockstrap)

 

Katy Platt in Carry Me Back

12101kb 48sec 1280x720 (breasts, in towel)

 

 

The Clinic

Mild ensemble comedy set over one day in a Melbourne sexual health clinic where everything happens. There's the seen-it-all staff who go through the motions of another day. There's a doctor (Simon Burke) on his first day who is very reluctant to be there but learns a valuable lesson. There's the various patients including the man reluctant about his issues, the man who loses his job because he has an STI then kills himself. A lot of little vignettes that are never really that funny but it's not all that bad.

Some brief nudity from Terrie Sinclair as one of the patients.

Terrie Sinclair in The Clinic

2014kb 8sec 720x544 (brief bum and panties)

 

 

Crosstalk

Rear Window knock-off where the voyeur is actually a computer. The computer's creator Ed (Gary Day) is left disabled in an accident where his brakes are cut in his car but he tries to finish the program. Then the computer sees a murder and attempts to get the attention of Ed and his nurse (Kim Deacon). The Rear Window formula is pretty solid and this is an interesting twist on that.

No nudity in the movie but you can find a synopsis with videos from Crosstalk here. Sadly the VHS rip is poorly framed but there's an upcoming Bluray which will hopefully rectify this.

 

 

A Dangerous Summer
aka Flash Fire

Thriller involving the shonky dealings with an insurance company who go after a developer (American actor Tom Skeritt) and anyone who gets in his way. Meanwhile an insurance investigator (James Mason in one of his last roles) attempts to find out what is going on. Or something. The movie makes no sense while being completely predictable and has a story not worth watching. A movie that most involved will reject being involved in.

Some fairly sleazy nudity from Wendy Hughes (who's completely wasted here) and Kim Deacon, just like they both did in the previous year's Hoodwink.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from A Dangerous Summer here. A preview is below.

Wendy Hughes in A Dangerous Summer

   
   
   

 

Kim Deacon in A Dangerous Summer

   
   

 

 

Daphne and Chloe (NZ)

60 minute drama about two middle aged best friends (Helena Ross and Joy Watson) who works at an office where a new young man (Michael Hurst) joins the staff. One of the women and the young man take a liking to one another and eventually fall in love while the office gets all gossipy about it and her friend feels left out. But things don't go to plan and it ends badly and the woman doesn't take it well. Pretty basic stuff.

Some brief nudity from Helena Ross as she goes for a nude swim.

Helena Ross in Daphne and Chloe

8087kb 29sec 640x480 (bum)

 

 

The Dark Room

Stalker thriller where a fey young arts student takes a liking to a wannabe actress (Anna Maria Monticelli) that becomes obsessive and it turns out it is because the actress is having an affair with his father and he wants her all for himself. Pretty standard stalker thriller that's extremely obscure now.

A couple of brief nude scenes from Anna Maria Monticelli plus a wet see-through dress scene.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from The Dark Room here. A preview is below.

Anna Maria Monticell in The Dark Room

   
   

 

 

Dead Easy

Kings Cross-set thriller where a wannabe entrepreneur (Scott Burgess) meets a sex worker (Rosemary Paul) and wants to make her a star at a club he's trying to get up and running. But there's a number of things standing in his way then he eventually falls for her. 80 minute movie that has a lot going on apart from the main plot already mentioned.

Some nudity from Rosemarie Paul plus some scenes where she's in a see-through top plus some brief nudity from Helena Hampton.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Dead Easy here. A preview is below.

Rosemarie Paul in Dead Easy

   
   

 

Helena Hampton in Dead Easy

   

 

 

Desolation Angels
aka Fair Game

Stalk and chase thriller where three teenage girls who are off to party after their final exams get run off the road by a couple of panel vans and they barely escape only to find that where they're are going is also where the panel vans are going. Meanwhile a woman working for a bookie also arrives in town and then all of them are stalked by seemingly everyone in town. Hostile and hateful movie where all the men are psychos and absolutely no-one has anything redeeming about them.

A couple of brief nude scenes from centrefold model Karen West.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Desolation Angels here. A preview is below.

Karen West in Desolation Angels

   
   

 

 

Early Frost

Seedy potboiler set in Sydney where middle-aged women are getting bumped off and dragged into their pools. The next victim seems to be Val Meadows (Diana McLean) who is electrocuted but somehow survives and ends up blaming her shiftless son (Jon Blake on debut). A private detective looks into the killings and finds out that Val was supposed to be next but who is the killer? A completely baffling movie that may not even give away the killer, only mentions Val's eventual death in a newspaper clipping and quite possibly was not even finished which would explain why there's no credited director. Ah the 10BA come up with some absolute shockers...

Some brief nudity from Diana McLean as she is interrupted during sex by her son.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Early Frost here. A preview is below.

Diana McLean in Early Frost

   

 

 

Far East

Philippines-set political thriller where an Australian bar owner (Bryan Brown) is introduced to investigative journalist (John Bell) and his French-accented lover (Helen Morse) who has a past with the bar owner. They get back together but when the journalist is arrested for digging too deep into how the local factories are run, the bar owner is asked to help get him out using his local connections but decides to do all the dirty work himself. Another solid John Duigan movie, basically an 'unofficial' remake of Casablanca helped by re-teaming Brown and Morse from the hit mini-series A Town Like Alice.

No nudity in Far East but there are a few sexy videos from the movie which can be found here.

 

 

Freedom

Jon 'Sonny' Blake's first starring role as young man who steals his dream car, a Porsche 911, and goes on the run. Along the way he meets a young woman (Jad Capelja, whose only other movie was Puberty Blues) and they go off together doing things that she wants to do. Eventually the police catch up to them and the man does his best to avoid them eventually driving into oblivion. That's basically the movie, little plot just enjoying the ride and while there's not much to say about it, the movie is never boring.

Jad Capelja briefly shows her breasts in one scene.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Freedom here. A preview is below.

Jad Capelja in Freedom

   

 

That's about half of the movies for 1982. Pretty much all of the terrible movies of 1982 are in this update and things gets a little better in the next update which will hopefully be on Sunday.

The second half of the movies 'released' in 1982. You can probably tell which movies I've watched in the last week or so (usually they have videos accompanying them and having more florid descriptions) and the movies I haven't watched in more than decade and am working off my synopses I wrote at the time to remind myself. It's about half-and-half in this update.

 

Heatwave

The second of the movies based on the true story of people dying mysteriously in their home just as developers are trying to acquire their harbour front properties (first being The Killing of Angel Street). This time Judy Davis plays an independent journalist looking into the mysterious deaths of the locals in their homes and the closer she gets, the more danger she is in. Directed by Phillip Noyce, who was notoriously picky early in his career, this movie is driven by a typically great Judy Davis and veers a lot closer to what actually happened. Definitely the better of the similar movies.

Judy Davis briefly shows her breasts after sex while Gillian Jones shows her breasts and is in a G-string while playing a stripper.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Heatwave here. A preview is below.

Judy Davis in Heatwave

   

 

Gillian Jones in Heatwave

  
  
  

 

 

The Little Feller
aka The Other Woman

Brisbane-set stalker thriller where best friends Wendy (Lorna Lesley) and Glenda (Sally Conabere) do everything together and Wendy even lets Glenda mind her young son. Then Glenda spies Frank (Steve Bisley) in his cut-offs while doing repairs around the house and she completely loses her shit and obsessively goes after him. Her behaviour becomes incredibly erratic even accusing Frank of raping her but strangely the three patch things up. Except Glenda absolutely wants Frank and she tries to kill Wendy by electrocuting her then she takes their young son and behaves as if she's helping them get the boy back. Over-the-top stalker thriller, not too far removed from the dime-a-dozen Hallmark thrillers and boy does Sally Conabere lean into the nuttiness.

No nudity in the movie but a few sexy scenes featuring Sally Conabere plus Lorna Lesley in a bra. I don't think there's going to be a high quality upgrade of this movie ever but I'd love to see that incredibly dark scene with Sally in better quality.

Sally Conabere in The Little Feller

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30796kb 1min 55sec 744x568 (wet bra and panties, lengthy)

 

Lorna Lesley in The Little Feller

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13702kb 47sec 744x568 ('nude' under covers)

 

 

Lonely Hearts

Paul Cox directed light comedy about a 50-something mother's boy Peter (Norman Kaye) who's mother just died so he's decided to finally get a girlfriend by signing up to a dating service who gets him 'someone special' in the younger, shy but also attached to her parents Patricia (Wendy Hughes). They hit it off and everything seems to be going well including Peter getting Patricia into acting in an amateur theatrical production but when they attempt to have sex and it freaks Patricia out and their relationship becomes strained. Peter doesn't handled it well and he ends up getting in trouble with the law. Written by comic great John Clarke, it's a rare dive into comedy for Cox and it's ends up being one of his best and most accessible movies. Kaye and Hughes are great and so are the supporting characters.

Wendy Hughes very briefly shows her breasts after she withdraws from sex. Hughes is on an absolute run with 5 consecutive movies with nudity (Two with blink and you'll miss nudity but it's there). It'll be interrupted by next year's Careful, He Might Hear You.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Lonely Hearts here. A preview is below.

Wendy Hughes in Lonely Hearts

   

 

 

Monkey Grip

Melbourne-set, Sydney-shot drama based on the book by popular author Helen Garner where we follow Nora (Noni Hazlehurst) as she tries to bring up her teen daughter while starting a new relationship with the unreliable drug addict Javo (Colin Friels). She's also helping The Divinyls become big time (what a coup that they hit it big just as the movie was released!). The relationship between Nora and Javo becomes intense even with his issues. A pretty decent movie led by it's two leads particularly Hazlehurst in her first lead role.

Extensive nudity from Noni Hazlehurst throughout the movie.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Monkey Grip here. A preview is below.

Noni Hazlehurst in Monkey Grip

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

 

 

Next of Kin

Oddball, visually-appealing horror thriller about a woman (Jackie Kerin) who returns to the retirement home which her mother ran until she died. The remaining old people start getting knocked off which strangely follow events detailed in her deceased mother's diary. She becomes convinced someone is killing the old people but no-one, not even her boyfriend (John Jarrett) believes her. Surprisingly decent movie with little unexpected touches and a not unsubtle Shining influence.

Brief nudity from Jackie Kerin.

You can find a synopsis with collages and HD videos from Next of KIn here. A preview is below.

Jackie Kerin in Next of Kin

   

 

 

The Pirate Movie

Nobody told me this was a musical... I thought it was going to be a swashbuckling lark but no, it's an incredibly annoying low-rent Pirates of Penzance knock-off, the vanity project of one of its stars Ted Hamilton. Basically, a dowdy young girl (Kristy McNichol) dreams the most uninteresting story about trying to get with handsome young devil (Christopher Atkins) while over-the-top musical numbers and bad comedy ring out. Funnily enough it was mostly shot on the Melbourne-based Polly Woodside where I left my jumper around the time they were filming this movie. I hope they found it...

No nudity but some brief sexy stuff from Kristy McNichol plus some bathing suit action from a number of women.

Kristy McNichol in The Pirate Movie

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9235kb 28sec 852x466 (plenty of cleavage in corsetry)

 

Linda Nagle, Rhonda Burchmore and Kate Ferguson in The Pirate Movie

39399kb 2min 02sec 852x466 (Linda in black bathing suit, Rhonda in blue bathing suit, Kate in blue bikini, other women in bikinis, lengthy)

 

 

Running on Empty

Rare Western Australia set car action movie where Mike (Terry Serio) desperately wants into the drag race scene but hasn't got a way in until he strikes up a 'friendship' with Julie (Deborah Conway) who's got the eye of the head of the scene Fox (Richard Moir). After losing a race badly to Fox, Mike goes to the country to beat rubes in drag races to make some quick money and then gets the help of a blind mechanic (Max Cullen) who lends Mike his pride-and-joy to beat Fox once and for all. Very odd movie with plenty for the revheads but there's no heroes here and it has a strange dystopic vibe like this is happening at the end-of-the-world. Max Cullen would play a mechanic again in next year's Midnite Spares.

A couple of nude scenes from singer Deborah Conway in a rare acting role plus one bizarre nude running scene featuring Keli Roberts.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Running on Empty here. A preview is below.

Deborah Conway in Running on Empty

   
   
   
   

 

Keli Roberts in Running on Empty

   
   

 

 

The Scarecrow (NZ)

Mystery thriller where a young girl is brutally murdered just as a mysterious drifter (John Carradine) arrives in town. Meanwhile two young boys try to join a local gang but they will only let them join if they let them have their way with their burgeoning young sister Prudence (Tracy Mann). Then the bodies start piling up and Prudence becomes a target. Interesting mystery movie even if it's fairly obvious who the killer is but it's other elements are what makes it interesting. According to the movies, small town New Zealand seems like a most horrible place to live.

Some brief side-boob from Tracy Mann.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from The Scarecrow here. A preview is below.

Tracy Mann in The Scarecrow

   

 

 

Snow: The Movie
aka Snow Bunnies

Ooof... a contender for the worst Australian movie ever made. Plenty cashed in during the 10BA era including the rapidly growing Melbourne comedy scene and this was the first of a series of unbelievably terrible movies made by Melbourne comedians. Two absolute losers (David Argue and Lance Curtis) win a trip to the Victorian snowfields and they go looking to ski and to get laid. That's about it apart from 90 minutes of some of the worst, unfunniest improv comedy you're ever likely to see. Well there's also a terrible lot of padding which makes me wonder if the more widely available 75 minute version is better. A number of familiar faces to the Melbourne comedy scene feature but they would appear in better things so you never need to see this.

The only real nudity comes from a wet T-shirt contest. There is some brief side-boob from Peppie D'Or but you'll find much better nudity from her in Melvin, Son of Alvin and cult favourite Houseboat Horror.

Peppie D'Or and Jeanine O'Donnell in Snow: The Movie

53266kb 1min 54sec 744x512 (brief side-boob from Peppie, both in towels, lengthy)

65576kb 2min 22sec 744x512 (Peppie in one piece bathing suit, Jeanine in bikini, lengthy)

 

Wet T-Shirt Girls in Snow: The Movie

32544kb 1min 20sec 744x512 (various girls showing breasts, bum and wet T-shirts)

 

 

Squizzy Taylor

Biopic of notorious 1920s Melbourne gangster 'Squizzy' Taylor (dance man David Atkins who also choreographed The Pirate Movie), who ran riot around Melbourne, commanding many people including the police and juries, giving a columnist some incredible scoops and also starring in his own movie. OK movie with decent period detail but is a little held back by Atkins not really being an actor despite having Squizzy's small physique.

Kim Lewis briefly shows her breasts in one scene.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Squizzy Taylor here. A preview is below.

Kim Lewis in Squizzy Taylor

   

 

 

Starstruck

Gillian Armstrong's follow-up to excellent My Brilliant Career is a pop musical about Jackie (Jo Kennedy) who with the help (or hindrance) of her cousin Angus (Ross O'Donovan) attempts to become a big star. She then catches the eye of the host of the biggest music show in the country after one of her stunts is broadcast on TV. But her rise hits a snag when they dial down her persona and attempt to re-create her so that she could be digestible for the big show at the Sydney Opera House. Obviously not a fan of musicals (see The Pirate Movie above) but this movie is pretty enjoyable and has some good songs. Always wondered why Jo Kennedy never became a bigger star.

A couple of brief nude scenes from Jo Kennedy in this PG-rated movie.

You can find a synopsis with collages and HD videos from Starstruck here. A preview is below.

Jo Kennedy in Starstruck

   

 

 

Sweet Dreamers

From the director of Journey Among Women this is a drama about two Australian people (Richard Moir and Sue Smithers) who meet in London and bond over trying to get a romantic movie made without compromise. After some heavily compromised interest from America they come back to Australia and start a family while still trying to get the movie up despite numerous setbacks. Fairly niche movie that follows two people on an impossible journey which seems out-of-date in the 10BA free-for-all.

Sue Smithers briefly shows her bottom and the side of her breast while getting out of bed and changing.

Sue Smithers in Sweet Dreamers

68644kb 1min 54sec 1444x1088 (brief bum and side-boob, 'nude' under covers, lengthy)

46824kb 58sec 1424x1088 (plenty of cleavage in see-through dress to breasts)

16428kb 23sec 1424x1088 (brief side-boob, hint of bum crack)

 

 

Turkey Shoot
aka Escape 2000, Blood Camp Thatcher

Brian Trenchard-Smith schlock-fest is basically a dystopian Most Dangerous Game where a newcomer to a 're-education' camp Chris (Olivia Hussey) causes a stir amongst the guards and a freedom fighter (Steve Railsback). It seems Chris is been 'kept' for the boss of the camp so that she can be his prey for the upcoming stalk-and-chase game. Meanwhile a plan is in place to escape the camp during the game. Silly stuff that's incredibly boring during the camp stuff but livens up once the hunt is on helped by some pretty decent stunts and effects scenes. Roger Ward as the head guard is working at previously unseen levels of nuttiness. Notoriously had a lot issues while filming and it shows.

Some brief body double nudity from Olivia Hussey although we do see her hair covering her breasts in the shower scene. Also a couple of scenes where we see Lynda Stoner's bottom including as a dead body. There's also some group shower scenes with naked women.

You can find a synopsis with collages and HD videos from Turkey Shoot here. A preview is below.

Olivia Hussey in Turkey Shoot

   

 

Lynda Stoner in Turkey Shoot

   

 

Unknowns in Turkey Shoot

   

 

 

The Year of Living Dangerously

Peter Weir directed political thriller set in Indonesia during 1965 just as President Suharto decides to crack down on the rise of communism (and boy did he...). New ABC Indonesia correspondent Guy Hamilton (Mel Gibson) arrives in Jakarta in a baptism of fire and immediately seems out place until he meets Billy Kwan (Linda Hunt, who won an Oscar for this role), a photographer who has contacts everywhere and decides to help Guy. Things start to go well for Guy then he meets a British attaché (Sigourney Weaver) and it isn't long before they fall for one another. Then the crack down begins and things become harder to everyone. First international production for Weir and Gibson, who really is a star in this movie. Hard-to-believe Linda Hunt had hardly done any acting before this movie, a role she would not even be considered for now but she does an amazing job at the physical embodiment of Billy.

No nudity in the movie but both Sigourney Weaver and Kuh Ledesma are in bathing suits.

Sigourney Weaver in The Year of Living Dangerously

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Kuh Ledesma in The Year of Living Dangerously

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As always there's further movies that have nothing to cap in them including the sweeping epic romances The Man from Snowy River and We of the Never Never, the WWII drama The Highest Honor, the arty mystery thriller The Plains of Heaven, the teen drama Fighting Back, the terrible teen tries to bed older lady 'comedy' "Norman Loves Rose", the telemovie On the Run plus a bunch of kids movies like Ginger Meggs, Fluteman, the animated Sarah and Runaway Island. There's also no nudity in the Michael Beck starring New Zealand dystopian Mad Max knock-off Battletruck aka Warlords of the 21st Century. It is unknown if there's any nudity in A Most Attractive Man and I wasn't able to get a copy of the kids' circus movie Wilde's Domain although there's no nudity in it but there might be some scenes to cap.

 

Not as many movies to cap in 1983 although there's still plenty to do so I might just leave it to one update next weekend.

 

Tags: Louise Howitt, Elli Maclure, Angelique Meyer, Katy Platt, Terrie Sinclair, Helena Ross, Sally Conabere, Lorna Lesley, Peppie D'Or, Jeanine O'Donnell, Kristy McNichol, Linda Nagle, Rhonda Burchmore, Kate Ferguson, Sue Smithers, Sigourney Weaver, Kuh Ledesma