Australian/New Zealand movies: 2000

Another good year for nudity (although most of the best nudity is in the second update) with a couple of big entries from Susie Porter (including Better Than Sex in this update). There's also good nudity in Innocence and the New Zealand movie Exposure plus a great scene from Abi Tucker in Angst and the best nudity Rose Byrne ever did.

2000

After the Rain

Don't know much about this telemovie apart from it's possibly the first production made for Australian Pay-TV (there were a bunch of movies that were co-financed by the Showtime Channel but this is it's first exclusive). Looks like a mystery thriller starring Robert Taylor and Paulina Porizkova.

I could only find a copy of this movie overdubbed into Russian so it's pretty useless watching. No nudity in it but a striptease from Lyrae Kelaher and Paulina Porizkova has her underpants taken off.

Paulina Porizkova in After the Rain

14667kb 1min 704x528 (plenty of cleavage in nice dress, panties taken off)

 

Lyrae Kelaher in After the Rain

12247kb 50sec 704x528 (bra and panties, plenty of cleavage in nice dress)

 

 

Angst

Slacker comedy about people living in a share house in Sydney. Dean (Sam Lewis) works at a video store and is writing horror movie screenplay as life passes him by. Ian (Justin Smith) works at a King's Cross sex shop because he's a failed stand-up comedian. Jade (Jessica Napier) is unemployed with not much going on except trying to dump her ever persistent boyfriend. All are about to have small life-changing moments that will help them get out of their ruts. Dean meets May (Abi Tucker), a goth, who helps him move on from his previous girlfriend. Ian goes to a party hosted by his old school buddy Barnesy (Tim Campbell) who convinces him to give stand-up one more try. Jade takes a liking to Mole (Luke Lennox), a teenage junkie who Jade convinces the boys to take in after he fails to rob the sex store where Ian works and tries to help him out, even after he steals their precious VCR. OK film with some funny moments but the slacker genre, particularly as late as this entry is, dated incredibly quickly and this movie is a prime example of it.

Great nude scene from Abi Tucker, wish this movie had got a DVD/HD release for better quality but it seems to have been lost to time. Also brief side-boob from Jessica Napier as she flashes her breasts.

You can find a synopsis with collages and VHS quality videos from Angst here. A preview is below.

Abi Tucker in Angst

    
    
    

 

Jessica Napier in Angst

 

 

Better Than Sex

One night stand romance movie where after a night out, Josh (David Wenham) ends up back at Cin's (Susie Porter) and they hit it off so well, he doesn't want to leave and even when he does, he ends up back at Cin's for more talk and sex. That's about it for it's 80 minute run time. Enjoyable for what it is and both Wenham and Porter are pretty affable throughout.

Extensive nudity from Susie Porter who went on a helluva run of nudity during this period of time (see The Monkey's Mask in the next update).

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Better Than Sex here. A preview is below.

Susie Porter in Better Than Sex

    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

 

 

Beware of Greeks Bearing Guns

Cross-cultural comedy where after 50-odd years, a Greek family find the whereabouts of a man they swore a vendetta against and send a member of that family Manos (Lakis Lazopoulos), a meek teacher, to perform that vendetta which pisses off his highly charged twin brother George (also Lakis Lazopoulos). Once in Australia, Manos is greeted by Stephanos (John Bluthal) who lets him stay at his house which pisses off Stephanos's daughter and Manos's fiery long lost love Nicki (Zoe Carides) who doesn't want to see him again. Manos has no intention of performing the vendetta and in the meantime goes along with the charade while forming a bond with Nicki's daughter Katerina (Claudia Buttazzoni) who may be his daughter that he never knew. George gets upset that nothing is happening so he comes to Australia to finish the vendetta while trying to hide from Nicki for some reason. Silly comedy that isn't all that funny and everything plotwise goes exactly how you'd expect. Seems to have done better in Greece than in Australia where it was mostly ignored which is strange considering the quite large Greek expat population here.

No nudity in Beware of Greeks Bearing Gun and barely anything worth capping but there's a video from the movie available here.

 

 

Bootmen

Based on the hit stage show, a light comedy about two brothers Sean (Adam Garcia) and Mitchell (Sam Worthington on debut), who both work in the steel mill in Newcastle with their dad and in their spare time they do some tap dancing. A big city choreographer comes to the local studio and Sean and Mitchell are asked to audition for a show in Sydney and Sean, ever the showboat, ruins it for everyone by improvising. Afterwards, Sean is 'improvising' to impress local hairdresser Linda (Sophie Lee) and the choreographer has a change of heart and casts him in the show. Sean's 'improvising' in the show to impress the lead dancer's girl gets him fired, just as Mitchell sleeps with Linda and Sean, of course, finds out. With nothing much else to do, Sean devises a plan to set up his own tap show that will go around the country and gets some of the local tappers together. Eventually, Sean and Linda make up and so do Sean and Mitchell which means Mitchell can join the dance troupe. Everything is going well, but an ongoing feud between Mitchell and a local hothead Huey (Anthony Hayes) has tragic consequences which will put the show on hold indefinitely, until the steel mill is to be shut down. So much tap dancing in this movie but it's not gay, no siree, only the movie spends the entire time desperately telling you that tapdancing isn't gay and it is embarrassing to watch. Just fucking dance, who cares? Otherwise the movie is by-the-numbers, you know every beat exactly when it happens. It's not gay alright...

No nudity in Bootmen but there's some sexy scenes featuring Sophie Lee which you can see in collages and videos available here.

 

 

City Loop

Another slacker comedy, this one funded by SBS Independent/Channel 4 Britain. Set over one night in Brisbane, it follows six workers (3 men, 3 women) at a pizza shop. Can't remember much more than that but it does have a cast full of actors that would go onto better things particularly all the male leads. Otherwise pretty forgettable and not really all that funny.

Megan Dorman briefly flashes her bottom in a mooning scene where it's debated afterwards whether it's OK for women to moon someone. Possibly not her. Anyway there's a decent underwear scene from Jessica Napier which won't be the last from her this year.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from City Loop here. A preview is below.

Megan Dorman in City Loop

    

 

 

Clare (NZ)

Telemovie that's pretty impossible to find but there's a brief clip of it on NZ OnScreen and in that clip is a brief moment where we see Robyn Malcolm's bottom. Don't know about the rest of the movie.

Robyn Malcolm in Clare

3378kb 17sec 640x412 (brief bum)

 

 

Cut

Awful South Australian-made horror movie about a group of collage students that decide to finish a horror movie that was abandoned after the original director (Kylie Minogue) was killed. The students even get the original star Vanessa (Molly Ringwald) back despite the massive bout of PTSD she has about the movie. The students, led by the director Raffy (Jessica Napier) head back to where the original movie was shot in a house in the middle-of-nowhere. Turns out the movie is cursed and once the movie is shown on screen, the killings start again and continue during the production of the movie. Oh don't worry, you'll never guess the killer in a million years because it's so stupid you need to see it to believe it. Just a bad, bad movie and not even the killings redeem it.

No nudity in Cut but there's some sexy scenes which you can find here.

 

 

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Canadian co-production set in Hong Kong that was a pilot for a TV show that never happened. An American surgeon Dr. Jekyll (Adam Baldwin) goes to Hong Kong for his honeymoon with his wife (Karen Cliche) and gets embroiled in a gang turf war when local gang leader Ah Yee (Jason Chong) forces Jekyll to save one of his gang or he'll kill him. Well the gang member dies and Jekyll escapes but not for long and he and his wife are blown up. Magically, Jekyll survives and is brought back to health with traditional Chinese medicine by Dr. Chau (Tseng Chang). But the traditional medicine turns Jekyll into a volcanically angry monster looking for revenge. Looks like they spent a bit a money on this pilot and it's full of Australian actors (also Canadian actors) so that suggests some of it was made in Australia. Interesting twist on the Jekyll/Hyde story although Baldwin doesn't have leading man chops and is badly miscast in this.

Brief nudity from Karen Cliche.

Karen Cliche in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

12960kb 48sec 960x720 (brief breasts/side-boob, implied nudity, plenty of cleavage in nightie)

 

Kira Clavell in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

5758kb 18sec 960x720 (sports bra)

 

 

Exposure (NZ)

David Blyth directed B-grade thriller where reclusive Gary (Ron Silver), a former war photographer haunted by the death of his girlfriend Elena (Miriama Smith), finds a naked woman entangled in nets in his boat shed. It is Elaine (Susan Pari), who ended up in the boat shed after she jumped off a boat to get away from her abusive boyfriend. Gary helps her out and Elaine comes back to return the clothes he gave her and notices that he's has a bunch of sexy photos he's shot and Elaine is interested and they decide to do a quick photo shoot. Gary shows it to his friend Paul (Paul Gittins) and he's impressed and gets Gary to do another photo shoot with Elaine for his 'sophisticated' men's magazine IQ, which she agrees to. It's a hit but then Elaine finds herself with unwarranted attention which she puts down to her shitty boyfriend and boss Brad (Timothy Balme) until Gary finds her dead when he becomes concerned about her safety. Well, the bodies continue to pile up so it's probably not Brad and then the killer sets their sights on Gary. But who is the killer and can it be the most unlikely person who you never know about until a dumbarse priest (Kevin J. Wilson) manages to work it out? Silly murder-mystery that picks the killer out of a hat and the answer is near impossible to predict. Ron Silver is strangely subdued and Alexandra Paul is barely in the movie until the second half where her character is hamfistedly brought together with Silver's for the ridiculous ending.

Susan Pari has a number of nude scenes while there are numerous flashes of nudity from Miriama Smith throughout the movie, never more than a few seconds at a time.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Exposure here. A preview is below.

Susan Pari in Exposure

    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

 

Miriama Smith in Exposure

    
    

 

 

The Goddess of 1967

Strange drama from Hong Kong director Clara Law. A Japanese man only known as JM (Rikiya Kurokawa) is looking for a 'Goddess', a 1967 Citroën DS and finds one in Australia. When he arrives at the house of the owner, he finds BG (Rose Byrne), a blind teenage girl who tells him that her parents killed each other in a fight over how much they were going to stiff JM. BG tells him that he can get the car if he takes her on a trip to the middle-of-nowhere to see her grandfather that will take 5 days. He agrees and she dumps her younger sister and they go on a road trip where they discover one another and we discover various moments in BG's life which uncover why she wants to go on this trip: to kill her grandfather (Nicolas Hope) for abusing her. One part black comedy, one part incredibly odd drama but typically unusual if you've watched Law's previous movies (including Floating Life). Not a lot happens and most of what does is very grim even with the bouts of humour. A very strange experience.

A lengthy nude scene from Rose Byrne, her only really proper one although she has quite a few sort of/brief nude scenes. I've made new videos from the movie which you can find below. You can find my previous collages here.

Rose Byrne in The Goddess of 1967

26586kb 1min 29sec 960x544 (bra and panties, shirt ripped open)

73464kb 4min 39sec 960x544 (breasts/side-boob, bum, bra, sex scene, extremely lengthy)

 

 

Ihaka: Blunt Instrument

Channel 10 telemovie where tough Auckland cop Tito Ihaka (Temuera Morrison, his third Australian telemovie) goes too far once too often and he's sent to Sydney for a non-existent symposium into police tactics so that he can be their problem for a few weeks. He is teamed up with Federal Police desk jockey detective Kirsty (Rebecca Gibney) and they go looking into old cases and come across one involving the murder of a groupie of a fading rock star who's just offered $100,000 to find her killer. Ihaka's no desk jockey so he gets Kirsty out and they go and try and solve the case, much to the disgust of her boss (Linal Haft) because Ihaka can't stop getting into trouble. And with this case they've run into more trouble than it's probably worth. Plays light-heartedly with little jokey asides between Ihaka and Kirsty throughout and both Morrison and Gibney work well together despite the incredibly ridiculous way the case is handled with no arrests, another dead body and more silliness along the way.

An anonymous groupie shows her breasts in one scene while there's a few sexy scenes involving Rebecca Gibney and Olivia Pigeot. Videos from the telemovie are below.

Rebecca Gibney in Ihaka: Blunt Instrument

4234kb 18sec 636x470 (bra in open shirt)

24509kb 1min 42sec 636x470 (bra, lengthy)

 

Rebecca Gibney and Olivia Pigeot in Ihaka: Blunt Instrument

13232kb 54sec 636x470 (Rebecca in bra, Olivia shows plenty of cleavage in bodysuit, girl-girl kissing)

 

Laura Stace in Ihaka: Blunt Instrument

2018kb 8sec 636x470 (bra and panties/implied nudity in photos/posters)

 

Unknowns in Ihaka: Blunt Instrument

11709kb 48sec 636x470 (one woman shows breasts and in G-string, another woman in bra and G-string)

 

 

Innocence

First of Paul Cox's South Australian movies (although there are scenes set at Flinders Street Station in Melbourne also some scenes are shot in Belgium). Elderly Andreas (Charles 'Bud' Tingwell) decides to get in touch with his first love Claire (Julia Blake) just to see her and when they meet, the spark of 40 years previous is reignited and they fall in love again despite Claire being married to John (Terry Norris). Both are reborn and Claire doesn't even bother to hide it, telling her husband she's met with her ex and slept with him but he doesn't believe her and gets his doctor son (Robert Menzies) to check if she hasn't gone 'mad'. Then Andreas falls ill and is close to dying so Claire decides to leave her husband to spend his final days with Andreas which completely throws John who starts following her to see what she's doing. Very good movie about first love rekindled as last love although the ending is a bit hokey and undeserved. Good performances from the three veteran leads carry it to be one of Cox's best known movies.

A bit of nudity from Belgian actress Kristine Van Pellicom playing the younger Claire and some brief nudity from Angela Noack.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Innocence here. A preview is below.

Kristin van Pellicom in Innocence

    
    
    
    
    
    

 

Angela Noack in Innocence

    
    

 

 

The Irrefutable Truth About Demons (NZ)

Cult thriller where anthropologist and part-time cult buster Harry Ballard (Karl Urban) receives a video tape of a cult meeting that he doesn't have much interest in but when he goes home for the night he is accosted by an odd young woman, Bennie (Katie Wolfe), with an offer of assistance which he dismisses. He is then kidnapped by a group of weirdos and barely escapes before they can do something and finds his way to his girlfriend Celia (Sally Stockwell) who helps him. During the night, she is murdered in his home and a message is left in blood on the wall that he did it then his assistant is murdered when doing some checking. That is when he meets the cult leader in the tape, Le Valliant (Jonathon Hendry), but before he can take Harry, Bennie drags Harry away and tells him that she was in this cult with Harry's recently deceased brother and that she can help him against Le Valliant. Then the strangest thing happens; he sees the very dead Celia walking into his apartment and she convinces him that he's been dreaming the last couple of days. It's about to become clear that it's all been very real and he is been played for a fool, but by who? Baffling movie about 'demons' wanting to live forever with a surprisingly nasty tone. The final act is so bizarre, lots of pulling hearts of the people's chests and some fairly full-on scenes. I really don't know about this movie, a truly bizarre movie.

Some brief nudity from Katie Wolfe plus Clarinda Kwee shows her breasts with tape over her nipples.

You can find a synopsis with collages and HD and full screen videos from The Irrefutable Truth About Demons here. A preview is below.

Katie Wolfe in The Irrefutable Truth About Demons

    

 

Clarinda Kwee in The Irrefutable Truth About Demons

    
    

 

 

Looking for Alibrandi

Teen drama based on a book a lot of kids would've been forced to read. School girl Josie Alibrandi (Pia Miranda) is doing her final year at of high school at a Catholic girl's school. Her life is going to change dramatically with the arrival of her absent father Michael (Anthony LaPaglia), who wants back in Josie's life. She also finds herself in a love triangle with two boys: rebellious Jacob (Kick Gurry) who rides a motorcycle much to the chagrin of Josie's mother Christina (Greta Scacchi) and troubled John (Matthew Newton). It's a fairly good book and the movie is pretty representative of it so it's a good watch. Was unsurprisingly popular in it's year of release.

No nudity in Looking for Alibrandi but there's some sexy stuff from Pia Miranda including collages available here.

 

 

The Magicians

Like After the Rain, this was taken from a Russian overdub so I wasn't able to watch it. Something about an American magician who comes to Brisbane and ends up fighting an evil cult.

No nudity in The Magicians but there's a lengthy scene featuring Kimberley Davies in her underwear.

Kimberley Davies in The Magicians

31744kb 2min 37sec 560x400 (bra, short skirt, upskirts, very lengthy)

 

Carla Marie in The Magicians

8295kb 39sec 560x400 (plenty of cleavage in singlet top)

 

 

The 2000 update continues with extensive nudity in the lesbian murder mystery The Monkey's Mask particularly from Susie Porter extending her impressive run. There's also good nudity in the thriller Risk, sci-fi thriller Nacrosys, comedy Muggers and action comedy Sensitive New Age Killer.

Max Knight: Ultra Spy

Another American co-production this time a sci-fi thriller where part-robot spy Max Knight (Michael Landes) has to save the world with the help of his virtual assistant Claire (Rachel Blakely). Evil tech wunderkind Zach Khan (Christopher Morris) kidnaps teenage scientist Lindsay (Brooke Harman) who is on the verge of develop a power source so powerful it can put you into cyberspace. Max, with the help of Lindsay's sister Ricki (also Rachel Blakely) try to save her but have to defeat Zach's group of trusty 'Angels' headed by Tyler (Anja Coleby) who do his bidding. Lindsay finally completes her energy source and Zach is about to put everyone into cyberspace but not if Max can help it. Silly stuff seemingly made for kids but has strange adult elements which makes it hard to see who it's really for. Everyone is pretty over-the-top, particularly the villain and it never anything more than a silly time waster.

No nudity in Max Knight: Ultra Spy although there's some pixelated breasts in a porn room in cyberspace plus Chevonne Duncan is in a bra for a scene. Videos are available below.

Chevonne Duncan in Max Knight: Ultra Spy

7336kb 29sec 656x480 (Chevonne in bra, plenty of cleavage in midriff revealing top and short skirt)

 

Unknowns in Max Knight: Ultra Spy

3635kb 14sec 656x480 (various women showing breasts which are pixelated)

 

 

Moloch

A bunch of (still) well-regarded South Australian film crew got together and made a bunch low budget genre movies between 2000-2002 that were barely released straight-to-video. I remember only finding this movie in select Video Ezy stores.

Anyway, this horror movie is about two friends Jake and Alex (Luke Dean and Taras Sobol) who hatch a plan to get rich by buying an old abandoned property called Moloch that is rumored to be full of gold. They convince their respective girlfriends Nat and Ari (Charlotte Rees and Naomi Lopez) to come along as they spend the weekend checking out and setting up for the big dig. Along the way, they get a flat tyre and stop off at a service station to get it fixed and are greeted by a creepy lady who helps them. Meanwhile, Ari spots a little girl, apparently the daughter of the creepy service station lady, having a tea party and decides to join her, only for the little girl to strangle the living daylights out of him. The creepy lady laughs it off and then warns them about going to Moloch. They reach the completely abandoned Moloch and creepy things begin happening including rooms littered with dead birds and creepy dolls plus they get locked in rooms for periods of time. At night they decide to leave but their car collapses around them and in the commotion, Nat disappears. The next morning with no car to leave, they find a terrified old man chained up who tells them of the Molochs that haunt the place and attempts to help them find Nat. But the Molochs are not done yet. Boring, seen-it-all before horror movie that takes an eternity to get going and then when it does, it isn't scary and doesn't really explain much of why it is happening. It does have two effective scenes both involving the unbelievably creepy little girl at the service station. Should've made the movie around her.

Charlotte Rees briefly shows her breasts during a sex scene but it is incredibly dark. Seriously doubt we'll ever see anything better than this considering the movie was barely released to begin with.

You can find a synopsis with collages and VHS quality videos from Moloch here. A preview is below.

Charlotte Rees in Moloch

    
    
    

 

 

The Monkey's Mask

Sex soaked mystery that follows the disappearance of poetry student Mickey Norris (Abbie Cornish). With the police unable to find anything, her mother calls in struggling private detective Jill Fitzpatrick (Susie Porter) to find her. Jill's investigations lead to her professor Diana Maitland (Kelly McGillis), a strong, very sure of herself woman and Jill falls for her instantly. Donna is married to a much younger cocksure lawyer Nick (Marton Csokas) but that never stopped anyone before and their affair begins. Meanwhile, Mickey's body is dumped in her parent's backyard and the search is over. But the affair isn't, it is only heating up even when Jill finds out that Nick knows all about the affair and doesn't seem to have any problem with it. Jill gets another call from Mickey's mother, asking her to find her killer e and before long Jill is thrown into the rather seedy side of the poetry scene and finds that not only was Mickey very much a player in the scene with her violent sexual poetry but there seems to be a whole lotta sex and partner swapping going on and there may not be anyone Mickey hasn't slept with. Suspicion seems to fall onto Donna and Nick, whose relationship is abnormal to say the least.

A lurid film and that throws you in the deep end in the beginning with violent poetry from Mickey's about her 'cunt' and ends with a confession during a sex act. The mystery in the middle is hardly gripping but the lashings of lesbian sex definitely keep some sort of interest. Susie Porter dominates the film and she has to because most of the other roles are barely noticeable including that of American actress Kelly McGillis. An interesting attempt at a different type of thriller but inevitably it's too busy being lurid to get to the heart of the mystery. Maybe, that's the point...

Plentiful nudity from Susie Porter and a fair bit from Kelly McGillis too over a number lesbian sex scenes. There's also a scene where Amanda Herbert and Cassandra McGann perform a striptease act where both are nude.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from The Monkey's Mask here. A preview is below.

Susie Porter in The Monkey's Mask

    
    
    
    
    
    
    

 

Susie Porter and Kelly McGillis in The Monkey's Mask

    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

 

Amanda Herbert and Cassandra McGann in The Monkey's Mask

    
    
    

 

 

Mr. Accident

Third and probably final movie from Yahoo Serious, who went out of favour so fast he's now only remembered as the punchline to a joke. The incredibly clumsy Roger (Yahoo Serious) works at an egg plant and causes mayhem wherever he goes. Sunday (Helen Dallimore) is a country girl who quit her chicken plucking job to make it in the city after winning the local beauty contest. Roger and Sunday meet when she enters the wrong apartment, his apartment and they fall for one another. Roger's boss (David Field) is her ex-boyfriend and an evil bastard who wants to lace the eggs with nicotine to get people addicted to cigarettes. So it's up to Roger to save the day and win the girl. Serious seems to be a victim of his own high standards and while Mr. Accident is barely remembered it is in no way a failure as a film as it's a relatively amusing slapstick comedy that is light, fluffy and brisk. Still amazing that none of his movies are available on DVD/Bluray in Australia (this and Reckless Kelly sometimes appear on streaming).

No nudity in Mr. Accident but there's a number of collages and videos of Helen Dallimore from the movie available here.

 

 

Muggers

Geez, it's been a while since I've seen this so it's going to be a struggle to remember it. Medical students Brad (Matt Day) and Gregor (Irish actor Jason Barry) are broke and owe money all over town so they resort to drastic measures to pay off their debts. They get money by stealing organs from unsuspecting victims for the black market. I remember not really been a fan of the movie but looking at the cast list and it's full of rough-looking Australian character actors so I might need to give it another look. Strangely it's directed by Dean Murphy who's best known for his gentle comedies starring Paul Hogan and/or Shane Jacobsen.

Both Petra Yared and Neighbours star Nicola Charles show their breasts in sex scenes. Gotta say that Petra Yared scene was a nice surprise back in the day.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Muggers here. A preview is below.

Peter Yared in Muggers

    
    
    

 

Nicola Charles in Muggers

    
    
    

 

 

My Mother Frank

Light comedy about mother and son going to university together. David (Matthew Newton) is a typical teen about to go to college who has a crush on his friend Jenny (Rose Byrne) but doesn't dare act on it despite his numerous dreams about her. His mother Frank (Sinéad Cusack) is bored and decides to join her son at university much to his disgust. At university, she butts heads with curmudgeonly professor Motlock (Sam Neill). Meanwhile, David finally decides to ask Jenny out and it doesn't quite go to plan. Very lightweight comedy that's not all that funny and makes very little impact.

Technically no real nudity in the movie but Rose Byrne has a couple of side-boob scenes in dream sequences (even your dreams are denying you...). Nicole Brooks also shows some side-boob in one of the dreams.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from My Mother Frank here. A preview is below.

Rose Byrne with Nicole Brooks in My Mother Frank

    
    
    
 

 

 

Narcosys

Cyberpunk thriller set in 2018 where a gang of crims rob chemical plants for drugs because the drugs there are pure and haven't been infected with a virus used to thin out the ever increasing drug addicted population. One of the gang has been forced to go undercover and films their exploits. After robbing the last chemical plant in the area, they decide to go for one last big score. The leader of the gang gets pissy with the rest of them and steals their credits and drugs then he finds out that one of gang is undercover, so he decides to kill them. Also a low rung factory worker is injected with something which may kill him or make him superhuman. Boring plot for a cyberpunk movie and the low budget strikes again with no action robberies and a movie that seems to have been padded out to feature length as some scenes go on forever. No idea what the point of the factory worker is or what happens to him in the end. Very much influenced by The Matrix but with little of the interest of that movie.

Full frontal nudity from Sandra Nikolic plus nudity from a number of other women in an S & M club.

You can find a synopsis with videos from Narcosys here. A preview is below.

Sandra Nikolic in Narcosys

    
    
    
    
    

 

Unknowns in Narcosys

    
    
    
    

 

 

Risk

Sexy corporate thriller where Ben (Tom Long) is an insurance adjuster who is rising fast inside the company. He comes under the notice of one of bosses John (Bryan Brown) who takes him under his wing and eventually gets him involved in a scam he is running where they stage accidents around town and then pay out all insurance claims at 80% and pocket the rest. Ben is also introduced to another of John's protégés Louise (Claudia Karvan) and they fall for one another. As with most scams, they get greedy and things unravel fast. Stylish thriller that is more than a little complex in detailing the scam but is interesting enough overall.

There's a couple of scenes where Claudia Karvan shows her breasts.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from Risk here. A preview is below.

Claudia Karvan in Risk

    
    
    
    
    

 

 

Sample People

Ensemble drama thriller revolving around the world of a bunch of people who frequent a nightclub over 1 day and 2 nights. Space cadet Len (Nathan Page) works in a fast food store and hates it as he would rather be at the club where he gets to see his space cadet 'girlfriend' DJ Lush Puppy (Nathalie Roy) but she barely knows he exists. Len's housemates Cleo (Paula Arundell) and Sem (Joel Edgerton) are lovers but are about to have a bump in the road in the form of fey goth John (Ben Mendelsohn). Club owner TT (David Field) has a big deal going down and he entrusts Andy (Simon Lyndon) to do the business but TT's girl Jess (Kylie Minogue), who's having an affair with Andy, wants Andy to steal it all so they can run away. Finally, a couple of arseholes are bored shitless and run amok including beating up John, hitting on DJ Lush Puppy and other such things. And it's all going to come to a head at the fast food store. From the period of Australian films where filmmakers desperately tried to grab the audience of late-teens and twentysomethings while ripping off Tarantino at the same time. Every character except for possibly DJ Lush Puppy is impossible to like and annoying at every turn. Then there's the terrible, all hands on deck ending which is so awful describing it's awfulness would take an eternity. There is one good thing though and that's indie bands redoing some great 70s Aussie songs for the soundtrack.

No real nudity in Sample People but there's a few videos and a collage from the movie available here.

 

 

Scratch

Another of those low budget South Australian movie this time a horror comedy where three young upstarts, Jay (Jed Kurzel, now a composer on movies like Snowtown, The Babadook and Monkey Man) , Mick (Victoria Dixon-Whittle) and Tommy (Aaron March) have there own TV show called Shocko where they scare the living shit out of the dregs of society for a cheap laugh. Their next victim guest is Colin (Bernie Ledger) who works as a security guard at an abandoned insane asylum and looks like a real loser which is perfect for their show. Things all go to plan and Colin seems to be losing it but then something unexpectedly comes over Colin and now the hunted becomes the hunter and he traps the three and sets them up on his own TV show. Turns out Colin used to be a game show host on some show that lasted a few weeks but has been reliving it every day since. And his game show is all about humiliation and torture. He gets Jay and Mick to answer questions with the punishment being a rather severe piercing or they get the opportunity to save Tommy whose head is inside a microwave oven. Bizarre black comedy that's actually not half bad and seems to have its ideas better thought out than the other movies. Completely nutty most of the time and at times quite nasty but not a bad watch even with its budget limitations. A surprising success...

Victoria Dixon-Whittle briefly shows her breasts when her T-shirt is lifted up by the psychotic Colin.

You can find a synopsis with collages and VHS quality videos from Scratch here. A preview is below.

Victoria Dixon-Whittle in Scratch

    
    

 

 

Selkie

Family movie where a teenage boy Jamie (Shimon Moore) starts to develop features that make him more animal than humans normally are. When his family moves to a remote island for his mother's new job, Jamie finds out what he is turning into when he goes to save a girl Samantha (Chelsea Bruland) after she falls off the jetty. Turns out he's part seal and that he's actually a selkie. But Jamie doesn't want to be a selkie and goes about trying to find out how to stop this from happening with his Scottish grandfather Malcolm (Bryan Marshall). Meanwhile, his mother is tracking dolphins but the trackers are going missing. After he helps a selkie trapped as a human he becomes closer to becoming just human but time is running out. OK movie as far as family movies go, simple plot and fun for the most part without being anything special.

Strangely for a family movie there's brief moments of nudity during the transformation stage of turning from selkie to human and there are brief snippets of nudity from Angie Christophel.

You can find a synopsis with HD videos from Selkie here. A preview is below.

Angie Christophel in Selkie

    
    

 

 

Sensitive New Age Killer

Comedy action film set in Melbourne from the director of The Masturbating Gunman about a hitman Paul (Paul Moder) who is having a number of problems in his life. He is being blackmailed for sex by a policewoman Matty (Carolyn Bock) who knows that he's a hitman. His partner George (Kevin Hopkins) is the shonkiest guy ever, whether it's deliberately stuffing up the hits or blackmailing the hitman's wife Helen (Helen Hopkins) into sex because it turns out he is the father of the Paul's child. When a big shot Chinese gangster comes to town, a $1 million dollar bounty is placed on his head and Paul wants in for one last time. Of course, George wants him to fail and Matty wants her share, so it's up to Paul to do it alone and against the gangster's numerous security. Very low budget but that doesn't mean it's not a lot of fun and it doesn't skimp on the action even if some of it is completely ludicrous. Definitely influenced by the Hong Kong gunplay action films from the 80s and 90s which is never a bad thing. Strangely this low budget movie got the backing of 20th Century Fox so it definitely impressed someone.

Nudity from Helen Hopkins, Simone Satin and a bunch of extras.

You can find a synopsis with collages and HD videos from Sensitive New Age Killer here. A preview is below.

Helen Hopkins in Sensitive New Age Killer

    
    

 

Simone Satin in Sensitive New Age Killer

    

 

S & M Girls in Sensitive New Age Killer

    

 

 

Virtual Nightmare

Sci-fi/virtual reality thriller telemovie that's part Pleasantville, part The Matrix. Dale (Michael Muhney) is on-the-rise at his mysterious advertising company Arora but he's having strange dreams about a car accident he hasn't had yet. He also starts to see a strange second world that feels like the world he's living in is a simulation. He meets librarian Wendy (Tasma Walton) who seems to believe in an alternate universe where Kurt Cobain and Marilyn Monroe are dead and Dale thinks she's a bit of a kook but likes her anyway. Also his friends are being 'promoted' to the Honolulu office after they begin to experience something strange. As the dreams become more vivid, he begins to attract attention and then gets his 'promotion' to the Honolulu office. So he decides to make a break for it with Wendy and finds that there's no world outside their small town and that a secret underworld of outcasts are plotting to make the world real again. Or is this all another simulation? Surprisingly intriguing sci-fi for something that is derivative of The Matrix, hell the ending is lawsuit close to that movie. The story is somewhat compelling if a bit overwritten when trying to explain what is going on and a tighter re-write might've fixed it but there's some good stuff here.

Very brief bottom from Tasma Walton as she falls out of the cryo chamber and some sexy stuff from Zoe Naylor as Dale's alt-world wife/distraction.

Tasma Walton in Virtual Nightmare

2552kb 9sec 720x544 (brief bum/implied nudity)

2615kb 11sec 720x544 (plenty of cleavage in nice dress that blows up)

 

Zoe Naylor in Virtual Nightmare

6879kb 49sec 720x544 (brief side-boob, implied nudity)

 

 

Walk the Talk

Dreamworks-backed Gold Coast comedy from the director of the similarly styled Love Serenade. Highly confident Joey (Salvatore Coco) decides to become a talent agent after going to an improvement seminar where he meets thirtysomething club singer Nikki (Nikki Bennett). He signs Nikki up without hearing her sing but he has extreme belief in her from the get go because of how she reacted at a video shown at the seminar. Joey has a 'girlfriend' Bonita (Sacha Horler) who was paralysed in a car accident and got a million dollar pay out which Joey is using to get his business off the ground. Well, Nikki is not as talented as Joey thinks she is and she is also highly unstable but Joey believes so vehemently in her abilities he gives her a wage from Bonita's money despite not getting her any gigs or getting any other clients which is a shame because Bonita turns out to be an incredible singer. Just as everything falls apart, Joey comes up with one last desperate attempt to get Nikki the attention she wants. Very odd comedy just as Love Serenade was but the character of Joey is such an enigma he amazingly treads a fine line between con man and deluded fool and it's an amazing performance from Heartbreak High's Salvatore Coco. The movie can't stick the ending and it doesn't work (it's basically taken from the Fairlie Arrow saga which I'm surprised was never made into a movie) but there's a few laughs and awkward moments that make the movie pretty decent. Too bad no-one saw it even with American studio backing.

No nudity in Walk the Talk but there's some sexy stuff from Nikki Bennett below.

Nikki Bennett in Walk The Talk

6752kb 23sec 848x480 (dress lifted up to reveal panties)

15702kb 1min 848x480 (bikini)

 

 

The Wog Boy

Based on the popular comedy act of Nick Giannopoulos, Steve (Nick Giannopoulos) is a Greek-Australian ('Wog') chronically unemployed pick-up artist who is used as a scapegoat by a grandstanding politician and a current affairs host for all of what is wrong with Australia. The politician decides to use him for her campaign with the help of her reluctant press secretary Celia (Lucy Bell). Over time they fall for one another while Steve's best mate Italian-Australian (also 'Wog') Frank (Vince Colosimo) is the king of pick-up artists but falls hard for Celia's sister Annie (Abi Tucker). Of course, the politician's plan goes wrong and Steve becomes a hero for the downtrodden. Or something... Very much fans only stuff and there was plenty of fans at the time as it is one of the biggest Australian movies of all-time. The movie is broad as hell with a ludicrous but timely plot. That's not to say there isn't some laughs and it's definitely better than the diminishing returns of the sequels, of which the 2022 third movie basically rehashes this movie's plot.

No nudity in The Wog Boy but both Lucy Bell and Abi Tucker have underwear scenes which you can find here.

 

 

A Wreck, a Tangle

Another SBS Independent/Channel 4 movie which is a 'wacky' drama where upper class yuppies Orson (Nick Jasprizza) and Rita (Rebecca Frith) get into a fender-bender with drug addicts Max (Anna Lise Phillips) and Ben (Damian Walshe-Howling) which begins a months long stay at the yuppies' house as the addicts 'repay' the damage of the car. At first, Orson and Rita think they reliving their pre-yuppie days by having Max and Ben around and they begin to hang out together. Meanwhile, Max and Ben continue being drug addicts and she makes money being a sex worker pimped out by Ben while he blows it all going out showing Orson his 'other world'. Orson kind of likes Ben's world and begins fucking Eleanor (Susan Prior) while Rita and Max begin to bond through heroin. Then Rita finds out she's pregnant and it's not fun any more and she and Orson have to get rid of the addicts. But they are in too deep. Silly class war movie where no-one comes out looking good and the whole scenario is wildly contrived and becomes more unbelievable the longer it goes. Thankfully the movie only lasts 70 minutes so it goes by quickly.

Annelise Phillips is nude in a couple of scenes while Susan Prior shows her breasts in a brief sex scene that cuts dramatically.

You can find a synopsis with collages and videos from A Wreck, a Tangle here. A preview is below.

Annelise Phillips in A Wreck, a Tangle

    
    
    

 

Susan Prior in A Wreck, a Tangle

    

 

 

As always there's a bunch of movies that had nothing to cap including the excellent biopic Chopper, the very good Working Dog comedy The Dish, low budget social drama Mallboy, no budget Matrix parody Computer Boy and the American telemovie Nowhere to Land. There's also a bunch of New Zealand movies that had nothing to cap including American co-production kids movies Ready to Run and Kids World, no budget slacker comedy Hopeless, no budget slacker drama Shifter and telemovie Staunch.

We are about to head into an era where a lot more movies become hard-to-find or are difficult to get and this year's list is fairly long. First up I'm pretty sure there's nudity from Danielle Cormack in the New Zealand movie The Price of Milk but I've never been able to get a copy and is now a high-priced out-of-print item. I don't know what's in the New Zealand movie Jubilee but I haven't had to time to look at it although it seems to be widely available. It's unlikely to have anything to cap though.

Here's a quick list of Australian movies I couldn't find: Cthulhu, The Day Neil Armstrong Walked on the Moon, Duplicity, Green Sails, Howley and Stillborn Frog, Kelly's Thesis, The Love of Lionel's Life, Marriage Acts, Rain, Saturday Night, Waiting at the Royal and Walking Emily Home. Some of them are telemovies which will probably never be seen again. There's also 6,000 Miles from Hollywood which was never finished. I also wasn't able to find the New Zealand movies The Feathers of Peace and The Shirt.

Finally there's Enemies Closer, a horror movie starring a bunch of soapie stars which I'm convinced never happened despite the photos that appear on the IMDB page that wasn't a page until at least 10 years after this movie 'happened'. If it did happen, it has never been released anywhere and no footage seems to exist so it either doesn't exist or was a never released tax dodge. I'm going with never finished tax dodge. At least the awfully similar sounding Voodoo Lagoon got released, sure not in Australia but it did get released in Europe. Would love to be proven wrong about Enemies Closer.

Not sure about the year of 2001. I've still got a lot to look through and it'll probably end up being two updates but may be not as many movies as 2000.

 

Tags: Paulina Porizkova, Lyrae Kelaher, Kimberley Davies, Carla Marie, Robyn Malcolm, Karen Cliche, Kira Clavell, Rose Byrne, Rebecca Gibney, Olivia Pigeot, Laura Stace, Chevonne Duncan, Tasma Walton, Zoe Naylor, Nikki Bennett