Australian/New Zealand movies: 2003

After a severe drop-off in 2002, there's a surge of movies with sexy stuff in 2003 but not necessarily a big jump in the amount of nudity. But there's so many movies with something to cap for the year that this will be an update in three parts. Part one contains extensive nudity in Alexandra's Project and decent scenes in A Cold Summer and Japanese Story.

This update has been a bit of mess to put together and it's still ongoing. I usually release it in alphabetical order but I've come into some movies very late so there will be some out-of-order over the next couple of updates. More to come.

A bit of nudity in nearly all movies listed in part 2 but only indie drama Lovesick and the New Zealand movie Orphans and Angels has anything substantial. It's the year of bushranger Ned Kelly so there's a couple of movies about him, a drama and a parody comedy. There's also a few deleted/alternate scenes in this update that are not widely available.

For the final update of 2003 there's extensive nudity in a couple of cheap Mark Savage soft-core erotic thrillers but apart from that the nudity in this update is relatively brief.

2003

Alexandra's Project

Domestic drama/thriller from Rolf de Heer that is set over the course of Steve's (Gary Sweet) 45th birthday. The movie begins with the usual family dynamics between Steve and his wife Alexandra (Helen Buday), a little bit of tension between them but nothing seems too out of the ordinary. After Steve leaves for work, Alexandra tells the kids they aren't going to school and they can help her prepare for their father's birthday celebrations. Steve has a good day at work and leaves expecting a celebration but he arrives home and finds the house deserted with the electricity cut off except for the television and the VCR. He also sees a video camera set up on a tripod and a birthday gift. He opens it and finds a video with a message to play it. Steve watches and is greeted with a striptease from his wife before she sits down and starts talking about their relationship. Boring!!! So he fast-forwards the video and what he sees next will begin a night of viewing he'll never forget for a long time. Insanely intriguing premise that delivers multiple gut punches as we watch Steve's life implode on videotape. Both Sweet and Buday are excellent in what is basically a two-hander where it's just Sweet reacting to what he's seeing on the tape. The twists are wild and leave Steve, who started by thinking he had everything, with nothing and his whole life stripped of what he thought he held dear.

Helen Buday spends most of the movie wearing not very much and includes some full frontal nudity.

You can find a synopsis with a 13 minute video from Alexandra's Project here. A preview is below.

Helen Buday in Alexandra's Project

    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

 

 

Balmain Boys

Pilot TV movie about a former rugby player Ledge (Paul Gleeson) who becomes a police detective but is left to fend for himself when he is injured and both corrupt police and the crooks are trying to get rid of him. Or something... It's been a while since I've seen this.

I made some collages of Lara Cox from this telemovie which you can find here but there's not much to see in them.

 

 

BlackJack

Comedy writers Shaun Micallef and Gary McCaffrie came up with this mostly serious telemovie about out-of-favour detective Jack Kempson (Colin Friels) who's sent out-of-sight to oversee data entry in the new crime computer after finding out that someone is trying to set him up. But Jack can't help himself and he soon finds a cold case crime to solve in between looking over his assistant Julie's (Kate Beahan) shoulder. First of seven telemovies.

Brief nudity from Victoria Longley while lying in bed after sex. There's no further nudity in the rest of the series.

You can find a synopsis with videos from BlackJack here. A preview is below.

Victoria Longley in BlackJack

    

 

 

A Bullet in the Arse

A surprisingly endearing and explosive tribute to Sergio Leone westerns (especially The Good, The Bad and the Ugly) but set in early 2000s Australia. Cleef (Paul Moder) is a hitman for-hire who is very good at his job then he is tasked with killing weaselly drug dealer Walton (David Richardson), a specter from his past. Meanwhile brothel owner Curly (Robin Brennan) is stewing, still complaining about being robbed years earlier which sees him continuing at the brothel which he hates. Turns out that Cleef and Walton robbed Curly in a previous life then Walton being the weasel that he is, shoots Cleef dead and takes all the money. Except Cleef survived and with his offsider Driscoll (Adam Batt), they now get the chance for revenge. Then Curly is told of Walton's whereabouts and it becomes a Mexican stand-off with massive shoot-outs, car chases and more explosions than you can ever imagine. Made by the three lead actors (all of which worked on Sensitive New Age Killer with the director also involved in this movie), this movie is absolutely nuts but in a good way as there's so many dangerous looking stunts happening and so many blood squibs going off it's a wonder no-one was killed. The movie is a lot of fun and the shoot-outs are both dangerous and lengthy. Thankfully most of it takes place in the middle-of-nowhere or in abandoned places.

Brief nudity from Jasmine Bednarik plus other women.

Jasmine Bednarik in A Bullet in the Arse

8850kb 53sec 704x468 (brief breasts, short skirt, stockings and suspenders, upskirt)

 

Unknowns in A Bullet in the Arse

5176kb 20sec 704x468 (both women show their breasts)

 

 

Christmas (NZ)

Drama where Keri (David Hornblow) reluctantly comes home for Christmas to his family with all his siblings still living at home with their parents Lorna (Darien Takle) and Brian (Tony Waerea). They all have their own issues like an eldest sister Megan (Helen Pearse Otene) who lives with her two children and abusive partner Brett (Matthew Sunderland) in the basement and obsessively cleans the house to avoid dealing with him. Another sister Donna (Kate Sullivan) thinks she's pregnant and doesn't know what to do about it and a brother Richard (Czahn Armstrong) who's a total dopehead. Keri himself is broke and owes money to a number of people plus there's something wrong with his arse which looks nasty. Things slowly build to breaking point and there's always the feeling that something real bad is about to happen. Very much in the genre of depression porn where nothing good ever seems to happen but a certain tension does build giving an overall feeling that something is going to explode at any moment. There's even some funny moments throughout but how you deal with the grungy feel of the movie will go a long way towards whether or not you'll like this movie.

Brief nudity from Helen Pearse Otene plus there's further sexy scenes from others.

You can find a synopsis with videos from Christmas here. A preview is below.

Helen Pearse Otene in Christmas

    

 

 

A Cold Summer

Improvised drama focusing on three damaged individuals in Sydney over 'a cold summer'. Jazz Singer Tia (Olivia Pigeot) is followed home one afternoon by a disheveled and drunken Bobby (Teo Gebert). After a brief argument they have sex then begin an affair even though Tia has a boyfriend. Soon, Tia bumps into Phaedra (Susan Prior), who are old friends but Phaedra is still mourning the death of the love of her life 3 years later. Tia convinces the now socially inept Phaedra to pursue a fruit shop worker, but fails miserably. As Tia and Bobby continue their ruinous relationship, Phaedra finds out that Tia had sex with her ex and decides to get revenge by seducing Bobby. It turns out Bobby is living in his car after being kicked out by his wife and that Tia's life is a complete lie. There are no winners here, including anyone who watches this impoverished piece of shit film. Oh dear... Pretty much improvised by the three cast members, it's all over-the-top melodrama at it's worst and not really interesting at all. None of the characters are worth visiting and boy do they bang on about it, their behaviour barely rational and not deserving of any sympathy.

Near impossible-to-find movie that never got a DVD release and I only found on VHS from a very obscure, non-commercial source. The director's previous movie, Terra Nova, is equally as obscure.

Olivia Pigeot is naked in a couple of scenes.

You can find a synopsis with collages and VHS quality videos from A Cold Summer here. A preview is below.

Olivia Pigeot in A Cold Summer

    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

 

 

Danny Deckchair

Romantic comedy about Danny (Rhys Ifans) who always has his head in the clouds which annoys his flashy real estate agent girlfriend Trudy (Justine Clarke). After Trudy cancels their camping trip to spend time with sports commentator Sandy (Rhys Muldoon), Danny has nothing better to do so after getting some helium balloons, he ties them to his deckchair and wonders if they'll lift him into the sky. And at a barbecue with his friends, he tries it out and ends up going in the air and he lands near lost parking officer Glenda (Miranda Otto) and they end up falling for one another. Meanwhile Trudy, who's been having an affair with Sandy, sees Danny's new found fame and sees him in a new light. Absolute trifle of a movie, a very light romantic comedy based on a real event that happened. And this is best they could come up with, a forgettable romantic comedy instead of a biopic of something worth watching.

No nudity in Danny Deckchair but there's a number of sexy scenes throughout the movie which you can find collages and videos of here.

 

 

Fat Pizza

First movie based on the cult SBS comedy from Pauly Fenech about the daily goings on at a pizza shop run by the sadistic Bobo (John Boxer) with his mother (Maria Venuti). We also follow incompetent delivery drivers Pauly (Pauly Fenech), Sleek the Elite (Paul Nakad) and Habib (Tahir Bilgic) as they go about getting involved in various dubious incidents. A new delivery driver Aussie Davo (Jabba) has joined and is a dope fiend and equally as incompetent. The main plot is Bobo is getting married, much to the chagrin of his mother, to a mail-order bride LinChow (Tuyen Le) who has arrived by a refugee boat. As always with Fenech's work, it's full of politically incorrect jokes, lots of innuendo and general silliness and is incredibly hit and miss. There's always laughs but there's far more down time but a lot less than in later incarnations. Strangely all the swearing is bleeped out which I guess was a thing in the early series of the show. It is what it is and nothing else.

Nudity from Sarah de Graaff plus sexy scenes from numerous other women including Annalise Braakensiek. Numerous videos from Fat Pizza are below.

Tuyen Le in Fat Pizza

15067kb 16sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage, shorts)

 

Tuyen Le and Annalise Braakensiek in Fat Pizza

7699kb 7sec 1920x1088 (both in bikinis)

 

Annalise Braakensiek in Fat Pizza

37479kb 40sec 1920x1088 (bra, plenty of cleavage in singlet top)

 

Maria Venuti in Fat Pizza

15454kb 16sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage in gown with bra peeking out)

 

Krista Vendy in Fat Pizza

50460kb 54sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage, short skirt, upskirt probably of double)

 

Katrina Spadone in Fat Pizza

15794kb 16sec 1920x1088 (panties)

 

June Dries and Julieanne Arbolino in Fat Pizza

24094kb 25sec 1920x1088 (both in bikinis, June is also nippy)

 

Melanie Portelli in Fat Pizza

30058kb 32sec 1920x1088 (plenty of cleavage in midriff revealing top, short skirt, upskirt, sex scene including being taken from behind)

 

Melanie Portelli, Jo Jo Yee and Danielle Moussa in Fat Pizza

15288kb 16sec 1920x1088 (various women in bras or implied nudity, various sex scenes)

 

Bindi Symons in Fat Pizza

25593kb 35sec 1920x1088 (bra and G-string)

 

Jenny Corfield in Fat Pizza

16080kb 17sec 1920x1088 (bra and panties)

 

Sarah de Graaff in Fat Pizza

29495kb 37sec 1920x1088 (breasts)

 

Unknowns in Fat Pizza

24603kb 26sec 1920x1088 (various women in various stages of undress)

 

 

Fishnet

First of the Mark Savage (Sensitive New Age Killer) soft-core erotic thrillers, this one is feeble thriller that is mostly just fairly pedestrian sex scenes. Nadia (Helen Hopkins) is unlucky in love because as soon as she falls for guy, he disappears without a trace. Not to worry, you can get another one. Then her 'friend' Lois (Susanne Hausschmid) arrives and stays with Nadia for a while and during that time they have a fling. Nadia wants to set up Lois with her missing lover's friend Royce (Tony Horton) but she seems more interested in Nadia. Then Royce arrives still mourning his wife and falls into the arms of Nadia which seemingly pisses off Lois. Then Royce is in mortal danger and Nadia has to work out who is killing her lovers. Hmmm... Well the plot is incidental to the copious amounts of sex and even that gets pretty boring after a while. Sensitive New Age Killer is a fun movie which looked to a promising future for Savage but he decided he'd rather make this forgettable trash.

Extensive nudity from Helen Hopkins and Susanne Hausschmid while Ashley Rae also shows her breasts. A number of videos from the movie feature below.

Helen Hopkins in Fishnet

42677kb 3min 19sec 640x480 (brief full frontal nudity but mostly breasts and bum, bikini, sex scene, extremely lengthy)

26720kb 2min 49sec 640x480 (breasts, plenty of cleavage in nice dress, sex scene, very lengthy)

52109kb 4min 04sec 640x480 (breasts, bikini, extremely lengthy)

44064kb 3min 37sec 640x480 (breasts, panties, plenty of cleavage in nice dress, sex scene, extremely lengthy)

 

Helen Hopkins and Susanne Hausschmid in Fishnet

59084kb 4min 36sec 640x480 (both show breasts and in bikinis also in short skirts, various upskirts by both, girl-girl kissing, extremely lengthy)

74277kb 5min 48sec 640x480 (both show breasts and plenty of cleavage in singlet tops and panties, Susanne in see-through singlet top, girl-girl kisses, extremely lengthy)

 

Susanne Hausschmid in Fishnet

2787kb 11sec 640x480 (bikini top)

11512kb 52sec 640x480 (sports bra, nippy)

30491kb 2min 22sec 640x480 (breasts, plenty of cleavage in nice dress, lengthy)

5398kb 32sec 640x480 (bra and panties)

 

Monika Santa in Fishnet

6881kb 45sec 640x480 (bra and panties)

 

Ashley Rae in Fishnet

27208kb 3min 11sec 640x480 (breasts, panties, plenty of cleavage in nice dress, getting eaten out, extremely lengthy)

 

 

Gettin' Square

Crime comedy set on the Gold Coast where a bunch of former crims are attempting to 'get square' (go straight). Barry (Sam Worthington) arrives back in town after an 8 year stretch for a murder he didn't commit. He's looking for work, hopefully as a cook but is finding it very hard. Johnny Spiteri (David Wenham) served time with Barry but instantly goes back to his junkie ways although he's trying to get square. Former crim Dabba (Timothy Spall) runs a failing restaurant with his best mate Crusher (Richard Carter) and is desperately trying to 'get square' but an anti-corruption commission is breathing down his neck and wants him to work with them to get someone, anyone. Enter DeViers (David Field), a cop with a finger in every pie who works with kingpin Chicka Martin (Gary Sweet) who wants to set up a robbery and is forcing Dabba and Barry into it. Barry, who is now working as a chef as Dabba's restaurant to some success, concocts a plan to rid them of their troubles once and for all. Solid crime comedy with a good story, decent lead performance from Worthington, good support from Spall and a surprisingly hilarious turn from Wenham, not usually known for comedy. Not a bad little movie.

No nudity in Gettin' Square but there's a few sexy scenes which you can find videos of below.

You can find a synopsis with collages from Gettin' Square here. New videos in HD are available below.

Freya Stafford in Gettin' Square

109630kb 1min 54sec 1920x1040 (sports bra, shorts, lengthy)

33478kb 38sec 1920x1040 (implied nudity)

 

Marea Lambert Barker in Gettin' Square

60436kb 1min 02sec 1920x1040 (bikini top, short)

 

Suellen Underwood in Gettin' Square

33303kb 34sec 1920x1040 (bra, short skirt, sex scene taken from behind)

 

 

Horseplay

Romp set around the Melbourne Cup horse race that has a deep cast and many comical situations but is not really funny. So many plots going on but none that I can remember much other than Abbie Cornish's character is involved in some murder or something.

No nudity in Horseplay but there's plenty of sexy scenes which you can find collages and videos of here.

 

 

Japanese Story

Romantic drama about Sandy (Toni Collette) who is forced to take a Japanese businessman Hiromitsu (Gotaro Tsunashima) out to the outback for a tour. Sandy doesn't want to be there but over time, she comes to like Hiromitsu and they fall for one another. Then tragedy strikes and affects Sandy in a way that she didn't expect. Solid movie lead by a great lead performance from Collette.

You can find a synopsis with collages and HD videos from Japanese Story here. A preview is below.

Toni Collette in Japanese Story

    
    
    
    
    
    

 

 

Kombi Nation (NZ)

Comedy, I guess, about Sal (Gentiane Lupi) who joins a European trip with her sister Maggie (Genevieve McClean) and her friend Liz (Loren Taylor). At the airport, Sal springs on them that she is making a movie of their trip and is bringing along a camera crew which they are not happy about. In Europe, they buy a Kombi van and get ready to go for a drive around Europe but before they leave they meet fellow New Zealander in Europe Jason (Jason Whyte) and they decide to let him join the ride. Things go well for a while particularly in Spain where they run with the bulls in Pamplona and watch some bullfighting. They arrive in France and then things take a turn when Sal and Liz find Jason's stash of drugs he seems to be selling to fund his trip. Maggie doesn't care as she's come to like Jason but there is now a tension in the group exacerbated when their van is robbed and Sal and Liz is convinced Jason did it. Things deteriorate from there as Maggie takes sides with Jason and they split up and go their own way then they get back together and leave Jason behind and then it gets worse from there. Sort of a comedy but it's not really a funny movie although the trip does deteriorate into farce by the end and the movie which started out as a fairly uninteresting travelogue movie gets a little more interesting if predictable by the end. Feels improvised which probably adds to it being not as funny as it could be.

No nudity in Kombi Nation but there's a few sexy scenes which videos of are available below.

Loren Taylor in Kombi Nation

18274kb 1min 01sec 960x544 (plenty of cleavage in nice dress with bikini top peeking out)

 

Genevieve McClean in Kombi Nation

5890kb 18sec 960x544 (one piece bathing suit)

19630kb 1min 06sec 960x544 (bikini)

 

 

Lesbo-A-Go-Go

50 minute homage to 60s exploitation movies. Sugar (Cari Withercy) is an innocent young woman who is left to fend for herself when her husband is murdered by crooks. After being forced into a relationship with her husband's killer, Sugar is found in the street by Kitten (Eileen Surepuss), a lesbian bon vivant who promises to introduce her world. This starts out well but this just leads to another form of abuse from Kitten. I don't know what to make of this. Not much happens and it's mostly silent and the dialogue is dubbed in a way which suggests it should be a parody but never is. Plus there's no lesbian action. Boo!!

No nudity in Lesbo-A-Go-Go but there's some sexy scene which you can find below.

Cari Withercy in Lesbo-A-Go-Go

37652kb 2min 04sec 768x576 (plenty of cleavage in nightie, 'nude' in bath, lengthy)

 

Rene Rosenbrock in Lesbo-A-Go-Go

22910kb 1min 02sec 768x576 (bikini)

 

 

Liquid Bridge

Producer Phillip Avalon, in the director's chair for the first (and only) time, goes back to one of his great loves: surfing. Surfing drama about prodigy Nick (Ryan Kwanten) who's about to break onto the scene despite his father (Tony Bonner) not wanting him to surf. He meets a French tourist Jeanne (Simone Kessell) and they fall for one another but when he and his friend cross drug kingpin Tony (Jeremy Sims), he is set up and framed in a drug bust and jailed. Thankfully his father has a friend Ogitani (Nathaniel Lees) in jail, who takes Nick under his wing and helps him overcome his fears in jail and in the surf while Jeanne sticks by him and finds her way to Monkey Myer to swim with the dolphins. Clunky as hell and quite a few moments which are just embarrassing which is fairly typical for an Avalon movie. Kwanten would go onto far better things than this but he's not too bad here given what he has to work with.

Nudity from Simone Kessell in the final scene of the movie which is absolutely tacked on and most welcome. There's also an alternate version of the scene.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Liquid Bridge here. A preview is below.

Simone Kessell in Liquid Bridge

    
    
    
    

 

 

The Long Lunch

Guy Ritchie-type crime comedy thriller where a group of crims including lovers Dixie (Jeanette Cronin) and Italo (Ian Bliss), Elbridge (Vincent Gil), Dwayne (Victor Rodger) and Issur (Alex Menglet) gather at their favourite Chinese restaurant for a hearty lunch the day before a big heist. While they eat, play, tell stories and generally act obnoxiously or racist, a group of workers at the restaurant headed by Gracie (Steph Song) overhear their plans and decide to pull the heist as the thieves are being debauched. Except to pull it off perfectly, they must do it before the crims have finished their lunch. So, they take the crim's car from the valet and hold up the factory but things go awry and one of the crew is killed then the bodies start piling up. Also it turns out that there are undercover cops all over the place. Crude, obnoxious comedy full of casual racism and appalling stories that go on forever (one about Elton John being a serial killer addicted to funerals is still going). Never really gets that Guy Ritchie vibe and is downright hateful most of the time but not in a good way. This might explain why it was never released in Australia (unless you count it being on Tubi 20 years later as 'a release').

No nudity in The Long Lunch but there is a deleted scene on the DVD that features brief nudity from Odette Joannidis, who does not appear in the movie itself.

You can find a synopsis with a video from The Long Lunch here. A preview is below.

Odette Joannidis in The Long Lunch

    

 

 

Lost Things

Existential horror movie where four teenagers go for a weekend trip to a beach while telling their parents they are going elsewhere. Emily (Lenka Kripac) and Tracey (Alexandra Vaughan) go with Brad (Charlie Garber) and Gary (Leon Ford) to a deserted beach for some sun, surfing and possibly sex although the girls are going to make the blokes work for it. Once there, the four have a feeling of déjà vu that they have been there before but none can remember when and there's a sense of creepiness about the beach not helped by word that three people died there a year earlier. Things progress until they come across a drifter named Zippo (Steve Le Marquand) who has a threatening demeanor although he does save Tracey from a snake attack. He is also the man that Emily is seen with briefly before they go on their trip although she acts like she does not know him. Over the weekend, the sense of déjà vu increases as well as the sense of dread plus it also seems impossible for any of them leave the beach. A shocking event has happened or about to happen and the four teens are trapped in a nightmare waiting for their fate. Baffling horror movie that has an interesting idea but doesn't seem to make much sense. It's obvious who the three are who died, but what happened to the survivor (there is a mention that they disappeared but that's it) and why did the massacre happen? I've got no idea and after three attempts, I don't think I ever will...

Both Lenka Kripac and Alexandra Vaughan show their breasts for some topless sunbathing. Lenka is better known for her later music career.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Lost Things here. A preview is below.

Lenka Kripac in Lost Things

    
    

 

Alexandra Vaughan in Lost Things

    
    
    
    
    

 

 

Lovesick

Another movie from Melbourne indie filmmaker Bill Mousoulis. Steve (Clay Ravin) and Louise (Holly Marshall) throw off the shackles of their corporate jobs and decide to move in together and do nothing but be with one another and ignore the outside world. Things hit a lull and then 9/11 happens so both go out into the world and end up meeting people from their previous lives. Steve meets Tamsyn (Marie Ng) who is getting into music while Louise meets Matthew (Stuart Black) who encourages her to get into writing. Then Matthew comes over to their flat and then out-of-nowhere, Steve and Louise kill him and then kill Tamsyn when she comes over. Nothing is going to separate Steve and Louise until the police come knocking and both decide to go on-the-run separately but they will always find their way back to one another. Snail's pace drama that takes a wild turn halfway through to become interesting for a moment before going back to that snail's pace. Barely anything happens but at 70 minutes, it's short enough to not be a tough watch.

Holly Marshall has a number of nude scenes which you can find below.

Holly Marshall in Lovesick

170522kb 3min 30sec 1800x1080 (breasts, bum, various sex scenes including being taken from behind, extremely lengthy)

89495kb 1min 50sec 1800x1080 (breasts, panties, lengthy)

33320kb 40sec 1800x1080 (breasts, bra)

59567kb 1min 13sec 1800x1080 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top, panties)

 

 

Mermaids

Mermaid drama where Diana (Erika Heynatz) witnesses her father's death at the hands of callous fisherman Mallick (Sean Taylor) who use explosives to fish. She wants revenge and decides to go on the land for the first time to seek out her land living sisters Venus (Nikita Ager) and black sheep June (Serah D'Laine) to help. While Venus is keen, June had a falling out with her father and hasn't seen him in years. Meanwhile, June has a thing for coast guard cop Randy (Daniel Frederiksen) but he doesn't know she's a mermaid also he has a girlfriend. Thankfully she saves his life after an accident and gives her a chance to be with him. June eventually joins her sisters and brings along Randy to help them get their father's killers. OK drama made in Queensland for American TV that feels like it should be more of a kids thing but feels like it's for an older audience backed up by the fairly revealing mermaid's outfits. Pretty by-the-numbers stuff.

No real nudity in Mermaids but there's a few side-boob scenes and the mermaid's outfits are fairly revealing. I had capped this movie back in 2005 and thought it was available on this site but I must not have recapped the series. So, I've made all new videos from the movie, available below.

Serah D'Laine in Mermaids

9242kb 27sec 768x576 (bra top, plenty of cleavage in nice dress)

14340kb 42sec 768x576 (bra top)

 

Serah D'Laine, Nikita Ager and Erika Heynatz in Mermaids

46102kb 2min 22sec 768x576 (all in bra tops)

 

Nikita Ager in Mermaids

25648kb 1min 21sec 768x576 (bikini top and bottoms)

1986kb 3sec 768x576 (bikini top, short skirt)

7234kb 21sec 768x576 (bra top)

 

Erika Heynatz in Mermaids

2636kb 6sec 768x576 (bra top)

21532kb 1min 07sec 768x576 (side-boob, implied nudity)

9248kb 29sec 768x576 (bikini, skirt)

6066kb 20sec 768x576 (bra top, skirt, upskirt)

 

 

Ned

Haven't seen Ned in a while but I remember it being a pretty dire parody of the Ned Kelly legend made by actor Abe Forsythe who cast a bunch of his co-stars in Always Greener who are seen throughout the movie. Wild to think that he is now involved in making the next RoboCop movie.

There's no nudity in Ned but there's a scene where a bunch of 1800s sex workers parade for their prospective customers in sexy outfits including a number of his Always Greener co-stars and a young Nikki Osborne. You can see the videos here.

 

 

Ned Kelly

The year of Ned Kelly continues with this apocryphal treatment of that Australian outlaw. Ned (Heath Ledger) is fitted up for a crime he probably didn't do. He is sent to jail for 2 years and comes back wanting the quiet life with his family. Across the way, a rich family have moved in and he takes a shine to the woman of the house, Julia Cook (Naomi Watts), although she is married. But the local cops want the Kelly Gang gone and will do anything to get rid of them. A young constable wants Ned's sister Kate (Kerry Condon) but she doesn't want him and it is the catalyst for what is about to happen. When a young constable tries to rape Kate, he is kicked out of the house and the constable tells the other cops that Ned shot him and the shit hits the fan. The Kelly Gang, including his brother Dan, Steve Hart and Joe Byrne (Orlando Bloom) go on-the-run. The cops come and arrest his Ned's mother to force them back but this doesn't work so they go after the gang. When they catch up, there is a shoot-out where 3 cops are killed. They also start robbing banks. To the public, the Kelly Gang are forced into this situation by the cops fitting them up and they are lauded, even though a $20,000 reward has been put on their heads and the best cop in Victoria, Superintendent Francis Hare (Geoffrey Rush), is sent in to get them. And it's going to come to a head in Glenrowan. A solid but not really memorable version of the Kelly legend. Ledger leads the film extremely well and shows what was to come (and sadly cut short). The rest are there for name value only. Naomi Watts is barely in it and her character is such a wet blanket. Orlando Bloom barely registers even though he has a fairly big role. The final showdown is quite shocking and if it is how it happened, the police should be ashamed of themselves.

Brief full frontal nudity from Thea Gumbert.

You can find a synopsis with a HD video from Ned Kelly here. A preview is below.

Thea Gumbert in Ned Kelly

    

 

The Night We Called It a Day
aka All the Way

Dramatisation of Frank Sinatra's (Dennis Hopper) 1974 tour of Australia which went so badly it caused a massive strike by union workers and nearly ended before it was to be finished. Cocky upstart promoter Rod Blue (Joel Edgerton) manages to book Frank Sinatra for a rare tour of Australia. But the tour goes badly from the start as Rod doesn't seem to be up to the task of managing a big time tour. Sinatra is rather grumpy which is exacerbated when he goes after journalist Hilary (Portia de Rossi) then calls all female journalists 'two bit hookers'. Well this goes down badly and all the unions in Australia go on strike and a solution is brokered by union head and future Prime Minister Bob Hawke (David Field). Along the way Rod falls for his assistant Audrey (Rose Byrne) while Frank's then wife Barbara Marx (Melanie Griffith) comforts Frank and gives out some sage advice. The story of the 1974 Sinatra tour is legend in Australia, probably not enough to hold a 90 minute movie though and this movie gets bogged down in a silly romantic sub-plot which probably didn't happen.

No nudity in The Night We Called It a Day but there's a few sexy scenes including Rose Byrne in a braless see-through top available here.

 

 

Orphans and Angels (NZ)

Unconventional noir thriller where Theresa (Emmeline Hawthorne) meets John (Christopher Brown) after she watches her friend Kim (comedian Cal Wilson) mutilate herself on stage while John bets a groom-to-be to drink a pot of hard liquor which he does and promptly dies. They hit it off despite her reticence as she's a rape victim who doesn't like being touched but they bond between bouts of mutual masturbation. Meanwhile, John joins up with his drug dealer buddy and starts selling drugs again. Kim is very suspect of John and it turns out he probably killed his ex-girlfriend, also named Theresa and that he may be slowly killing Theresa. After Kim talks to Theresa and tells her about him, she gives Theresa a gun to protect herself. When John finds out, he decides to kill Kim and then up his control of Theresa. Very odd movie, hard to pin down and has some intriguing elements but Theresa is a hard character to get into because she spends most of the movie in a daze which makes the ending of the movie more than a little implausible. But there's enough going on to keep interest, it just doesn't quite hit all the right buttons.

A few nude scenes from Emmeline Hawthorne. Her sister Sophia has nude scenes in When Love Comes and Savage Honeymoon.

You can find a synopsis with videos from Orphans and Angels here. A preview is below.

Emmeline Hawthorne in Orphans and Angels

    
    
    
    
    

 

 

The Pact

Phillip Avalon strikes again with another terrible thriller. 15 years earlier, a bunch of teens (including Saskia Burmeister) go train surfing and one of the group, Patricia, dies. The group decide that after Patricia's death that they will make better of their lives or come back and go for one last train surf (?!). Susan (Sigrid Thornton) has moved on with her life and has a daughter Brittany (Basia A'Hern). But Wilga (Robert Mammone) has been on a downward mental spiral since the incident and 15 years later he is going to make sure the pact is completed. So he kills Susan's boyfriend and kidnaps Brittany to make sure she follows through. Despondent, Susan enlists the help of an old friend Roy (Peter O'Brien) to help her get her daughter back. Typically silly stuff from Avalon, a ridiculous plot with some nasty violence and quite hateful at times. Mammone is always good as a psycho but Thornton is wildly miscast here and this movie seems beneath her.

The only nudity in the movie is from a body double for Sigrid Thornton who shows her breasts and bottom in a pretty gratuitous sex scene.

You can find a synopsis with videos from The Pact here. A preview is below.

Sigrid Thornton in The Pact

    
    

 

 

Paradise Found

Another Gauguin biopic strangely made by kids film director Mario Andreacchio. In 19th century France, Paul Gauguin (Kiefer Sutherland) is a successful stockbroker living in luxury with his wife Mette (Nastassja Kinski) and their children. Then he comes across struggling painter Pissaro (Alun Armstrong) and buys a couple of his paintings and they become friends. Gauguin hates being a stockbroker and always wanted to be a painter and encouraged by Pissaro and a great review from a critic, he quits his comfortable job and takes up painting. Of course he struggles and brings his family to its knees and Mette takes the kids and leaves. This is intercut with Gauguin's later venture into Tahiti where he too struggles but is helped in his inspiration by his live-in lover Tehura (Sarah-Lina Brown). He also sees the locals have their religious idols taken from them by local Catholic missionary Maurrin (Nicholas Hope) but this would become an inspiration for Gauguin's greatest works. Not bad biopic but it is strange seeing Sutherland hot off the success of 24 play a well-known artist. At least it doesn't play down that Gauguin was a failure for a long while and doesn't necessarily end with him in great success either.

Nudity from Sarah-Lina Brown plus Jana Bittnerová playing one of Gauguin's nude models. I've made videos from the movie which are available below.

Sarah-Lina Brown in Paradise Found

22540kb 1min 08sec 960x416 (hair over breasts)

20492kb 1min 04sec 960x416 (breasts, bum)

26662kb 1min 19sec 960x416 (plenty of cleavage, nippy, down blouse)

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Jana Bittnerová in Paradise Found

10254kb 31sec 960x416 (breasts)

 

 

The Postcard Bandit

Telemovie about one of Australia's most notorious bank robbers Brendan James Abbott (Tom Long). Don't remember a lot about it except that he was with a few lovers along the way plus he was a big fan of the music of James Reyne who turns up in a baffling cameo. Strangely this movie seems like it was the precedent for what would become the TV series Underbelly.

Tasma Walton shows her breasts in a massage scene plus side-boob in a deleted scene. There's also a nip slip from Helen Dallimore who despite having a number of sexy scenes, particular early in her career, never did any nudity.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from The Postcard Bandit here. A preview is below.

Tasma Walton in The Postcard Bandit

    
    
    
    

 

Helen Dallimore in The Postcard Bandit

 

 

Preservation

54 minute movie about a taxidermist (Jacqueline McKenzie) who falls for a new bloke in town but he also has interest from elsewhere.

There's a brief nude scene as Jacqueline bathes in lavender.

You can find a synopsis with a video from Preservation here. A preview is below.

Jacqueline in Preservation

    

 

 

Prisoner Queen

First feature movie from cult Boronia filmmaker Timothy Spanos, outer suburban Melbourne's closest answer to John Waters. Alex (Tim Burns) is a wandering fool who becomes lost after his mother (Jude Kuring) tells him she's dying of cancer. So Alex's way to deal with it is to transform himself into a prison guard character from his favourite TV show Prisoner. Bizarre comedy ensues. Spanos's movies are an acquired taste mostly because they are extremely campy, some of which are fairly fun. This one is more than a little silly but isn't too bad plus there's a number of cameos from actresses who featured in Prisoner so fans of the show would probably like it.

Brief nudity from Jude Kuring who shows her breasts in a couple of scenes plus Jocelyn Gay also shows her breasts.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Prisoner Queen here. A preview is below.

Jude Kuring in Prisoner Queen

    
    

 

Jocelyn Gay in Prisoner Queen

    

 

 

The Rage in Placid Lake

Light comedy about Placid Lake (singer Ben Lee in his only movie role) who lives a 'strange' lifestyle with his hippie parents (Miranda Richardson and Garry McDonald). But when Placid finishes high school, he decides to rebel against his parents and become a normal person with a normal job. His best friend Gemma (Rose Byrne), a genius, tries to talk him out of it but also decides her own form of rebellion by dating dumb boys. So how long can Placid last before he goes back to his old life. A movie that desperately wants to be a satire about suburban conformity but never really hits any heights. Lee is OK as the unexpected lead but Rose Byrne pretty much steals the movie as the smart girl gone bad. This movie also dates itself when Claire Danes makes a cameo, who was dating Ben Lee at the time.

No nudity in The Rage in Placid Lake but there's a few sexy scenes available here.

 

 

Riverworld (NZ)

Sci-fi telemovie where astronaut Hale (Brad Johnson) is in the middle of a catastrophic failure in his spaceship when he wakes up naked in the sea off an island all by himself. Then a whole bunch of people join him and it seems as though they have all died and entered some sort of heaven as their younger selves. Except this isn't Heaven and they have to fend for themselves. It isn't long before Valdemar (Kevin Smith) takes over and starts turning the rest into prisoners and slaves. Hale forms a plan to escape with Alice (Emily Lloyd), Mali (Karen Holness) and an unfortunate alien Monat (Brian Moore) and when they do, they come across a man named Samuel Clemens (Cameron Daddo) who is building a riverboat with the help of Monat's expertise to escape. But Lucius (Jonathan Cake), who says that he was Emperor Nero in his past life and has fought his way to be Valdemar's right hand man through gladiatorial battles, is not about to let them escape. Interesting story that feels like it was gearing up for a TV series that never happened so it feels a bit underdone but there's enough going on to keep interest and the initial premise is intriguing.

The only nudity in Riverworld is from a bunch of extras in the arrival scene, There's also further sexy scenes from Emily Lloyd and Karen Holness, which you can find below.

Emily Lloyd in Riverworld

20635kb 45sec 1268x720 ('nude' in bath)

 

Karen Holness in Riverworld

52613kb 1min 57sec 1268x720 (plentyo f cleavage in midriff revelaing top, skirt, lengthy)

 

Unknowns in Riverworld

18468kb 40sec 1268x720 (various naked women)

 

 

Skin & Bone (NZ)

Brutal sports drama about Seymour (Antony Starr, Homelander from The Boys) who's about to make it big in rugby but gets the rug pulled from under him and heads back home to play in the final game of the season for his struggling home town rugby team. Except this is one of the more darker interpretations of this scenario, actually it's incredibly fucked. One of the old team is a total psychopath who when he's not trying to knock out his captain, gets Seymour's city girlfriend Moira (Charmaine Guest) drunk and forces another bloke to rape her while she's passed out. And if that's not bad enough, the final game is an incredibly grim experience. The psychopath kicks the captain in the head and a fair amount of time goes into the local doctor (well I think he was...) thinking about drilling a hole in the captain's head. Anyway, the captain dies, the team is still 2 tries down and Seymour has walked away while the coach Tupper (Roy Billing) is sulking in the dressing room after finding out about the psychopath. Can they win the shield, give the town hope and have the most fucked ending in sporting history? The climatic game is one of the grimmest things I've ever seen in a movie. Plus there's a whole bunch of graphic male shower scenes in the first 10 minutes and an underwear fashion parade which suggest a rather homoerotic element to the movie I wasn't expecting. Truly bizarre and harrowing stuff...

Charmaine Guest shows her breasts during a sex scene.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Skin & Bone here. A preview is below.

Charmaine Guest in Skin & Bone

    
    
    

 

 

Temptation

Channel 10 telemovie about two competing restaurants that are across the road from one another. Gabe (Toby Schmitz) wants to follow in his top chef father Roberto's (Colin Friels) footsteps and become a chef. He is a top student at culinary school along with Ruth (Kate Atkinson) and they fall for one another. But after school Gabe joins his father's restaurant while Ruth becomes a chef at the restaurant across the road owned by Roberto's former lover Rita (Rhondda Findleton). So it's war. Throw in Sachin (Nicholas Brown) and Carmelita (Emma Lung) who have a tumultuous relationship where Sachin wants to be a chef overseas but Chilean immigrant Carmelita has settled in Australia and doesn't want him to leave. By-the-numbers telemovie that is clearly setting up for a TV series, not bad but hardly something revelatory.

There's no nudity in Temptation but there's a scene with Kate Atkinson in a bra which you can find below. Temptation did indeed turn into the TV series The Cooks. There's actually a few nude scenes in the show particularly from Kate Atkinson and Bojana Novakovic.

Kate Atkinson in Temptation

9075kb 1min 16sec 624x408 (bra)

 

 

This Is Not A Love Story (NZ)

Light comedy about Belinda (Sarah Smuts-Kennedy) a writer who comes to Wellington to get her work published. She befriends an old lady Violet (Beryl Te Wiata) who gives her a job as a translator and has an interest in her writing. Belinda also keeps meeting up with failing actor Tony (Stephen Lovatt) and his artist partner Suzanne (Peta Rutter) who live across the way and are in a tumultuous relationship that is about to fall apart. When Violet dies, it hits Belinda hard and she decides to come onto Tony, which he has no problems reciprocating especially now he's technically split up with Suzanne. When Suzanne comes back, Belinda confesses all to her and that's where the fun begins. The movie feels rather slight and forgettable with not a lot to recommend. There's a twee feeling here which is very New Zealand and probably doesn't translate well outside of NZ. I called it a light comedy because while it ain't funny, it's more going for a more amusing vibe, which it really isn't either.

Sarah Smuts-Kennedy has a brief bottomless scene where we see her pubic hair and bottom.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from This is Not a Love Story here. A preview is below.

Sarah Smuts-Kennedy in This is Not a Love Story

    
    

 

 

Trail of Passion

Second of the Mark Savage soft-core erotic thrillers. Don't really know much about this one as I could only find a Russian overdub of the movie but it looks like a thriller about a shady character who hasn't long to live while his wife tries to reinvigorate their relationship. Doesn't look too far different from Fishnet.

Extensive nudity from Felicity Andersen and Susanne Hausschmid. There's also a tame but lengthy lesbian foursome with a bunch of unknown women.

Felicity Andersen in Trial of Passion

30036kb 3min 39sec 540x400 (breasts, bra, sex scene, extremely lengthy)

5417kb 43sec 540x400 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top, panties)

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28736kb 3min 21sec 540x400 (breasts, plenty of cleavage in singlet top, panties, sex scene, extremely lengthy)

31154kb 2min 44sec 540x400 (breasts, plenty of cleavage in nice dress, sex scene, very lengthy)

1750kb 9sec 540x400 (bra, skirt)

 

Felicity Andersen and Susanne Hausschmid in Trial of Passion

38049kb 3min 50sec 540x400 (both women showing breasts, girl-girl kssing, extremely lengthy)

 

Susanne Hausschmid in Trial of Passion

51303kb 4min 31sec 540x400 (breasts, plenty of cleavage in nice dress, panties, getting eaten out and sex scene, extremely lengthy)

26071kb 3min 43sec 540x400 (breasts, sports bra, panties, sex scene, extreme lengthy)

 

Unknowns in Trial of Passion

29291kb 3min 16sec 540x400 (a couple of women showing breasts, all in panties, girl-girl kissing, lengthy)

 

 

Travelling Light

Drama set in the early 1970s Adelaide where things are changing very quickly for the young. Leanne (Pia Miranda) is training to be a teacher but her heart isn't in it and would rather be a photographer. She still lives at home with her parents (Heather Mitchell and Marshall Napier) and is joined by her sister Bronwyn (Sacha Horler), who is struggling in married life to Brian (Tamblyn Lord) and seems to have mental issues. Leanne is excited to see American beat poet Lou (Brett Stiller) arrive in town and goes to his readings at a café with her neighbour Gary (Tim Draxl), who is struggling with his sexuality and her friend Debra (Anna Torv in her first movie) who wants to try all the drugs. Lou's arrival sets Leanne's and Gary's lives into upheaval and all centres around a local variety TV show they both work on. OK drama about people trying to find their way by not treading the well-worn path. The story is pretty light but interesting enough to watch and Pia Miranda is very good in the lead.

Brief nudity from Pia Miranda who is nude while taking a photo of her self only covered by a large fish.

You can find a synopsis with collages from Travelling Light here. I've redone the videos in slightly better quality below.

Pia Miranda in Travelling Light

16345kb 53sec 960x512 (bra)

4824kb 18sec 960x512 (breasts)

 

 

Undead

Debut movie from the Spierig brothers, a wild mix of sci-fi comedy and horror. A small town is hit by a meteor storm that is the catalyst for an alien invasion where they turn the locals into mindless zombies. Rene (Felicity Mason) is the local beauty queen who was leaving town to find fame in the city but the storm has turned her back and now the zombies are after the survivors and she and a rag tag bunch of locals including gun-happy Marion (Mungo McKay) must fight to save themselves. And things are only getting weirder. A lot going on in this movie, maybe too much but Undead is never not a fun watch. A low budget movie that looks way more expensive than it is although the amateurish cast finds it out at times. But there's always something going on and the movie is good solid watch.

No nudity in Undead but there's a sexy scene featuring Felicity Mason available here.

 

 

Visitors

Final movie from director Richard Franklin in his preferred genre of horror thriller, teaming up one last time with writer Everett de Roche. Georgia Perry (Radha Mitchell) is attempting to sail around the world but in the middle of her trip, she starts to see things and people and can't work out what is real or imagined. But the longer she goes, the more vivid these visions have become to the point that she must fight for her life. OK final movie from Franklin, a little too heavy on the ghost factor but still worth a look.

No nudity in Visitors but there's a video of Radha Mitchell from the movie available here.

 

 

The Wannabes
aka Criminal Ways

Nick Giannopoulos branches out from 'Wog' comedy and comes up with a surprisingly decent movie. A bunch of crims headed by Marcus (Russell Dykstra) come up with a plan to rob rich people by starting a kids entertainment act to get access to their houses. They enlist Danny (Nick Giannopoulos) to help them come up with some moves but Danny overstates his talent and is absolutely terrible. But he manages to whip up Marcus and his friends into a decent enough act to get hired and they start robbing. Then it turns out they are a hit and Marcus and his crew find a new way to make money, legitimately. Interesting idea that shows that Giannopoulos has range when he puts his mind to it. It's not always successful and gets more than a bit silly by the end. A number of Australian celebrity cameos which might go over the heads of anyone from overseas and Isla Fisher shows some comedy chops before her big break in Wedding Crashers.

No nudity in The Wannabes but there's a few sexy scenes from isla Fisher which you can find collages and videos of here.

 

 

Watermark

Cryptic drama that actually played at the Cannes Film Festival in its year and then was never seen again (no cinema or DVD release). I was befuddled the first time I watched it and a recent reviewing didn't help at all. No idea...

Brief nudity from Ruth McDonald.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Watermark here. A preview is below.

Ruth McDonald in Watermark

    
    

 

 

As always there's a bunch of movies with nothing to cap including crime comedies Bad Eggs, You Can't Stop the Murders and Lennie Cahill Shoots Through, light political comedy The Honourable Wally Norman, wacky comedy Take Away, another big budget Peter Pan adaptation Peter Pan, brooding swimming drama Swimming Upstream, immigrant drama The Finished People, sci-fi horror set in a car park Subterano, Bollywood movie Hollywood, drama The Turner Affair, ultra-violent crime drama Razor Eaters, New Guinea set drama In My Image, Indigenous short Cold Turkey, short about a failing stand-up comedian Roy Hollsdotter Live and the Rachel Ward directed short Martha's New Coat starring her daughter.

There's also nothing to cap in New Zealand movies including volcano drama Terror Peak, caving drama Cave In, surprisingly good horror movie The Locals, Canadian co-production Nemesis Game and low budget one hander with her phone Why Can’t I Stop This Uncontrollable Dancing.

I wasn't able to find a copy of the following movies: The 13th House, Artistic Lives, The Cruel World, Deadly Desires II: Family Tied, The Forest, Iced Lolly, Max: A Cautionary Tale, Max's Dreaming, Nightclubber, Show a Little Heart, So Close to Home and Wâhori Days. Magnificent Deed was never released. There's also a few New Zealand movies I couldn't find including For Good which might have nudity in it, I Think I'm Going and Woodenhead. I have watched Perfect Strangers and there's no nudity but I might wait for a better copy to cap some scenes from the movie.

A slight drop off for 2004 as they'll probably by only 2 updates but still a bit of work to do.

 

Tags: Jasmine Bednarik, Tuyen Le, Annalise Braakensiek, Maria Venuti, Krista Vendy, Katrina Spadone, June Dries, Julieanne Arbolino, Melanie Portelli, Jo Jo Yee, Danielle Moussa, Bindi Symons, Jenny Corfield, Sarah de Graaff, Freya Stafford, Marea Lambert Barker, Suellen Underwood, Loren Taylor, Genevieve McClean, Cari Withercy, Rene Rosenbrock, Holly Marshall, Jana Bittnerová, Serah D'Laine, Nikita Ager, Erika Heynatz, Sarah-Lina Brown, Helen Hopkins, Susanne Hausschmid, Monika Santa, Ashley Rae, Kate Atkinson, Felicity Andersen, Emily Lloyd, Karen Holness, Pia Miranda